Sugar (The Henchmen MC 12)

"Nah, our girl here has taken vows of celibacy," Jamie said, deadpan, knowing it was possibly the most ridiculous thing you could say about me.

"Tell me he's good."

"They woke me up last night," Savea supplied, shooting me a guilty look. "What? It's true. I was asleep on the couch. In the living room," she added for emphasis.

"Well," Fee said, lips twitching, "if she doesn't look and sound like a demon getting exorcised, he's not doing it right," she declared. "What? I'm trying to give up my deviant, sexual innuendo ways. But it's hard. It's so hard."

"Oh, get real," Lea said, tossing sprinkles at her. "Even if you could close the sexual innuendo door, you'd come crashing through the wall like the effing Kool-Aid man."

"Anyway," Fee said after shooting Lea a smirk. "He's good, right? He even walks like he is good."

"How can a man walk like he's good?" Dusty asked, shaking her head.

Fee's eyes were dancing when she declared, "I was trying to be delicate. But we all know that isn't like me. So fine. He walks like he has to tuck it into his sock," she informed everyone, making Dusty's cheeks heat.

Normally, I would be right in the muck with them, trying to upstage the ever dirty-mouthed Fee, trying to out-innuendo her. Which was no easy job since she used to work as a phone sex operator. Though I did put up a valiant fight.

But I found myself in the odd position of not wanting to share so much, to hold onto it, to keep it between the two of us.

Which was so incredibly not like me.

So much so that I fought past it.

"King Kong could climb it in the next remake. That's all I'm saying."

"Peyton," Autumn said after a few more rounds of big dick jokes, including one about it being like using the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.

"Yeah?" I asked, still laughing at Fee.

"What's going on?" she asked, tone sincere.

"We're talking about what is going on," I covered. "I'm screwing someone very off-limits. And if you tell Eli, I am going to lax-attack your coffee for it."

She ignored the latter part, shaking her head. "If it were just sex, you would have burst through that door telling us how bikes aren't the only thing bikers can ride. You were being coy about it. So spill."

I couldn't - maybe for the first time in my life - make my mouth and tongue work in unison. The tension in the room became stifling, palpable, uncomfortable enough for me to actually shift my feet.

I wasn't the only one feeling the pressure either.

"She cooked for him," Savea blurted out, shooting me an immediate look of regret.

"You cooked for him?" Autumn asked, knowing the significance there.

"You cooked for who?" King asked, walking back through the room with a suspicious envelope tucked into his back pocket. But I knew better than to ask about business.

"Ronny's new prostate-palpater," Fee lied effortlessly. "Mind yo' business," she added with a sassy smirk.

"Fine, keep your secrets," he said, shaking his head at us. "I'll see you tomorrow, Savvs," he added, sending her one of his sweet smiles. It was a final deathblow to her poor undersexed system.

"You're not staying for dinner?" Helen asked, tone sharp. We all knew skipping Sunday dinner was her biggest no-no.

King gave her a look that she seemed to understand, and said simply, "Work," before heading out.

"She also let him see her without makeup," Jamie supplied suddenly in his absence, making me shoot her a You traitor! look. Which she ignored. "Or contacts," she added.

"Outside," Autumn demanded. "Now," she added when I hesitated, grabbing my wrist, and pulling me with her. "What the hell is going on with you?" she asked as soon as we were on the deck out back.

"Nothing," I objected, shaking my head.

"Please," she said, rolling her eyes very much the way she used to when we were kids. "You can't lie to me. So you might as well just tell me the truth. You have feelings for this guy?"

"I don't know," I admitted, looking down at my feet which were clad in ballet flats, one with Freddie on the top, the other with Jason. "I don't know what is going on."

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked, sounding hurt.

"I don't want to admit it to myself, Autumn. How could I tell you?"

"Jamie knew," she pointed out.

"Jamie is still crashing on my couch," I reminded her. "She is around when he comes by a lot. She sees things. She assumes things because of what she sees."

"And what she is assuming... it's wrong?"

"It's... complicated," I half-lied.

"Alright, look," she said, tone firm, making me look her in the eye. "I get it. Dad sucked. Dad sucked extra hard. And, while you've never told me anything about it, I imagine it got worse when I left. I wasn't there to help shield some of his anger."