The Billionaire's Christmas Baby

Hannah made the mistake of looking at his lips. He really shouldn’t have such nice lips. They should have been thin, not sensual. He shouldn’t have sensual lips. But her feelings went beyond how he looked. She shouldn’t have enjoyed his company as much as she had today. Conversation with him was interesting and exciting. Being in such close proximity to him was unbearable because she wanted more from him, and that itself was a shocker. She had never wanted another man like him. She had never felt desire like this. The need for him to touch her, hold her, was so powerful that it made her want to ignore all the reasons she couldn’t possibly ever pursue anything with him.

His question. She nodded finally, clearing her throat and looking away from him and the feelings he conjured up. “Yes, I guess I have been alone for a long time.”

“Do you ever want to let go? Let someone take care of you?” His voice was gruff and sent shivers of pleasure throughout her body. She could hear the emotion behind his words, and the oh-so-tempting idea of letting someone take care of her, someone like him. But she knew what happened when you let your walls down and cared about people. There was always a reason someone couldn’t love her enough to let her stay. It was a hard lesson she didn’t want Emily to have to learn. Emily. She had nearly forgotten about Emily and why she was here. She hadn’t broached the subject of adoption at all today, hoping that maybe if she lay off the topic he’d bring it up. But he hadn’t. How could she be attracted to someone who refused to help his own flesh and blood? She finished her whiskey and turned to look at him. He still watched her with that I’m-going-to-kiss-you look that she had now identified. Focus, Hannah.

“What’s really holding you back from adopting your niece?” she blurted out. She held her breath, because suddenly all the air seemed to have left the room. And the man that had been staring at her like he was about to make love to her mouth now looked as though he was ready to storm out of the room.

Just when she thought he was going to tell her to go to hell, his features turned calm. Eerily calm. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” His words came out softly, but were laced with disappointment and accusation.

She felt her heart skip. “What do you mean?”

“We were having a nice time and you got scared. You brought up Louise’s daughter to turn the conversation away from you and to kill any desire between us.” She knew her face burned brightly, but she didn’t answer him. He was only partially right.

“You don’t want your niece to suffer because of Louise’s mistakes.”

“Louise knew what she was doing. I’m not going to pick up her mess anymore.”

“A baby is not a mess,” she said, her voice shaking with anger.

“Back off, Hannah,” he said, walking away from her to stand in front of the fire.

“It’s going to hurt you more in the long run, Jackson,” she said speaking to his back.

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“It will eat away at you. You are not the person you pretend to be. You are warm and you know how to love. I feel it, I sense it.”

“Don’t mistake desire for a beautiful woman for warmth and love,” he snapped, turning to look at her. “Hannah, you have this naive, idealistic idea of who I am, but trust me, you’re wrong. Not everyone is capable of being perfect like you, of doing the right thing.”

She crossed her arms and looked at him accusingly. “Really? Then why didn’t you let me drive home two nights ago?”

“I wasn’t about to let a single woman drive those roads alone at night,” he said with a shrug.

She smiled. “So you have a heart.”

“Providing a stranger shelter from a storm and adopting a child are two entirely different things. Look, I even turn out the lights when an elderly couple comes looking for me. Not father material.”

“Don’t joke, and don’t let your inability to forgive your sister prevent you from doing the right thing.”

He turned his back to her again. The room was quiet, so still that it seemed surreal. The moon wasn’t visible through the snow and wind. And neither were Jackson’s thoughts.

“It looks like the storm will probably end sometime tomorrow morning,” Jackson said, hands in his pockets, staring out the window. Hannah felt her stomach flip-flop as the reality of leaving set in. Things were more complicated now than before she arrived. She still hadn’t convinced Jackson to even consider adopting Emily, and she had developed feelings for a man she should despise. Minutes passed as though Jackson had forgotten she was even in the room. Hannah toyed with the idea of having one more glass of whiskey, even though she knew that wouldn’t solve anything. What she needed was divine intervention.

“Hannah, I admire your determination and your ability to fight for what you believe in. You’re very convincing.” His expression wasn’t angry. He looked thoughtful and pensive.

Hope bloomed in Hannah’s heart. Had she actually gotten through to him? Was this the miracle she’d been waiting for? “Really?” she whispered, meeting his gaze. She felt her palms turn sweaty as she waited for him to continue.

“What if I set up a trust fund for my niece? She’ll never have to worry about expenses or anything. It’ll be more money than she’ll need to live a wonderful life. She can even come and visit on holidays.”

Hannah was unable to move for a minute. She processed what he said, wondering if there was some way she was misinterpreting. But there wasn’t. She jumped up off the couch, her body trembling, her hands fisted at her sides. “What kind of cop-out, selfish, make-yourself-feel-like-a-hero kind of plan is that?” Through her rage she saw the genuine surprise on his face. “What, so she’s going to come and see her rich uncle once a year and then go back to her foster home? Hey, you know if you register Emily as a charity, maybe you can claim all the money you give to her as a tax write-off too! I thought you were an intelligent man, but you’re a selfish, uncaring idiot!” Hannah yelled, resisting the urge to pummel his chest with her fists.

“Let’s get something straight,” he said leaning down so they were eye to eye. “I never claimed to be a saint. You came here, with your own naive expectations. What were you thinking? I’d just change my whole life for a baby I don’t know? For a sister who didn’t give a damn about her family?” He straightened up abruptly and then walked away from her, his long, angry stride taking him to the front door in an instant. She watched him shrug into his coat and didn’t want him to have the last word, because his last words weren’t good enough.

She followed him to the door. “Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I thought. Because if someone came to me and said that I had a niece that desperately needed me I would drop everything. I would rearrange my entire life if I found out I had family.”

“Then you obviously don’t know a damn thing about the kind of family I had,” he said, zipping up his coat in one angry motion.

“Stop using your past as an excuse to be a jerk for the rest of your life!” She inched closer to him, not feeling the least bit intimidated as he stared down at her. “You could have your own family. You have the power to change everything, to do something really meaningful. She would be your daughter. If you had a little girl that looked up to you and thought you were the best daddy in the whole wide world, wouldn’t you do everything for her, to keep her safe?” Hannah didn’t give him a chance to answer before continuing.

“If I had a dad that came home to me every night and lifted me in his arms and kissed me, I’d know that I was loved, that I was wanted. If I was sad and thought the whole world was against me, but I had a daddy that loved me, and was there when I cried, or was there to pick me up when I fell, then I would know that everything was going to be okay. That’s what every child should have, Jackson. If this were a perfect world, then every child would have enough food in their stomach, a warm bed at night, and a parent who would walk through fire to keep them safe. I don’t care how important your career is to you or how your sister screwed you over or how many times your father hurt you. You are a grown man and you have the power to change your future and that baby’s future. You’re a coward if you turn your back on her. How can you go to sleep at night, not knowing where your niece is? Not knowing if someone is hurting her? How dare you refuse her!” Hannah didn’t care that tears were streaming down her face when she finished. She didn’t care that she’d just revealed her innermost yearnings as a child, she didn’t care that she was visibly shaking.

He didn’t answer and Hannah stood there, letting him see her cry, hoping that she’d gotten through to him. He stared at her for a few seconds, his eyes glittering, his cheek flexing.

“I’m going to get firewood, I need some fresh air.” His words came out in a cold, clipped tone and he didn’t make eye contact with her. He whipped open the front door and then turned to her, pausing at the threshold. “If Charlie needs to go outside, make sure you put him on a leash and don’t go past the back deck.”