“I’ve only ever been in relationships with submissives, where the rules are clear.”
“Then let me clear this up for you. No cheating. We agree if we want to be with someone else, we will exit our relationship first. I need trust,” I said.
“I do too.”
“Then we’re in agreement.”
He kissed me hard. Before I knew it, we were out of his seat and heading through the door at the back of the plane. There had been a sofa there before. Now a bed was in its place.
“Different plane?” I asked as he nibbled down my neck.
“It’s a foldout,” he said, unzipping the wetsuit I still wore. He peeled it off until it was a sopping mess on the floor.
“Mile high club?” I asked.
“I’m about to become a member. You?”
“Me too.”
After that, all talking ceased. Our adrenaline needed an outlet, and as he laid me on the bed and his big body covered mine, I thought this had to be the best fucking way.
I pushed his shorts down enough for him to kick them off. Then he was sliding home. When the plane shook, I didn’t know if it was from the amazing pounding he was giving me or turbulence. I really didn’t care.
He cupped my ass and lifted it off the bed. The new angle meant he went ultra-deep, and the pleasure from it all had me dizzy. I spun in time, not wanting it to end. When we came, shockwaves raced through my body.
I curled myself around him and gently bit his lip. “Thanks for that.”
His mouth tilted up on one side and damn if I couldn’t get enough of staring at this man.
“You look tired. You should sleep,” I said.
Those eyes of his dimmed. “I don’t sleep in beds.”
“Why?” I asked, though the answer came to me as the word left my mouth. I thought back to all the times I’d caught him sleeping, and it had never been in a bed. That and the story he’d told me were the answer. “I’m here with you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
He meant if he had a nightmare and took me as the monsters that chased him in his dreams.
“You’ve never hurt me.” He looked as though he didn’t believe me, so I said, “It’s true. I think on some level, you’ll know it’s me. I’ll be fine.” I ran a hand to the back of his head so I could pull him in for a kiss. “Trust me. Trust us.”
The simple touch of his hand sliding down my back to draw me closer touched me in ways I’d never thought possible.
“You sleep as well.”
He thought he would slip away, so I tangled my legs with his and held him close. With my head on his chest, I heard his heart beating. As I drifted into dreamland, I felt him move. I didn’t let go, clinging for dear life. I couldn’t save the boy, but damn if I wouldn’t try to save the man.FifteenConnorAllowing her to believe I would stay wasn’t a lie—or was it? I’d promised her and myself no lies, even by omission. But how could I risk falling asleep and attacking her as I fought off nightmares? When her breathing slowed, I made an attempt to disengage myself from her hold. I smiled when she only burrowed deeper into my chest.
“A chuisle mo chroí,” I whispered.
“Hmm,” she said sleepily.
I repeated it slowly, sounding out the Irish Gaelic phrase—ah coo-shil mu cree.
She murmured in her sleep. Knowing her, she was trying to ask me what it meant. I’d heard my mother say it once. I thought she’d said it to my father. When I asked her what it meant, she told me it meant my pulse, my heart, but it also meant you’re my everything. It fit how I felt about Lizzy, more than the word love, which I had yet to define.
I closed my eyes for a second, and when I opened them, fear had me in its clutches much the same way I held Lizzy by her shoulders. Though I feared I might have shaken her in my sleep, she was speaking to me, low and soft.
“I’m here,” she repeated. “It’s me.”
I let go as fast as if I’d burned myself. “Sorry.”
“No,” she demanded. “It’s fine. I’m fine. You’re here with me. We’re fine.”
Though I appreciated her words of encouragement, I felt sick. I didn’t want the past to taint my present with her. I sat up and rested my arms on my knees and my face in my hands, trying to scrub away the dream.
She moved to sit next to me and rubbed circles on my back with her palm.
Her comfort was too much. I stood. “This isn’t going to work.”
“What?”
I couldn’t look back at her for fear I’d give in to desire. “I’ll get your bag so you can get dressed.”