I told myself that what was happening between us was closure.
And the next morning, when we said goodbye, I reminded myself of that fact.
The problem was that when I said goodbye, it didn't feel like closure. It felt like I'd just hit the pause button on us.
And that scared me.
20
Silas
"You look...rested," Trigg said, emphasizing the word, a huge grin plastered across his face. He laughed loudly at his own joke.
"Shut the hell up," I said. "What's going on, anyway? Why does Deborah want to give back the money?"
Trigg shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "But she wants to meet and give it back to you. She said she couldn't reach you because your phone was off. I didn't tell her that the reason your phone was off was because you pulled the hot television producer chick from the bar the other night. I didn't know you even had it in you, man." He paused, chuckling. "But I guess you got it in her, right?"
"What are you, twelve years old?" I asked. "I'm not going to let Deborah give back the money. Did you tell her that?"
Trigg nodded. "I did. Johnny said they're flush."
"How are they suddenly flush?"
"She wouldn't say over the phone," he said. "That's why we need to go by in person. But they're insisting on giving it back. That's all I know. Now, tell me about the girl. Was she as hot as she looked like she'd be in bed?"
"I'm not fucking talking to you about this, Trigg."
Trigg laughed. "Sorry," he said. "Didn't realize you were all in love with her already."
"Shut up," I said. "I'm not in love with her."
I told myself I meant it.
"I don't understand, Deborah." The envelope of cash sat untouched on the table between us. "That was a gift."
"You need it more than we do, Silas," she said. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was practically beaming.
"What happened? Did you win the damn lottery?" I asked.
"Sort of," she said. "I can't really talk about it."
"Well, you need to, because I'm not taking back this money until you tell me what's going on."
"It's nothing bad, Silas," she said. "It's the exact opposite, actually. Someone went out of their way to set things right with Coker. We're okay now. Forever."
I shook my head. "Shit, Deborah," I said. "If something sounds too good to be true, it definitely is. Does this involve money? I don't want to see you and Johnny wind up hurt."
"It's kosher," she said. "We've met with an attorney. There's a trust set up."
"I don't understand," I said. "From Coker?"
Deborah shrugged. "My employer made the arrangements - one of the guys I clean houses for. He said that Coker had seen the error of his ways."
I glanced at Trigg, whose eyes were wide. "That doesn't sound like Coker," I said.
Deborah smiled. "I don't care if Coker was pressured into giving us that money, or if he did it because he found Jesus. All I care about is the fact that the money is real, Silas, and that we can move out of this hellhole neighborhood and that my daughter is not going to get shot going to school."
"Deborah, I would really make sure this isn't anything illegal -"
Deborah stood up. "No more, Silas," she said. "Even if that money wasn't obtained in the most appropriate of ways, I've assured that we're okay. And I won't hear of you not taking that purse back. I know you've got your own things to worry about."
I looked at Trigg, and he shook his head. "Okay, Deborah," I said. "I'm going to trust you know what you're doing."
"Thank you," she said. "Now, smile. This is a good day."
I waited until we were driving away to say anything else about it. "What the fuck is going on?"
"You know as much as I do, man," Trigg said.
"What the hell happened in the past few days?"
"You mean, in the past few days while you were holed up in the hotel room, banging the TV producer?" Trigg asked, grinning.
"I'm not talking about her," I warned.
"I don't know, man," he said. "Nothing happened that I've heard about. There's no way the money came from Coker, for fuck's sake. Can you see Coker having any remorse - giving Johnny money?"
"No," I agreed. "It's insane. Still, poke around in it, will you? See if anyone's talking about anything like that going down. I'd just like to know that's not money from a drug lord or something - I don't know what the hell - being laundered or something."
"Right on," Trigg said. "Are you sticking around here or heading out?"
"I have to get back to West Bend and take this car back to my brother," I said. "But do you remember what you said about those friends of yours, the ones in the biker club?"
"The ones who'd take care of Coker -"
"Yeah, those ones," I said. "Make some inquiries on that, too, if you would."
"I don't need to make inquiries on that," Trigg said. "You give the word, and they'll take care of it. Coker didn't try to have me killed, though, so it's not my call. It's you or Johnny or Abel who need to make that decision."
I nodded. "I'll think on it."
"Where the hell have you been?" Elias looked behind me to the driveway.
I tossed him the keys to the car. "Don't worry, your precious baby is just fine." I paused. "Sort of. I need to get it detailed."
"What?" Elias asked, pushing me aside to go look in the car. "Did you fucking eat in there?"
"It's only crumbs," I yelled to his back as he went to the car. "Don't worry. I wrapped the dead body in the trunk in tarp first."
"How are you, Silas?" River opened the door but poked her head out, looking at Elias, before she raised her eyebrows at me. "He really is particular about that car, isn't he?"
"Particular is one word for it," I said. "A better word is crazy. So this is the new place?" Even though I'd gone to Los Angeles with Elias when he went to tell River he loved her, I still couldn't believe the Hollywood movie star had come back here to West Bend to settle down.
If I had to be honest with myself, I was a little bit jealous. You'd think a big time star like that would be stuck up and spoiled, but River seemed to really care about my twin brother. I wanted something like what they had.
I thought I'd had that special thing with Tempest, years ago. But I was wrong. Being with her for the past couple days in Vegas started reminding me way too much of how it was with her back then.
It stirred up old feelings in me, and that wasn't good.
"Yep." She smiled. "It's starting to look good in here, too. We're getting all settled in now. Do you want something to drink?"
"Coffee would be good, if you have it," I said, as I followed her into the kitchen. "How is life outside of the Hollywood scene? Are you getting bored with West Bend yet?"
"Not yet." She opened the fridge. "Do you want milk for your coffee? Oh, here. Fix it however you want. The sugar is on the counter."
I dumped a couple of spoonfuls of sugar into the cup, and took a sip. "It's a pretty big change of pace for you, isn't it?"
River shrugged. "You'd think so," she said. "But West Bend seems to have its own share of drama, just like California."
I laughed. "Shit. That's for sure."
"Elias was worried about you," she said.
Elias' footsteps were heavy as he thumped into the kitchen. "I wasn't fucking worried," he said grumpily, opening one of the cupboards to take out a coffee cup and then slamming it shut. "I was worried about my car, maybe. Where the hell have you been?"
"What, are you my wife?" I asked. Elias' nosiness was making me testy, and I was suddenly feeling protective of the time I'd spent with Tempest. I could anticipate what the hell Elias would say if I told him I'd been with her. Elias left West Bend right after Tempest did, got his GED and joined the Navy early, but he knew what happened with Tempest. And he knew that I was torn up about it, back then. Elias would hate that I'd been with her.
He would be sure she was running a con on me.
I wasn't certain I coul
d trust her, either.
But it didn't matter, since I wasn't going to see her again.
Elias' jaw clenched, and I knew he was trying not to fly off the handle right in front of River. "You were disappearing before, acting all mysterious and shit, and this time you took off on the way back from Los Angeles with my car, but you're still not going to say where you've been? It doesn't take that fucking long to drive from LA to West Bend, Silas."
Sitting at the table, River cleared her throat. "Elias."
"No, seriously, brother," he said.
I exhaled heavily. "I'm sorry I wasn't answering the phone, okay? I had a fight while I was there."
"A fight?" River asked. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. Then I realized she thought I meant that I'd gotten into a barroom brawl or something. "I fight sometimes. Or I used to, more regularly. In Albuquerque, then in Vegas on the fight circuit out there. Boxing, some MMA, that kind of thing."
"I thought you tore your ACL," Elias said, citing the lie I'd told him before as the reason I was back in West Bend. I hadn't wanted to tell him that Coker had done a number on me. I was trying to keep him from getting involved in any of that shit.
"It's pretty much healed now," I said. "Anyway, it was just a favor to a friend who had to back out of the fight, a one-time deal. I'm out of the scene now. I would have called, but I was tying up some loose ends there, all right? I'm sorry."
Elias grunted a response, but I knew that meant I was forgiven. "Look, I've been trying to get in touch with you for a reason. Killian had to get back on the rig, but Luke has been hanging around here between jobs. He's been doing some looking into things."
My brother Killian was a roughneck, working on the oil rigs for months at a time. Similarly, Luke's job as a smoke jumper generally took him away from things. I was surprised he'd stayed in town as long as he had. My two older brothers had been as ready as Elias and I to get the hell away from this town and away from our family, as soon as we could.
"Oh yeah?" I asked, gulping my coffee. "It's weird that Luke has been sticking around here. Is he really that interested in our parents' deaths?"
Elias shrugged. "Luke isn't staying around because of that," he said. "I think there might be a girl here that he's soft on."
"Still," I said. "Now that Luke has been asking about mom's death, you're interested? But when I said that the suicide was suspicious, I was the crazy one."
"Luke doesn't have a history of being erratic," Elias said.
"Dude, what's your fucking problem?" I asked.
"Come on, boys. No fighting." River stood beside Elias and put her hand on his arm. "Elias."
Elias narrowed his eyes at me. "Fine," he said, kissing the top of River's head. "I need to call Luke anyway."
River sat down at the table in the kitchen as Elias stomped upstairs. She motioned toward a chair opposite her. "Elias was worried about you, you know."
"Elias has a habit of worrying about things for no damn reason," I said.
"I imagine so," she said. "He's your brother, so he's probably overprotective."
"Were you overprotective with your sister?" I asked, immediately regretting the question. It had to be a sore spot with her, after she had caught her sister and her ex-fiancé together. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm a total shithead."
"Don't be," River said, laughing. "I used to be overprotective of her. I probably could have done better. You know, since she turned out to be an asshole."
I sighed. "Family, right?"
"Yeah," she said. "Can't live with 'em, can't murder 'em and dump their bodies."
"You're all right, River," I said. "I mean, you're pretty easy to talk to." Easier to talk to than my own fucking twin sometimes.
She blushed. "Thanks, Silas," she said. "I'm sure Elias means well, you know."
"Yeah, well," I said. "He thinks I'm the same guy that got kicked out of college a few years back."
"Are you?" she asked.
"No."
"Well, then, don't worry about it," she said.
"I'm sorry about what happened with your sister and mom and stuff," I said.
River laughed. "I'm not," she said. "I'm so glad it all happened that way. Viper was such a ass. And my sister and mom were parasites. Things work out exactly like they should. If it hadn't happened like that, I'd have never run into Elias. Besides, karma got them anyway."
"What do you mean?"
She grinned. "I shouldn't feel as smug about it as I do, but, what can I say? I'm petty."
I laughed. "I'm pretty sure it's not petty to feel smug. What happened?"
"I've gotten all of this second-hand from friends, mind you," she said. "And some magazines, too. My sister lost the big contract she had with the cosmetics company. It turns out they had some kind of morals clause. Having one of their models blowing someone on a reality show wasn't exactly in keeping with their brand."
"That serves her right."
"Well, wait, there's more," River said. "Then she went and got some plastic surgery. And, from the looks of it in the tabloids, it was...um, not good. So she's been dropped from her agency, too. And Viper banged his way through her model friends, so that's over."
"I hope your mom got what was coming to her," I said.
"River gave all her stuff to charity," Elias said, walking up behind her and putting his hand on her shoulder. "Sold the house and evicted her ass."
"She's just toxic," she said, reaching for Elias' hand. "So now, I've cleaned the dead weight out of my life, and we're getting a new start here in West Bend."
The way River looked at Elias made me think of Tempest. Forget about her, I told myself. She's probably forgotten all about you by now.
21
Tempest
I walked up the sidewalk to the building with my helmet in my hand, and looked around warily. I hadn't been back to the town of West Bend since I was seventeen years old. I had returned to this general area to visit my grandmother Letty, but after the scandal with my parents, she had moved to the next town over. I stayed away from Colorado entirely for the first two years after I left West Bend until I was no longer living hand to mouth, and then returned for short stints when I could over the years.
Back when everything happened with my parents and we'd run out of town, my grandmother had spent what little money she had to hire someone to track us down, but failed. It was two years later, when I'd finally come back to see her, that she'd learned my parents had ended up kicking me out and I'd been living on my own.