It wasn't that I was thinking that I could change Pagan per se. It wasn't even to say that I thought he was someone that I should want to settle down with. Really, he was a terrible choice if you really looked at him. But so what? So what if we kept... doing what we were doing and I maybe started having feelings? So what if they were one-sided? So what if I needed to drown that in a container of store brand ice cream and five-dollar wine? Chances were, even if I didn't take the chance on him, I would find other, lesser things to ice cream and wine binge over anyway. Might as well make it count, right?
Feeling oddly antsy just sitting there, maybe getting a little freaked that Pagan still hadn't returned, I offered to gather the plates and cups and clean up the breakfast mess. And, given that they were a bunch of dudes who likely really didn't want to be stuck with the task in the first place, not a single one put up a fight, giving me a few blissful moments alone in the kitchen as I handled that and then, just for good measure, gave the whole area a good scrub, figuring with a compound full of guys, that it had likely been a while.
It was almost eleven in the morning when I finally heard a car outside, making me stiffen, internally reminding myself that it was an MC, and to not get my hopes up. It could be anyone.
But I had a feeling it was him.
I washed my hands, self-consciously flattened my hair, all the time knowing that no amount of hair fuss was going to change the fact that I looked like shit thanks to my messed up face, but still wanting to look decent for him regardless, then I made my way out into the common room.
"The fuck do you have on?" Yeah, that was my greeting from Pagan, perfectly characteristic if you ask me.
I felt a surge of insecurity, worrying that maybe I should have made it clear to Roderick earlier that Pagan and I were just... screwing around, that I wasn't his old lady or whatever. Pagan probably didn't want his name on my back if we were just casual. Right?
And it was right about then that all the men in the common room, aside from Pagan who was looking at me with drawn-in brows, were laughing their asses off.
"What's so funny?" I asked, looking at Cyrus as he composed himself.
He shook his head, eyes bright.
It was Roderick who stood, towering over me, making me have to angle my head up to look at him. His charming dimple was on display as he walked up and chucked me under the chin. "I was just fucking with you, mami," he told me, eyes dancing.
"Fucking with me?" I repeated, still not catching on.
"Henchmen old ladies don't wear their man's name on their back," Roderick explained.
"I think they would chop off the balls of any man who told them to actually," Cyrus added.
I felt my lips curve up, shaking my head. "You guys suck," I declared. "Especially you," I added, lowering my eyes at Roderick in mock anger.
"Just having a little fun, mami," he said, winking, then moving off.
"I had no idea," I said, looking at Pagan, willing him not to think I was being some creepy, clingy chick like that, as I reached to pull off the cut.
"Leave it," he said instead, yanking it back up on my shoulders once he was close enough.
And with his hands raised, it was the first time I got a good look.
One thing was infinitely clear- Pagan had just gotten into a fight. Again.
And don't ask me why, but somehow, I knew who was the recipient of that beating.
"What did you do?" I asked, my voice a strange, hollow whisper.THIRTEENPagan"Fucking finally," Edison growled when I emerged from my room, fully dressed, feeling the oddest fucking surge of guilt at leaving Kennedy when she was passed out. "This mother fucker been breathing easy thinking he got away with it for hours," he added, making me aware that while I had managed to calm down slightly, thanks to having Kennedy get all melty with me, he was still as fucking wired as he had been the moment he had laid his eyes on her.
That was Edison though.
He had triggers, most of which we didn't learn about until something pulled it.
But women with busted faces, busted anything, that was his most hair one.
"Couldn't leave her when she was freaked the fuck out," I said, shrugging. "I might not be the most sensitive of guys," I said, making Edison snort. I don't think anyone could have ever accused me of sensitivity. "But I'm not a complete dick either. She needed someone there. And since I'm the one who is fucking her, that needed to be me."