But in a short time, better took on a new meaning. There was no going home. There was no escape. Better was about being Jagger’s favorite rather than a party favor for Jagger’s rich friends and associates. Better was having a room to himself rather than sharing a small, crowded one with ten other boys.
Life had been “better” for Max before Ian came along. Max lost his private room and little benefits to become just another party favor to be passed around night after night. The few times Ian had seen him at parties, Max had been outright hostile to him.
Ian’s stomach churned and he put a hand on it. Even if it wasn’t directly his fault, Max had a very good reason for hating Ian.
The phone still tightly gripped in his hand vibrated and he looked down to see an email from Gidget had just come through. He dropped down in the chair behind his desk and woke up his laptop so he could open the email and attachment. His heart skipped when he was faced with Max’s mug shot. He looked nothing like the boy Ian remembered. This man was haggard and worn, years of pain, fear, and anger stamped onto his face like a grotesque mask. He stared at the camera, looking as if the weight of the world sat on his shoulders.
Ian’s own shoulders slumped as if he took on some of that weight. It felt like he’d never be free of his past. He thought of his and Hollis’s plans to foster children and wondered if this was where his focus should be. Wouldn’t it be better if they tried to track down the kids that had suffered under Jagger’s thumb? It was clear from Max’s mug shot that not enough had been done to help these poor souls. No one had tried to find them, counsel them, give them a fresh start outside this depraved and damaged world.
But how would he find them all? He remembered less than half a dozen names now, and there had been so many that came and went. Even more after he escaped Jagger’s clutches.
He stared at Max’s broken image as he called Hollis, who was also working that night.
“Hey,” he said softly when Hollis answered.
“Hey GQ, how’s it going tonight? Restaurant good?”
Ian closed his eyes and let Hollis’s wonderful voice wash over him like a soothing balm. Hearing that familiar murmur in his ear loosened the tension tightening his chest, making it a little easier to draw a deep breath. “It’s quieter than usual, but nothing too alarming. We did have four cancelations for reservations. A little higher than normal and that worries me, but what can I do?”
“Nothing but your job. Just keep churning out amazing food, and people will keep coming to eat it.”
The ghost of a smile tugged at his mouth. God, where would he be without Hollis? The man knew what to say to keep him moving when all he wanted to do was curl up in bed and pull the covers over his head.
“How’s your night?”
“Oh, you know, the usual,” Hollis drawled. “A little dumpster diving for incriminating evidence. A little sneaky surveillance of cheating spouses.”
“Gidget called.”
Hollis went silent for a moment. “She get a hit?”
“Found us a possible culprit. Max Hodgkins.”
“Shit,” Hollis swore softly. “I’m sorry, GQ. So sorry.”
Ian nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “Thanks.” He’d mentioned to Hollis when they made the list together that Max was his main concern. The one person he could remember who seemed to dislike Ian the most. The other boys seemed relatively indifferent about his existence, too wrapped up in their own fears and worries.
When he could speak clearly, he continued, “She also found where he’s been arrested in the past. Downtown and West End. I was thinking it might be a good idea to go down and see if I can find him.”
“Not alone, you’re not.”
Ian smiled at Hollis’s hostile tone. His need to protect Ian didn’t rankle his nerves like it usually did, because Hollis was correct. He needed backup on this one both for his own physical protection as well as his emotional stability. Even if Max wasn’t the perpetrator, Ian knew this wasn’t going to be an easy meeting if they did manage to find the young man. “Of course not. When do you get off work?”
“I can take off now if you need me. We were just finishing up for the night.” In the background, he heard the telltale squeak of Hollis’s office chair and the shuffling of papers. Apparently, he’d managed to catch his husband in the office, maybe finishing up some paperwork for a client.
“Want to meet me here and we’ll go?”
“Be there soon.” Silence filled the air for a moment. He’d thought that Hollis had been about to say “I love you” or at least “good-bye,” but there was nothing for a few long seconds like a thought had occurred to him. Ian had been about to ask him if everything was okay when he finally spoke again, his voice hesitant. “It might be a good idea to take one of the bodyguards. Or we can see if Rowe or Noah are up to their usual reindeer games? Those two are always game for a romp through the bad part of town.”