“But it’s not what you want,” JB repeated. “So what? You’re afraid to tell him that?”
He held his breath for a moment. “What if marriage and children are what he really wants?” Just voicing that aloud made his hands tremble. He clenched them and dropped them into his lap. Of course, if that was what Rowe wanted, he was all on board. But so much would change about their lives. Would they still have the fire and the laughter they had now?
“I think you should talk to him about this. Be honest. If he’s your person in this world, who else are you going to share those kinds of worries with? Are you afraid you’ll lose him if you want different things?”
Noah shook his head because he did feel secure that they would stay together. “No, I won’t lose him. But I don’t want him to just settle either, you know?”
And that was his biggest fear. Right there. In a nutshell. That Rowe would settle with what Noah wanted and not have everything he wanted for himself. He wanted Rowe to have everything he wanted out of life. Everything.
“I think the relationship can only grow stronger with pure honesty, and keeping such an important thing out of discussion can only damage it.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
JB cleared his throat. “Rowe strikes me as someone who’d want you to lay it all out for him. He’s pretty damn straightforward.”
“He is definitely that. In everything else, I know exactly where I stand. It’s just this is a big thing, you know?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Come on, let’s check on Sally.” He started to get out of the Jeep and paused to look back at JB. “And thanks. I am really sorry I couldn’t give you what you needed from me.”
“There’s someone out there for me and if I’m lucky, it’ll be a lot like what you share with Rowe.”
“I want that for you,” Noah said, really meaning it.
They walked across Sally’s yard and she opened the door before they could knock. “Do you have more information about what happened to my husband?” she demanded. She looked even less put-together than she had the other day, in sweat pants and a thick sweatshirt, her hair in tangles around her face. Dark circles shadowed her eyes.
“Just that we’re sure your husband’s accident was anything but.” Noah stood with his hands in his pockets, the smell of freshly cut grass teasing his nose. “But you don’t want to know more than that. Isn’t safe.”
“But the cops—”
“The cops aren’t going to figure this out,” Noah broke in. “Not with who’s behind it. We just wanted to check and make sure you’re okay.”
“You think I’m in danger?” She hugged her arms to herself.
“We do know you were being watched, but I don’t think they are going to harm you. This guy is far more interested in JB and me right now, and we’re going to keep him interested in us.”
“Is there anything I can do to help you? I spent all those years with him gone, waiting for that bad call, and knowing there was nothing I could do about it. I don’t want to sit on my hands and do nothing anymore.”
JB smiled at her. “I wish there was, but we’ve got this. I swear. We want you to be safe.”
She nodded. “Please. You two stay safe. Chris would have hated for anything to happen to either of you.” She hugged JB and then hugged Noah.
They said good-bye and climbed back into the Jeep. Noah’s phone buzzed and he picked it up to see that Rowe was ready. He sent a quick message that they were leaving Sally’s and on their way to him.
He started the vehicle and headed north toward Cal’s house in McLean. It wasn’t that far, but with traffic, he knew it could take over half an hour again, so he settled in and tried to enjoy the scenery with the peeks of the glittering river.
JB told him about working on a ranch, sharing hilarious stories of mischievous horses and nosy neighbors. They got lucky and the trip didn’t take longer than half an hour. Rowe was coming down the porch steps when they arrived, and he climbed into the back seat.
“Did he have any information?” JB asked, twisting in his seat to look in the back.
“And then some. It’s just like we thought. Erik and his band of misfits have had a deal with all the government alphabet outfits, but guess what?”
Noah couldn’t help but grin at the wicked gleam in Rowe’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “What?”
“We’ve been given a job, and the payment is payback. But whatever we decide to do, the authorities will be looking the other way…within reason.” He rubbed his hands together and leaned between the seats, his grin cheeky. “We’re about to have some fun, boys.”