It gave me a catch in my throat, adrenaline in my veins, a shake in my hands.
When it became too much, I excused myself from the situation altogether. I rose from the couch and walked away, severing eye contact because that was what I needed to keep breathing. “I should get going…” I grabbed my purse from the table and kept my back to him.
He left the couch and came toward me, his hands in his front pockets.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Derek.” I turned to the door.
“Emerson.”
I stilled for a moment before I turned back, my breath a little shaky because he made me uneasy. When he was vulnerable and open, it showed an entirely new side to him that I found so beautiful, like I was a moth and he was the flame. My heart was filled with so much affection, I didn’t know what to do with it. It made me want to run, which was peculiar, because I didn’t run from anything.
I stared at him, one hand gripping the straps of my purse on my shoulder. My heartbeat was loud in my rib cage, like a drum. I had no idea what my expression was, but I imagined I looked like a deer in headlights, wanting to flee but too scared to make a move.
He stared for a while again before he moved into me, pulling his hands from his pockets. “I haven’t always treated you with the respect you deserve. I’ve been difficult, rude, a pain in the ass, frankly…” He dropped his gaze for a moment as he paused. When he looked at me again, he continued. “But I believe, for the first time, that I have someone in my life who has my best interests at heart…and I haven’t felt that way in a really long time.”
I knew I’d earned his trust when he’d allowed me to work in his corporate office. I knew he saw me as a friend when he confided things in me. But hearing him talk about me like this…gave me the greatest sense of accomplishment. My salary didn’t change, regardless of the hours I put in, and I put in a lot more time than was required of me, because I cared about Derek so much. I wanted to take care of him, the way I took care of my Lizzie, my parents. He was like a member of my family.
“So…thank you.” He stepped closer to me, his arms beginning to wrap around my body in the form of a hug. He’d never hugged me before, only accepted my one embrace in his office. But now he initiated it, his powerful arms sliding across my body and locking me in place as his chin rested on my head.
My arms automatically wrapped around his waist, feeling his hardness all the way around. His stomach was just as strong as his back. When we were pressed together like this, his cologne was potent once more, smelling like pure man. The craziness of the world disappeared when he held me. I forgot about all the responsibilities I had to address when I got home, taking care of my daughter and making sure she had dinner and completed her homework before bed, before checking on my parents across the hall. He carried me, as well as all the problems on my plate.
And he held me that way for a long time.
It was longer than any hug should last.
But it felt so nice…every single second.
His chest rose and fell with his even breathing as he held me, his large hands spread across my back and taking it up completely. He was a big man, and that was never more apparent than when he embraced me.
I could stay there forever…with this man.
That thought snapped me out of the moment, because I knew this couldn’t happen. I’d wrestled with my emotions and got them back into the cage before, and I couldn’t let those feelings ever become unbridled again. I hoped to have a long career working for this man, and I would spend that time hating my job if this affection deepened into something more.
So, I stopped it.
I pulled away. “I always have your best interests at heart, Derek. You aren’t just my boss, but my friend, and I will always be there for you.” I looked into his brown eyes and saw the same look of intensity while his hands glided off my body as he reluctantly released me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I forced a smile to break the tension, to deny the urges in my heart, to pretend Derek Hamilton wasn’t the perfect man I’d assumed didn’t exist. “Goodnight.” I turned to the door and let myself out, taking his cologne, his affection, and that intense gaze with me.SixDerek“What have you been up to?” Mike asked. “I feel like you haven’t come out in forever.”