Pagan (The Henchmen MC 8)

So then, well, we all kind of just... hung out.

Absurd, I know.

I was just... hanging out with a bunch of outlaw bikers.

Cyrus, Roderick, and I got food and went back into the common room where I officially met Sugar, Virgin, Roan, and Reeve. Reeve who was Cy's brother, which seemed odd given how polar opposite they were.

And, it was strange, but I swear they were all like... smiling and laughing behind my back for some reason. But I could never actually catch one doing it to call them on it, and I couldn't figure out why they would do it in the first place, so I kind of just chalked it up to me being a bit uncomfortable in their presence and let it go.

"Oh!" I said suddenly, making all their eyes go to me, guarded, like I was about to break into hysterics.

"What's up, baby cakes?" Cy asked, brows drawn together.

"I, ah, I forgot to... call Benny. He's my employee. It's over an hour after opening. He's probably wondering..." - Why the place was a mess? Why my shoes were still on the floor?

"It's cool," Cy said, shrugging. "Pagan called him and talked to him."

"Talked to him and told him what?" I asked, tone guarded, not overly comfortable with the idea of Pagan giving him the whole truth. Why? I wasn't sure. It just made my belly feel weird. Maybe a part of it was because Benny was always telling me to be careful around Ethan.

But that was absurd.

It wasn't my fault he tried to maul me like an animal.

"Don't know what he told him, just know he said you wouldn't be in today. And that if he wanted to see you, that you're here."

Well, that made me feel mildly better.

He probably thought I was having a sexathon, something I knew he had been thinking I needed over the past few days with my foul mood. That being said, I was going to need to tell him. You know, once I figured out what I was going to do about it.

I needed to go to the police, right?

There didn't seem to really be a choice there, even though the idea of that made my belly feel all liquid and weird. I had to press charges. I had to make the police aware of what he was capable of. I didn't think he would necessarily get locked up for it, but maybe he would get some kind of punishment. Maybe it would leave a paper trail in case some other poor girl got hurt by him. It would show a pattern.

I took a deep breath, the decision made. I was going to go and file a report, give them the footage from the cameras. Then they could go from there and decide what to do.

Once Pagan got back, I was going to ask him to take me home so I could get a decent outfit on, then bring me.

Maybe he would stay with me during it.

I shook my head at myself, taking a deep breath. I needed to not think things like that. True, he had been good to me the night before. And maybe I had his name across my back, but that didn't mean anything. Right? We were just... nothing to each other really. Just... bodies.

There was a distinct sinking feeling inside at that thought, reminding me again how in trouble I was on this front. Because on the one hand, I knew it was smart to just stay away from him. On the other, though, I knew how unlikely that was. I was into him. If he crooked a finger, I was pretty sure I would follow him. Likely, knowing him, into his bedsheets. I also knew that, to do that, would likely lead to real, genuine, impossible to ignore feelings toward him.

But, maybe that was just something I would think about when it came to pass. Why couldn't I just enjoy things as they progressed?

Maybe it would eventually lead to hurt feelings or even heartbreak, but was that really enough reason- possible future pain- not to enjoy something I wanted in the present?

I had always been someone to plot, to plan, to write pro and con lists, to know exactly what I was getting into. That was how I got out of the bad area of town. That was how I opened a business when everyone I knew and the very economy was telling me it would be a failed endeavor. That was how, despite seemingly insurmountable opposition, I just barely managed to hold onto it, even though it meant the kind of belt tightening that almost cut off circulation.

That being said, had that ever gotten me anywhere in relationships? I was pretty sure my present (and long standing) singledom had proven maybe I needed to ease up and go with the flow a little.