I nodded. "I know you're right."
She would understand. She had to understand.
"We'll need to go soon. This weekend at the latest, now that Blaze is on the way," he said. "We can talk to him and Benicio, figure out what needs to be done."
"What about April and Mac? We stashing them someplace safe in Cali?"
"I want them close, yeah," he said. "We need to be sure we have a line on your dad and June, too, leaving them here. If shit goes south with the club, families could get involved."
"After that, I'm out of the club," I said. It was only as the words came out of my mouth that I realized it's what I really wanted to do. "I can't do it anymore. I'm coming back here. A fresh start."
Crunch nodded. "That's good, Axe."
But first, there was something I needed to do.
"Tell me why you dragged me down here to go shopping?" Crunch asked.
"Daddy," MacKenzie said. "You promised me a toy, remember? I want a toy."
"Hey MacKenzie," I said. My chest was already tight, thinking about what I was about to do. "I need you and your daddy to look at something with me. Uncle Axe isn't good at picking out sparkly things all by himself. I need an expert girl opinion for this. Do you think you can help me pick out something shiny- and then we can get a toy after that?" I opened the door.
"Like something shiny for a princess?" MacKenzie asked.
"Exactly like that. Something for June," I said. "Do you think you can help me?"
"A jewelry shop?" Crunch asked. "Shit, dude, are you about to do what I think you're about to do?"
I nodded. Crunch looked at me, his eyes wide. "This wasn't what I expected when you said you needed to run an errand."
"Daddy, you said a bad word," MacKenzie said. "You said shit. You're not supposed to say that. Shit, shit, shit."
"Stop repeating it," Crunch said. "If you don't tell your mother what I just said, I'll buy you a toy when we get done."
MacKenzie sung it as we walked inside the store. "Shit, shit, shit."
Crunch swept her up in his arms. "Mac, why don't we play that little game where if you're quiet, you get a toy?" he asked.
I looked around at the clear cases. Was I really going to do this?
"Looking for anything in particular?" The salesperson eyed us, the expression on her face either fear or distaste, I wasn't sure. I was sure that, even without the leather cuts, two dirty tattooed guys weren't exactly her usual clientele. MacKenzie ran in front of us, pressed her face up against one of the cases.
"Look!" she squealed. "Look at all the sparkly things!"
"A ring," I said, nearly choking on the words. "An engagement ring."
"That's something I never thought I'd hear come out of your mouth," Crunch said, shaking his head.
"A girl like that, you've got to keep." The question was, would she feel the same way about me? It was a huge leap, from saying you loved someone, to saying you'd marry that person. And she hadn't exactly said she loved me. In my gut, I thought she did. But what if she didn't feel the same way at all? She said I was only short-term. What the hell was I doing here? This was either the smartest or the stupidest thing I’d ever done.
“You sure about this?” Crunch asked. “It’s really sudden.”
“It’s June,” I said. “I grew up with her.” Yeah, it was sudden, and it was crazy. But I’d known her for years. That had to count for something.
“She’s too good for you, you know.”
“I know. Trust me.” But it was June. There wouldn’t ever be anyone else for me.
I knew that now.
I had known that all along.
And when I had that ring in my pocket, I was just about the happiest I’d ever been in my life.
“Are you kidding me?” I watched in the rearview mirror as Sheriff Jackass sauntered toward the driver's side of the minivan. I didn’t need shit from him. Not today, when I wanted to get home to see June.
“Is that the guy June was talking to?” Crunch asked.
“Yeah,” I said. Just looking at him pissed me off. That smug bastard, the way he had looked at June, like he owned her or something. I slipped the small box out of my pocket and placed it inside the glove compartment.
"What's going on?" MacKenzie asked, from the back seat.
"It's going to be okay, Mac," Crunch said. "The police officer is just going to ask us a question."
"Is he a pig?" MacKenzie asked.
"I need you to play a little game for me, sweetie," I said.
"What, Uncle Axe?"
"If you can be really quiet for a minute, we'll get ice cream when we get home."
"Okay!"
Jed knocked on the driver's side window, and Crunch rolled it down.
“How can I help you, Jed?” I asked, leaning forward in my seat.
“It’s Sheriff Easton, and I’ll need to see your license and registration, sir.”
“Why’d you pull us over, Jed? Is this a joke?”
“No joke,” he said. “License and registration.”
Crunch pulled out his wallet and handed over his ID. "Get the registration from the glove box, Axe."
I handed him the paperwork, struggling to keep my temper in check.
Think about June, I told myself. Think about MacKenzie, sitting here watching you. There’s no way she’d want to marry some thug who was getting arrested because he couldn’t keep his anger in check. Breathe.
“You want to talk, Jed? Man to man?" I asked. "Let’s talk. You don't need to hide behind some badge.”
Crunch cleared his throat. “Axe.”
“Axe. That's what, your biker name?” Jed asked. “I heard you two were in a biker gang when you first came back here. We don’t want organized crime up around here." He looked down at Crunch's driver's license. "Joe Holder. Step out of the vehicle, Sir," he ordered Crunch.
I smiled, but not kindly. One of those smiles that barely masked my rage. "Do you see the four-year-old sitting here? Are you going to pull something right here in front of her?" I kept my voice measured, polite. Calm.
"We'll take care of her," Jed said. "I told you to step out of the car, Sir."
I kept my tone light so I wouldn't scare MacKenzie, and leaned forward so he could see my face. Then, in the most polite tone I could possibly muster, I said, "If Crunch gets out of this vehicle, I'm going to get out and put your face through the windshield, Jed."
From behind me, MacKenzie chirped. "That's silly. His face can't go in a windshield!"
Jed smiled. "Hey, little lady," he said. "I think we met before."
"Hi! Are you a cop?"
Crunch shushed her.
Behind us, two more police cruisers pulled alongside the shoulder. I looked at Crunch and MacKenzie.
Crunch nodded. "I'll step out," he said. "We don't want any trouble, Jed. Not with my daughter sitting right here."
Jed nodded to Crunch. "That's smart."
Crunch stepped out of the driver's side door, and I looked at the two officers approaching the passenger side.
"You send the entire goddamn police force over here, Jed?" I was two seconds away from walking around to the other side of the van and putting my fist in Jed’s face. But I reminded myself of June. And MacKenzie.
Jed smiled. "You'll need to step out of the vehicle too."
"My kid is right here," Crunch said. "Seriously. Have some courtesy."
"There's a female officer, she'll look after MacKenzie."
One of the other officers approached the other side of the vehicle. “What seems to be the problem here, Sheriff Easton?” she asked.
“Driving erratically,” Jed said. “Suspected under the influence. Put your hands on the car, Sir.”
“Screw you, Jed.” But I put my hands on the car. The last thing I needed right now was for anyone to get shot by a trigger-happy small town cop who was pissed off because I was seeing June.
“Well, look what we have here,” Jed said, from behind Crunch, holding up a dime sized
bag of white powder.
“You’re going to plant that on him, because June chose me over you? What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked.
“Search the vehicle,” he ordered the other officer. “Possession of an illegal substance, known members of organized crime. Let’s see what else they have on them.”
I stood, unmoving, hands cuffed behind my back, as the other officer rummaged through the glove compartment.
“You’ve got to be kidding me with this bullshit, Jed.”
Jed turned back to look at me as he pushed Crunch toward the cruiser behind us. “I’m more serious than a fucking heart attack, Axe.”
June
God, I just loved days like this. I inhaled deeply, trying to fill my lungs with as much mountain air as possible. Days like this, they just smelled of summertime. Being up here alone, well past the ridge now, brought me right back to being a kid again and riding up here. Riding was one of those things I didn't know I had missed so much until starting back up again. Going up to the ridge that day with Cade had awakened a part of me that I didn't know was dead.
Being with Cade had awakened a part of me I didn't know was dead.
Hearing him say he loved me had awakened that part of me.
I didn't know where things were going with him, or what was going to happen. I didn't know what his plans were with the biker gang, and I didn't ask. Hell, I hadn't even told him I loved him yet. I wasn't sure of it myself. The uncertainty was exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. I was filled to the brim with fear and doubt, but this time I was choosing to not let my fears rule my life.
I was choosing to not be a chickenshit.
I felt free for the first time in years.
When Cade and I finally came up for air this morning, he'd said he wanted to take a drive into town to run an errand. And I'd jumped at the chance to get a ride in when Stan had asked if I wanted to check on the upper pasture for him. When I'd left, Stan and April had ingredients for baking spread out across the entire kitchen and Stan was promising to teach her how to make cinnamon rolls. Which meant that when I got back, there would be enough cinnamon rolls to feed a small army. I was practically salivating now, thinking about it.
All in all, this was a pretty fucking great day.
I rode slow, coming back toward the ridge. The horse had worked up a lather on the way up, and she needed a break. As I came up toward the ridge, I saw smoke rising up over the other side, plumes of grey and black soot against the vivid blue sky.
My heart leapt in my throat. It was probably just a small brush fire or something, that was all.
Axe
"MacKenzie will be fine," Jed said. "She's in the other room, coloring with one of the female deputies. But we need to have a chat."
"Don't say anything, Axe," Crunch said. "If you're arresting us, we'll just take that attorney now." Crunch sat back in the chair, looking like he had seen the inside of an interrogation room so many times that it was old news for him. Of course, this wasn't exactly an interrogation room- it looked like it doubled as a room for office space, since we'd kicked one of the deputies out of it when we came inside. The sheriff's office in West Bend wasn't exactly large enough to warrant much space.
Or to take too fucking seriously.
"No, Jed isn't formally arresting us, are you Jed?" I asked. "This is entirely off the books, isn't it?"
"If we're not being arrested, we can go then, right?" Crunch asked.
"Axe and I need to have a conversation," Jed said, his eyes trained on me.
"Yes," I said. "Let's have a conversation, Jed. You drag us down here, in front of Crunch's four-year-old kid, for what? So you can prove how badass you are, a fucking sheriff in a town with a couple thousand people? Way to flex your muscles. Let's have a fucking conversation."
"Yes, let's," Jed said, nodding toward Crunch. "Why don't you go ahead and wait with your daughter. It's just Cade here I'm interested in."
"Axe," Crunch said, standing. "I'll get in touch with your father."
"No, don't." I didn't take my eyes off Jed. I could feel every muscle in my body tensed like a coil, ready to spring. "Jed's not arresting me. He's not going to do a damn thing to me. I want to have this conversation. You wait with MacKenzie. This shouldn't take too long."
"Axe." I could hear the warning in his voice, without him even needing to say it.
"I'll be out in a few minutes," I said. I was going to beat this guy's ass right here in this room.
"Don't do anything stupid."
Jed sat back in his chair, crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you want in West Bend, Cade?"
"It's none of your business why I came back, Jed."
"This town is my business, Cade. Everything in it is my business. Everyone in it is my business."
I smirked. "June made her choice, Jed. That makes her none of your fucking business."
Jed's expression turned dark. "I always knew you were bad news, you know. Even when you came back before, when everyone in town hailed you as a hero, I knew better."
"You and June were never going to work, Jed," I said. "She's not interested. And picking me up, harassing me, isn't going to make her want you any more."
He ignored me, kept on talking. "I asked around about you two, you know. Made a few calls. Picked up your little buddies too."
"What the fuck are you talking about, Jed? Who the fuck did you pick up?" My chest felt tight. Dragging me down here was one thing, making calls to find out about Crunch and I was another thing entirely.
"Called over to one of my old buddies down in Riverside, not too far from your motorcycle club, couple days ago," he said, ignoring my second question.
"Jed," I said, fear finally beginning to settle over me. "What the hell did you do?"
"Old buddy of mine from school," he said. "On drinking terms with a few clubs out there."
"You idiot." I needed to get out of here. My mind raced with the possibilities. We'd stayed too long out here, been too careless.
Because of me. Because I couldn't let go of June. I'd gotten comfortable, convinced myself we were in the clear. What the hell had I been thinking?
Jed didn't seem to notice, just continued talking. "Rumor has it your little motorcycle club is working as part of a smuggling ring, Cade. So you're coming back here, bringing your shit to West Bend, bringing your shit to June..."
His voice droned on and I thought about reaching across the table and choking him right now, then walking out of here. "Do you have any idea what you've done? Who the fuck did you pick up - what buddies are you talking about?"
Jed wrinkled his brow. "What I've done? What the hell are you thinking, coming back here, getting June involved in whatever illegal shit you have going on?"