“You are very intense about your food, aren’t you, sweetie?” she said.
Moments later, he finished and she squeezed a couple burps out of him. She looked down into his face and smiled at him. He smiled back. Delighted, Lilli drank in his joyful expression. Then she remembered she needed to take a photograph, so Max would believe her. Jumping up from the rocking chair, she ran to grab her cell phone and positioned it over David’s face, ready to take a photo. David, however, was less interested in smiling and more fascinated with the object in her hand. The smile had disappeared.
“Well, darn,” she muttered. She smiled again and he looked at her with solemn eyes as he blew bubbles. “That’s just as cute as a smile,” she said and took the photo and sent it to Max anyway.
She took David for a stroll around the block. Just as she was turning into the driveway, her cell phone rang. Her heart racing, she didn’t bother to check the caller ID because she was sure it was Max. “Hi there,” she said.
“Hi, Lilli,” an unfamiliar voice said. “This is Devon.”
Lilli stopped midstep and swallowed a sudden foolish twinge of disappointment. Devon, one of the hospice attendants to her mother, he had been with them until the very end. “Oh, Devon, I haven’t heard from you in a while. How are you? How are your parents?”
“Dad’s not doing so well. He’s in the final stages of cancer and my mother was just admitted to the hospital. They want to put her on dialysis.”
Sympathy surged through her. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“I didn’t want to ask, but you told me to call you if things got out of control. I’m staying with my father around the clock, so I’m not making any money.”
“I understand,” she said. “How much do you need?”
“It depends,” Devon said, his voice choking up. “On how soon my father goes. Oh, God, I can’t believe I said that.”
“No, I understand. I took off a lot of time to be with my mother at the end.”
“I don’t want him to die, but—” He broke off again and sighed. “You would think that since I work in a hospice, I would be better prepared for this.”
“It’s much more personal,” Lilli said. “It’s your father. Listen, why don’t I bring you some money to tide you over? I’ve forgotten your address. Give it to me again.”
Devon gave her the address. “I’ll probably need to call you back for directions. Would you like me to sit with your father so you can get out for a while?”
“I couldn’t do that to you,” he said. “I feel bad enough asking for financial help.”
“You forget how great you were with my mother when she was so sick. You were there for us. I’d like to be there for you.”
“But that was my job.”
“Well, you did an amazing job and my mother and I couldn’t thank you enough. So let this be a little token. I’ll come over this afternoon around three. David should be napping.”
“Ah, the baby. How is he?” Devon asked.
“Perfect,” she said.
He laughed. “As if he could be anything else since he came from you.”
She smiled. “Please keep your cell handy, in case I get lost.”
“Will do, Lilli, and thanks,” Devon said.
Lilli drove her little Toyota instead of the monster SUV Max had bought for her use. She left David in Maria’s caring arms. After stopping by the grocery store to pick up a few things for Devon and his family, she only got lost twice, but finally arrived at Devon’s apartment complex.
Devon greeted her at the door, but his father had taken a turn for the worse, so he refused to accept Lilli’s offer to sit with his father so that Devon could get out for a little while.
Lilli gave the dark gentle giant a hug and left. The visit brought back memories of her mother’s time in hospice. Lilli had been forced to hide the gnawing grief she’d felt in anticipation of her mother’s death. Losing her mother inch by inch had been excruciating, but she wouldn’t trade a moment of the time she’d had with her.
The familiar feeling of being all alone hit her as she stopped at a traffic light. She’d never known her father. Her mother was gone. Even though she was married, she sometimes still felt alone. Her chest grew heavy, her throat tightened and her eyes began to burn. Tears streamed down her face and she tried to comfort herself.
She had David. She had her little baby. She wasn’t alone. The thought soothed her and she made a turn when the light turned green. Twenty minutes later, she realized she was horribly lost.
She reluctantly called Devon, but he wasn’t picking up. She thought about stopping at a convenience store, but several men sat outside on the ground drinking from bottles in brown bags.
Lilli began to fuss at herself. “Should have done MapQuest. It would have taken three minutes. Three minutes.” She rounded the corner and, spotting a small grocery store, she pulled into the tiny parking lot and went inside. The owner spoke very little English, but gave her directions to the interstate.
She followed the directions, or so she thought, but just found herself deeper into another area where she’d never been. At six-thirty, she gave up the fight and called Max’s driver, Ricardo. He offered to come and get her, but she refused, embarrassed by her lack of a sense of direction.
Ricardo gave her turn by turn directions. Once she arrived at the interstate, she sagged with relief. Ricardo didn’t want to hang up, but Lilli insisted she would be fine. She pulled into the garage an hour later and was surprised to see Max’s car.
She smiled as she bounded up the stairs from the garage. Walking through the corridor, she looked for him in the foyer. She spared a quick glance into the den and noticed the patio door was open. Still dressed in his business attire, he stood outside with a bottle of water in his hand.
Lilli rushed to the patio. “Hi. You’re home early,” she said, unable to disguise her delight.
He turned to look at her. “And you’re home late,” he said in a voice that could cut glass. His eyes were cold. “Where have you been?”
Lilli winced when she remembered the discussion she’d had with Max about visiting suspicious areas of town. “I visited a friend and got a little lost driving back.”
“Ricardo told me you called him from one of the worst neighborhoods in the city,” Max said.
She could feel anger emanating from him. “Like I said, I got all turned around. I should have used MapQuest.”
“If this was such a good friend,” Max said. “Why would you need directions to their house?”
Lilli refused to squirm. She’d done nothing wrong. “I haven’t been there very often. But I’m back now,” she said cheerfully. “I need to check on David.”
“Maria has him,” he said. “Who was the friend?”
Lilli bit her lip. Darn, she’d hoped to avoid a confrontation. “It was Devon. His father has taken a turn for the worse, but he’s lingering and Devon’s mother is in the hospital.”
“You didn’t give him money, did you?”
“Yes, I did,” she said without batting an eye. “I took him some groceries, too. I would have sat with Devon’s father so he could get some fresh air, but his father was very ill this afternoon. Devon didn’t want to leave him.”
“You shouldn’t let this guy take advantage of you.”
“He didn’t,” Lilli said. “I was happy to write him a check.” She paused a second and pressed her lips together. “I didn’t take the money out of your account. I took it out of a savings account I set up with the small amount my mother left me.”
“That’s not the point. The point is that this man could be taking advantage of you,” Max said.
“He’s not. He has a heart of gold,” she said, then corrected herself. “Maybe gold isn’t the best description. He has a soft, sweet heart. No hard metals included.”
“Unlike your husband with the steel heart,” he said.
“I didn’t say that,” she said. “I just don’t think you comprehend that Devon is a good soul.”
“Who lives in a terrible area of town.”
“Not everyone can afford to live up on the hill like you.”
“We discussed this. You weren’t going to visit him again without telling me.”
“I never really agreed,” she said. “But I’m an adult. I don’t think I should be hassled because I want to help someone who was so good to my mother when she was dying.”
“You can’t put yourself in danger like that. You have a son to think about. You have people counting on you.”
People? As in plural? Her heart stammered. She studied his face and moved toward him. “What are you really upset about?”
He met her gaze for a moment that seemed to last forever then let out a long breath. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“It didn’t.”
“But it could have. Next time you feel the urge to go into a questionable neighborhood, will you please at least take Ricardo with you?”
“What if he’s busy?”
“Then either wait until he isn’t, or call me.”
The worry in his voice took some of the air out of her defiance. “Okay,” she said. “But if you start fussing at me, I’ll stop listening.”
He nodded and they stood silently watching each other. Wary. Lilli felt as if she were being pushed and tugged at the same time, as much from herself as from Max. The sound of David’s cry broke the tension.
“I’d better check on him,” she said.
“Have you had dinner?”
She shook her head.
“Neither have I. We can eat out here.”
“Okay. I’ll be back down in a little bit,” she said and went upstairs to the nursery. Lilli did the bottle, bath and bed routine for David, but the baby was still wide-awake when she put him to bed. She read him some stories and rocked him, but he still didn’t fall asleep.