Pagan (The Henchmen MC 8)

"I honestly don't even know," I admitted, shaking my head. "And we actually haven't even, um, discussed how 'serious' we are or anything yet."

"Not to air dirty laundry," Lo said, giving me a smile. "But I don't think it is any secret, least of all to you, that Pagan has enjoyed a, well, variety of women."

"And quite a number of them," I agreed, feeling nothing about that because it meant nothing.

"Let's forget this building for a minute. Him bringing you to his house, flaunting you around his brothers... that shows how serious he is, whether even he realized it right at first or not. We wouldn't be here if we didn't think he was serious. We are a pretty exclusive club," he said with a warm smile. "We don't let just any random fuck-buddy in."

Somehow, that felt good to hear. I knew enough of the girls club to know that they were a pretty big force to be reckoned with. They were all smart and capable and strong in their own ways. So they weren't the type to throw things around unless they meant it, to welcome me into their fold unless they were sure about me.

"So this girls club. Is this a cis-ters only thing, or can a sister join up too?" Benny asked, making me turn a little guiltily for not introducing him already.

"Ladies, this is Benny. He is amazing," I said, as I always did when I introduced him.

Then, well, it was a whirlwind of conversation as I tried really hard (and mostly succeeded) in keeping everyone and their significant other straight.

An apt Benny and I were told all the various stories about how each woman came to be with each man, each story just as sweet (and at turns, tragic) as the last.

Almost all of them came from such tragedy, overcame so many obstacles, had to endure so much before they finally stood on their own feet, took their lives back, built themselves from the shambles.

Suddenly, I felt almost obnoxiously unworthy even to be considered a member of the girls club.

"Deep breaths," Elsie, the tall, blonde, insanely attractive woman who apparently made a lot of money said, coming up beside me as Janie and Alex seemed to get into a debate over some thing or another, which they apparently did often, being best friends and all. "I think I have a pretty good idea how you are feeling now. It's so easy to feel like an outsider when this club has a leader of a paramilitary organization, a bomb expert, a profiler, and a hacker, and that all the others have extensive self-defense training in some form or another. I mean, I was like you when they pulled me into the fold. I was just... normal."

"Was?" I asked, picking up on something.

"Yeah, well, you can't be a member of the girls club without learning how to take down a man twice your size. Apparently that is some part of the deal when you sign up- you have to learn Krav Maga and LINE."

"Krav Maga and LINE?" I repeated, already feeling lost.

"Israeli military fighting and the stuff they teach in the Marines."

"You do Israeli military fighting?" I asked, looking at her, seeing nothing but a softness and incredible fashion sense.

"Twice a week, every week. Janie will be knocking down my door if I don't show."

A vision flashed across my eyes of Ethan grabbing at me, overpowering me, and I decided maybe some Krav Maga and LINE would be a good thing. Sure, I had Pagan. But we weren't attached at the hip. He couldn't protect me all the time. I needed to learn to take care of myself. Though, I was pretty sure the threat of a woman belonging to a member of The Henchmen MC was enough of a reason for many to stay away from me in the first place. It would just be nice for my peace of mind.

And, I had to admit, the idea of maybe expanding my circle, making some female friends finally, really intrigued me. I had just never had time to make friends in the past, being so busy with work.

The fact that they were all part of The Henchmen circle made it even easier to forge deep bonds, seeing as I spent so much time at the compound to begin with.

"So," Elsie said, looking back at me. "These highlights of mine are costing me seven-hundred a month..."

I smiled at her. "I think I can fit you in for a friends and family discount. And it's already about two-hundred cheaper anyway. Whoever is doing your hair is gouging you."

"A box of dye is ten bucks," Janie cut in, giving us a smile. "And you can work on your gun-assembling skills while it sets."

"Right, because that's something I totally do every month- assemble guns," Elsie shot back.