“I know you love me, Rowe.”
“I do. So fucking much. I just don’t feel like that’s us. When I was with Mel, it was such a natural thing with her. It fit her. It fit who we were together. But when I’m with you, the whole idea of marriage feels wrong. My brain and heart kept arguing. I loved Mel and married Mel. I love you just as much, but don’t want to get married. It took me a while to figure out that you aren’t Mel.”
Noah smirked. “Well, we do look pretty similar.”
“What I’m saying is that it took me a while to figure out that I was trying to fit you into a mold that wasn’t made for you. What we have is who we are and it’s perfect.”
“What about kids?” Noah asked.
“If you really wanted them, then I would…think about it. That’s not something I want either, though. I like it just us. Like our freedom and all the adventures we can have together. Kids really don’t fit into my plans. The business is enough of a responsibility for me, you know? But I don’t want to feel like I’m being selfish if it’s something you really want. You’d make a great dad.”
“Rowe, I don’t really want to be a dad. I like being an uncle just fine. We agree.” Noah felt something give in his chest. “You have no idea how much I was worrying about this. I hoped we were on the same page, but I didn’t want you to think I don’t love you enough to marry you.”
“Looks like we need to work on our communication.” Rowe gave him a sweet smile. “So, it’s you and me, huh?”
“For always, Rowe, and I don’t need a piece of paper or a fancy ceremony to feel that way. I like what we have now and want it to stay that way. Who knows? We may someday change our minds, but it’ll be nice not to worry about this anymore.”
“I didn’t realize you were worrying. I’m sorry I’m so clueless.”
Noah pulled him on top of him and wrapped his arms around him. “Not clueless. This is a big deal. All our friends are getting married, and so it seems natural that should be our next move, but I truly don’t need it. All I need is you.”
“I need you, too. So much.” He leaned down to kiss him, and Noah realized he’d brushed his teeth. Hoping his morning breath wasn’t too bad, Noah kissed him.
Surprisingly, Rowe pulled back before it could go too far. “There is one more thing.”
“Really?”
“After Mel and I had that pregnancy scare, we sat down and had a long talk about what we wanted, where we wanted to go, goals, things like that. It made us both realize that we both tended to get in a rut, put off things because we always thought there’d be more time.”
Noah reached up and gently smoothed his fingers across Rowe’s handsome face. The man knew all too well how quickly time could suddenly run out.
“There’s one thing I’ve always wanted, but it wasn’t a good fit for me and Mel, and I just kind of wanted to throw it out there. See if it would be something you’d be interested in.”
“Sure,” Noah said, his heart speeding up a little. It wasn’t often that Rowe talked about his dreams, and it was a little exciting to have him share something new.
“I’ve always wanted a big house with a whole lot of land. Acres and acres. Just a lot of space. Maybe a pond for some fishing. A place where you can open the back door and let the dogs run without worrying about them bothering the neighbors. A space where we have a vegetable garden.”
“And a couple of those ATVs for riding around the land,” Noah suggested.
“Yeah!” Rowe’s face lit up and Noah’s heart stopped.
“Babe, that sounds like heaven to me.”
“Seriously? You’re not just saying that?”
“Nope. Let’s do it. Let’s find a place that’s ours.”
Rowe’s lips crashed into Noah’s in a searing kiss. It didn’t take long for fire to spark along Noah’s spine. God, Rowe felt good on top of him, heavy and warm. And he smelled so good, like peppermint shampoo and soap. He slid his tongue deep into Rowe’s mouth and Rowe moaned, kissing him back just as deeply.
“Want you,” Noah whispered, rolling them over so he was on top of Rowe. All those muscles felt fantastic underneath him. “Want inside you.”
“Oh yeah,” Rowe breathed. “I was hoping you were up for that, so I took a nice, thorough shower.”
“I love a man who’s prepared. Up for some toys today?”
Rowe spread his legs and rutted up against him. He shook his head. “Just wanna feel you. Only you. So fucking much.”
They kissed and rubbed against each other, legs tangled together. One kiss bled into another until Noah was dizzy with desire. The lust Rowe sparked in him still stunned him because nothing had ever felt like this. The all-consuming need that rose in him with Rowe’s touch awed him.