Noah tightened his arms around Rowe. “You blew my mind. I need time to wallow in the afterglow. Besides, you feel good all sprawled on top of me like this.”
“I’m heavy.”
“It’s all those muscles you’ve been building. But I like them and the way they feel on me, so that wasn’t a complaint.” He stroked his hand over those muscles and threaded their legs together. He enjoyed their after-sex snuggles as much as he enjoyed the sex itself. “You doing okay with JB around now?”
“Yeah. He’s a pretty cool guy. I didn’t want to like him, but it’s hard not to.”
“He’s a good one.”
“He still cares for you.” Rowe lifted his head to look down at Noah.
“He always cared a little too much. It’s why I didn’t let us continue hooking up. He deserves someone who can give him his whole heart and not just a tiny corner of it. Mine was all taken up and still is.” He stretched up to kiss Rowe.
“I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“We both are.”
“We’re also a pair of saps, and I wouldn’t trade that. If Mel’s death did anything, it taught me that love is precious and should be enjoyed every day that you have it. I cherish the day you decided to come back into my life and that you stuck with me while I was working things out. I gave you a hard time—I know.”
Noah didn’t bother to contradict that because Rowe had nearly broken his heart. “Totally worth it for what we have now.”
Rowe kept staring at him and something in that gaze spoke to Noah’s soul. They were a team, a perfect match, two sides of the same coin. He couldn’t have come up with a better partner for him than if he’d made one.
Noah realized that lying there with Rowe, it was the perfect moment for one of them to propose. Sure they were messy, naked, and basking in the afterglow of a great orgasm while in the middle of a dangerous situation, but Noah couldn’t think of a moment that better encapsulated who they were. But he didn’t want to do it. Didn’t want those words to cross Rowe’s mouth.
Why didn’t he want the same things as the rest of their family? Was there something wrong with him? Was he letting Rowe’s previous marriage taint his idea of marriage?
What if Rowe was waiting for him to ask and he never did? Would it crush the man he loved so much?
“You okay?” Rowe asked. “Am I crushing you?”
Noah forced a smile when he realized his worries were starting to show on his face. “My mind drifted. I was trying to remember if we left enough dog food for the sitter.”
Rowe grinned at him. “She’s got them covered. Don’t worry.”
And with Rowe, he didn’t want to worry. All he wanted was to spend his life with this man, and he didn’t need a ceremony or fancy words.
He just needed Rowe.They eventually went out into the kitchen to refuel on the leftover pizza. Rowe was feeling mellow from the sex and postcoital sweet nothings. Though he’d rather stay in bed with Noah, he felt rude leaving JB hanging out while they were busy getting their rocks off.
JB was sprawled in one of the chairs in the living room, back in a pair of shorts and another red T-shirt—he seemed to like the color. It looked good with his dark-blond hair. He had a small smile pulling up one corner of his lips, and Rowe realized they probably both looked well-fucked. He felt the puffiness in his lips and the nice, relaxed muscles from an incredible orgasm. Nothing like a blowjob to take the edge off. And damn, he loved giving those. Noah had the perfect dick with the softest skin.
He watched his boyfriend grab them beers and had to still the urge to cart him right back to the bedroom. But as he looked at JB, who watched them both, he couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy. To have held Noah and lost him?
Rowe couldn’t even contemplate what that would feel like.
All he knew was, he planned to hold on to Noah for the rest of his life.
Shoving their relationship in JB’s face wasn’t cool, though, so he stilled the urge to kiss Noah again when he brought him the beer and a leftover slice of pizza. It was hard though, after what they’d just shared. He wished they were home where they’d scarf down the food and run into their bedroom for a rowdy round two.
JB sat up straighter in his chair when Noah handed him a beer too. “Thanks,” he said, twisting the top off. He took a long pull and sighed. “So, you both work at Ward Security? What’s that like, seeing each other so much?”