The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless 6)

Seconds later, footsteps were audible on the other side of the door.

Knowing I was about to come face-to-face with her gave me a jolt of adrenaline. I wasn’t nervous because I never got nervous, but I was certainly uneasy.

After she looked through the peephole, she opened the door. Surprise was written all over her face, like she couldn’t believe I was there. “Derek? What are you doing here?” She was in black leggings and a blue sweater. Her hair and makeup were still done even though it was almost eight, but she was dressed casually to enjoy the rest of the night on the couch.

It was the first time I’d made direct eye contact with her since I’d kissed her. I was painfully reminded how beautiful she was, but I was also reminded of what she had said before she left. “Why am I not the kind of man you’re looking for?” I didn’t mean to bark out the question so aggressively, but that was what came tumbling out when I opened my mouth. “You say I’m the most caring man you’ve ever met, the most inspiring man you’ve ever met, but yet, I’m still not good enough for you?”

Her surprised expression slowly faded into a pained one.

“Maybe you think I’m a womanizer, but I’m not. I dated women like Fleur because I didn’t want anything serious. But I do want something serious now, and I want something serious with you. So tell me how I can be the kind of man you’re looking for. I’m a pretty smart guy, so I’m sure I can figure it out.” I didn’t want her out with another man, not when I was the only man who deserved her. I didn’t want to move on with my life like nothing happened. I wanted to fight for this woman.

She kept one hand on the door and tilted her chin slightly to the floor as she listened to what I said. Her eyes closed briefly, and she released a heavy sigh. When she lifted her chin and looked at me again, her voice came out as a whisper. “Derek, you are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. But…”

“Mom!” A young girl appeared in the background, wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. Her dark hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. “Mom, the washer is broken again.” When she realized the front door was open, she stilled and looked right at me…like she knew me.

And she looked just like Emerson.

Then a wide grin spread across her face before she winked at Emerson. “Never mind…carry on.” She disappeared the way she came, her laughter audible until she was down the hallway.

What the fuck just happened?

Mom?

I stared at the spot where the young girl had been, and I felt my heart pick up in speed. My chest vibrated with the pulses. Everything hit me so hard at once, bruising me all over. It took me a few seconds to look at Emerson again.

Her eyes were closed, as if in shame. When she moved her hand to her hip, she released a loud sigh before she looked at me again. “I told you you weren’t the kind of man I was looking for…”She had a kid?

A daughter?

I was blindsided the instant I saw the girl in the background, but I remained blindsided long afterward. When Emerson said she didn’t want to be with me, I’d brainstormed explanations in my head, and her being a mother was never one of them.

I thought I knew Emerson well. She was my closest friend. But now I wasn’t sure if I knew her at all…

I felt a lot of things, but the biggest emotion inside my chest was anger.

How could she not tell me? She encouraged me to open up and let my walls come down, but she didn’t take her own goddamn advice.

Was she married? Was there a husband in the picture too?

The next morning, I was already at my office when she texted me. Ronnie and I are outside.

I texted her back, just as a courtesy to Ronnie. I drove to work.

The three dots lit up like she was typing a message, but then they disappeared and she never said anything at all.

I got to the office just as the sun rose. I couldn’t sleep the night before, and all I wanted to do was focus on my work because that was the only thing strong enough to engage my thoughts. Pierre and Jerome came in later and fired up their machines.

Pierre came to my side. “You’re here early.”

I ignored what he said and focused on our task. “Do you have those numbers I asked for?”

He set his backpack on the table and unzipped it. “Where’s Emerson?”

I ignored him again and waited for the papers.

He handed them over. “Please tell me you didn’t fire her.”