Secrets in the Marriage Bed

"I want to please you again," she whispered, nuzzling his throat. "I want to feel you wanting me. I need to know that you like it when I … when I let go." She swallowed and he felt the movement. "I can't quite convince myself that it's okay to be like this with you."

He sucked in a breath when he realized she was still holding him intimately. "Sweetheart, believe me, I'd love to oblige you but I'm thirty-four years old. I don't recover quite so fast anymore."

Her hand began to stroke and squeeze, while her lips trailed along the edge of his jaw. "Please, Caleb?"

He'd taught his body to be satisfied with barely a taste when he wanted to gorge. About to tell her it would take time no matter how much he wanted to indulge her, he felt his body roar to life. She began placing suckling kisses on his neck as her free hand played over his chest.

"I want to give you…" he began.

Her hand tightened a fraction, sending shock waves over his body. "You've given me enough pleasure for two lifetimes. I owe you. Let me, Caleb, honey. Let me." The last was a sensual plea.

He didn't stand a chance.

* * *

When he woke the next morning, Vicki was gone from the bed but he could hear her singing in the kitchen. Grinning, he got up, feeling like a teenager. They hadn't made love last night but he wasn't complaining. It would come.

If he was patient.

Caleb had never been much good at patience but damn if he wasn't going to win a gold medal in it this time around. He was still grinning as he ducked into the shower. Fifteen minutes later, he finished putting on his tie and walked into the kitchen.

Vicki was at the stove, flipping pancakes. He loved pancakes but she usually only made them on weekends. Coming up behind her, he slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "Good morning."

She went bright red as she mumbled "Good morning." Turning off the stove, she put the pancakes on a plate.

He knew that part of her had to be worried about what they'd done last night, whether she'd acted the right way or not. Knowing that something was okay, and accepting it were two different things. "I'm looking forward to being patient tonight."

"Caleb Callaghan!" Whirling around in his arms, she met his laughing gaze. "Don't you tease me about this."

"Why not?"

"Because I made you pancakes."

Unable to resist, he kissed her. Her hands wrapped around his waist. They were still a little hesitant but they were there. And her mouth … her mouth was pure temptation. He kissed her with every ounce of passion in him.

When they parted, her lips were swollen, her eyes wide. He never wanted to let her go. She was his wife, the only one he'd ever wanted. If they could get past this, they could get past everything else. "We'll be okay."

"Caleb, this isn't the only problem we had. It might even have been the least of them. I've always wanted you. I just didn't know how to show it."

He was startled by the echo of his thoughts. "But if we can talk about this after so long, we can talk about anything."

"Can we?" Clouds moved over the sunshine of her face. "You're not exactly open. After all this time, I barely know you. I feel like you're only willing to share the easy parts of yourself. The rest, you keep locked up tight."

He rested his forehead against hers, rocked by how well she understood him. "I'll fight for you, Vicki. So, fight for me." It was an invitation with terrifying implications. What if she discovered the shame he'd spent a lifetime trying to erase?

* * *

Caleb's mood of tentative hope didn't last. An hour after he walked into the office, all hell broke loose with the Donner deal.

Callaghan & Associates was representing the Donner family in the sale of their multi-million-dollar shipping concern to Bentley Corporation. The deal was almost done, the financial negotiations finalized, the legal paperwork drafted. The contract was to be signed today.

"Kent, I don't think I heard you right." Caleb stared at his most competent associate. "I thought you said Abe Donner changed his mind." Abe was the patriarch of the clan, the one who'd founded their business empire. He was eighty-six and the best tactician Caleb had ever seen, but unfortunately, he had an emotional attachment to the shipping part of the family's interests.

Kent winced. "He just sent through a fax. Here." He shoved the fax at Caleb as if getting rid of a bomb.

Caleb read the three-line letter and dropped his head in his hands. He didn't need this right now. He wished Abe Donner to perdition and back and then started thinking about the next steps.

As attorneys for the family, they would, of course, do as the Donners wanted. The problem was, the Donners were split—Abe on one side and the rest of the family on the other. Abe controlled fifty percent of the shares, so without him, Bentley wasn't interested.

"If they don't sign today, Bentley will back out. There's a good chance they'll start negotiations to buy Snow-Hinkerman Lines instead of Donner," Kent said, as if Caleb didn't know.

"And if Bentley backs out, Donner Shipping is going to go down," Caleb muttered. "It's already leeching money from all their other businesses."

"What do we do now?" Kent's face said he knew the answer but didn't want to be the one to say it.

"We advise the family."

Their hastily drafted fax to the other shareholders was like throwing a grenade into a busy street. The shrapnel went every which way and Caleb spent his day trying to referee between the two camps while keeping an already edgy Bentley from throwing in the towel.

Finally, at around one in the morning, Abe conceded defeat to his children and grandchildren and signed on the dotted line. Caleb knew it had been the only viable option given the state of the shipping operations, but he felt for the old man. He'd hate it if someone tried to take Callaghan & Associates from him.

Tired and hungry after having missed both lunch and dinner, his mind on the files he'd have to catch up on tomorrow, he parked the car in the driveway of the villa, then started to walk up the path. He hadn't gone more than a few feet when the front door opened to reveal Vicki. Dressed in one of his old rugby jerseys, she looked good enough to eat, but he wasn't happy to see her there. "What are you doing up?"

Vicki couldn't miss the lines of tiredness on his face and tried to tell herself to be patient. "Waiting for you." She closed the door behind him and headed to the bedroom, excruciatingly aware of his presence at her back.

"You're pregnant. You need your sleep." He began to undress the second they reached the room.

Getting into bed, she let him get rid of his shoes, belt, jacket and tie before she spoke again. "You're doing it all over again." Her eye fell on the book on the bedside table, the book she'd planned to share with him tonight.

"What?" He shoved his hand through his hair, clearly distracted.

In the past, she'd always left him alone when he got like this, reasoning that the matters on his mind must be very important. That was before she'd realized that nothing was as important as their marriage. "What got us into trouble the first time."

He began to unbutton his shirt. "Christ, Vicki. All I want to do is catch a few hours' sleep and you're trying to start a fight?"

She clenched her fists. "I'm trying to make sure we don't make the same mistakes twice. Don't treat me like I'm not worth listening to!"

"What?" He turned, six feet two inches of male annoyance and rippling muscle under his unbuttoned shirt. "I work late one night and you give me the third degree? This is my job! You know some of the deals have us working day and night for weeks on end. I'm sorry I didn't call but things got a little crazy."

What Vicki heard was that he hadn't even thought about her once work had intervened. It was a painful truth but one she was through avoiding. Caleb's passion was his firm and she couldn't live with that anymore. "Listen to yourself!" Throwing aside the blanket, she knelt on the sheets, her stomach hurting from the tension coiled up inside. "I don't think a man who's gone for weeks on end qualifies as a husband."

He swore under his breath and jerked off his shirt, throwing it to the side. "What do you want me to do? Quit?"

"No. I just want you to think!" Trying to calm herself down, she took a deep breath. The scent of his aftershave shocked her hormones to life, reminding her of the pleasures of the night before, but she couldn't let herself be distracted from this conversation. It was too important. "If you're like this now, how will you make time to be a father? Or will I have to be both mother and father?"

"You've got the time," he shot back. "Or would that get in the way of your lunches with friends?"

She gasped and threw a pillow at him. "Get out!"