Secrets in the Marriage Bed

"That wouldn't matter if you were qualified. Like I said, it's a flexible position. And—" the other woman shrugged "—we don't have spare office space anyway so you'd be working from home."

"I want to do this." Vicki leaned forward, speaking with all her heart. "I know I'm not qualified and I know that to you I look like a spoiled wife, but I'd like to be more. Give me a chance."

Helen's eyes widened. "You're serious?" She continued to gaze at Vicki for another long moment. "Yes, I can see that you are."

"Could you give me a trial period? A month? If I can't cut it, I'll walk away and you don't even have to pay me."

"Tell you what. If you deliver, we'll pay you retroactively." Helen stood, clearly amused. "I should have known a man like Caleb Callaghan wouldn't be satisfied with a trophy wife. You're not what I expected."

"Thank you … I think."

"Thank me after you've seen the job you've taken on. We bleed money. I'll e-mail you the relevant details."

* * *

Victoria hugged Caleb the second he walked in the door for dinner.

"Hey," he said. "What's this?"

She looked up into his surprised face. "For being smart enough to help me out." Blinded by years of insecurity, she'd been fumbling in the dark.

Instead of taking advantage of her vulnerability to push his own agenda, Caleb had done something that showed her he was comfortable with her developing independence. It was the vote of confidence she'd barely dared to hope for. "I know you're busy so thank you for taking time out for me."

He shrugged and looked a little embarrassed. "It was just an idea. My way of apologizing for being such a fool last night."

"You're forgiven." She should have known he'd speak with actions, not pretty words. "How did you think of Heart?"

"You're so good with people I figured they could use you. So, did you take it on?"

Adoring him for his belief in her, she nodded. "They're taking me on for a trial period. Let's see if I can do it."

"You can. You can focus that stubborn will into work rather than on straightening me out."

Laughing, she led him into the dining room, where she'd set up a quick and healthy meal. "I'm going to keep working on that whether you like it or not."

"Damn." He patted her bottom affectionately as she sat down beside him.

Before, she would have pulled away in an effort to control her reaction to his nearness. Not anymore. She wasn't going to let Grandmother's poison ruin her marriage. "Eat." She kissed his cheek.

Halfway through the meal, he raised his head and asked, "Do you really think I'll be a bad father?"

She was startled enough to be completely honest. "I think you could be a great father but the way you're going, you might end up being an absentee one." When he remained silent, she pressed on. "Children don't only need things, they need a parent's presence, hugs and kisses and loving."

So do wives, she wanted to add. Wives needed love and attention most of all. A thousand diamond necklaces couldn't equal a moment of Caleb's love, a moment of being the center of his world.

Even if she found success in another arena, it would never be the thing her life revolved around. Caleb and her child would occupy that place. It was simply the way she was built. Perhaps because she'd never really had a family, her own small one meant everything to her. But her devotion also meant that each time Caleb put the firm above her, she felt it like a kick to the gut.

"Vicki, I don't know how to be a good father." It was a blunt statement, raw to the core.

Heart in her throat, she smiled. "And I don't know how to be a good mother." So far, she hadn't even done such a great job of being a good wife. "But I know one thing—as long as our child knows we'll always be there for her, she'll be okay."

That was a lesson Vicki had gleaned from the mockery that had been her childhood. All the other hurts would have been nothing if she'd known that she could run to her parents for comfort. "I know neither of us has great role models to follow but this is us, not anyone else. We can create the life we want for our baby." She had to believe that. Otherwise, her fear of messing up their child's life might just cripple her.

They didn't speak about the topic again, but when Caleb left to go back to the office, she saw the concentration on his face. He was thinking over what she'd said. She only hoped he wouldn't disregard it. A wife might be able to accept and understand, but a child's heart was much more fragile.

* * *

Caleb put down the phone after the last conference call with London and swiveled in his executive chair to stare out at the city lights. Silence reigned in a place that was usually buzzing with organized confusion. This particular deal was done. He'd sent his staff home two hours ago, confident he could tie up the loose ends.

It was a good thing tomorrow was Saturday. After the Donner crisis and then the problems today, everyone had been run ragged. Including him. As he looked out from his high-rise office to the beautiful lights segueing into the darkness of the sea, Vicki's words returned to haunt him.

Absentee father.

It was a term that applied to too many of the CEOs and lawyers he knew. Their children grew up under a loving mother's care if they were lucky, or under an indifferent nanny's if they weren't. Without their parents' guidance, he'd seen several of his acquaintances' children go off the rails.

Did he want his and Vicki's kids to turn to him one day and deny him any say in their lives because he'd never been there for them? No. He wanted the right to support their children, to help them grow, to provide encouragement and love. And he was intelligent enough to know he had to earn that right.

His sons or daughters would only respect what he had to say if he treated them as individuals worth making time for. Caleb knew that better than anyone. After the way his own father had treated him during his childhood, Caleb had never allowed Max any input into how he lived his life. Max had thrown away that right when he'd continually punished an innocent child for a mistake that had been made long before Caleb was born.

Vicki was right. Coming home for dinner would hardly be enough to nurture their children's love, to teach them their worth. He needed to be there for breakfast and dinner not only sometimes, but most of the time. He needed to drive his kids to school occasionally, to be around for sports games and school plays, for excited narrations of the day and even grumpy tantrums.

I know you're busy so thank you for taking time out for me.

The seemingly unrelated comment popped into his head, startling him. His wife had thanked him for making time for her. That seemed wrong. Following that thought, he found the link. So obvious. If occasional dinners at home wouldn't be enough for a child, how could they possibly be enough for a wife?

Unlike their child, or children, who'd have both a mother and a father, Vicki had no other husband to pick up the slack of Caleb's absence. If he didn't give her what she needed, no one would.

Even now, so soon after she'd begun to heal the sexual hurts between them, he'd let work get in the way of their journey. He'd pushed aside the importance of the steps they'd taken to find true intimacy and perhaps irreparably damaged the fragile trust that had grown the night he'd surrendered to her touch.

Picking up the photo of Vicki that sat on his desk, he ran his fingers over her laughing face. Jeans rolled up and hair tangled by the wind, she was standing ankle-deep in sand, looking mussed and happy enough to break his heart. It was his favorite picture of her … and it had been taken almost four years ago. His wife had stopped laughing long ago. And he hadn't been around enough to hear her silence.

Was it any wonder she'd wanted to divorce him? Sure, he'd been unhappy in their marriage, thinking that his wife didn't want him. As their marriage had crumbled, so had his dream—of a life with a wife who loved him absolutely, of a family as full of joy as his childhood one had been full of pain.

Then had come that business trip to Wellington four months ago when everything had shattered. The emotional destruction had been so bad that no matter how hard he'd tried, he hadn't been able to glue all the pieces back together.

But despite all that, he'd never felt abandoned the way Vicki must have. He'd always known that she was at home, waiting for him. That when he went to bed, his wife would be right there beside him, giving him another chance to repair the fissures in their relationship.

How many nights had Vicki slipped into a cold bed, aware that her husband wouldn't be home for hours yet? How many nights had she woken from a nightmare to find herself alone and without comfort? His gut twisted. Whatever the state of their marriage, he'd always been proud of the fact that he'd protected his wife and kept her safe from harm.