Then, well, we had the hard talk.
Spanning ten years of uncertainty and misunderstandings.
By the end, we had both gotten it all out, all the resentments, hurts, disappointments.
It was all fine.
Until we got to the subject of Ty.
"He's an arms dealer, Winnie."
"I'm aware of that. I'm an ex-con."
"No you're not," he insisted.
"But I am. On paper. According to society. I am."
"But you're not really a criminal, Win. He is."
"You don't even know him and you think we're better than him. That's close-minded."
"It's not close-minded to call a criminal a criminal," he insisted. "We all make choices in life. And we do that knowing people will judge us based on them. Whether you like that, or agree with that, or not. That's how it is. And people who work for a living view people who choose to make a living illegally as less. That's how it is."
"Why is what he does any worse than the gun stores?" I shot back. "And don't bother talking about background checks we both know are a joke. No one blames the gun store when someone takes one of those guns and shoots up a school or does a drive-by or shoots their wife dead in a drunken rage."
"Buying them illegally makes it harder for the cops to do their job," he insisted, losing steam and he knew it.
"Yes. They do a real bang-up job around here," I said with a snort. "There's a street gang in town selling Easy Lay and they aren't doing anything about it. But you know who plans to? The Henchmen. Because maybe they sell guns to people who would find them regardless, but they also have morals. They stand up for women. They don't let things get too crazy around here."
"You can't call a vigilante a hero."
"Why the hell not? I don't know what world you are living in, Colson, but the one I have been in has been a lot uglier, I guess. Do you know how many women I was housed with who were molested as kids, raped as young women, beaten by their husbands? And even if they reported it, nothing was done. Do I think it would be wrong for someone to deal with those men in a less than legal way? No. No, I don't. Vigilantes exist because the law stumbles and falls flat on its face sometimes. And no one should get away with it just because of a technicality. So, yeah, anyone who sees a wrong and rights it is a hero in my book. Whether they wear a badge or not."
Colson looked away for a long minute, putting his thoughts together, before coming back with, "I can't fucking lose you again, okay? You get that? I know you were inside and that was its own kind of hell. But it wasn't great being out here, knowing you were stuck there, knowing I couldn't protect you, couldn't help you. And it sucked that you couldn't be here. Couldn't come out with Thad and me when he finally came out, have something called a Strictly Dickly Cocktail at a gay club a couple towns over. Couldn't celebrate Christmas with us. New Years. Your birthday. That you didn't get to see Jelly as a baby, watch her turn into the sweet little hellion she is now. It sucked for you, but it sucked for us too. And I can't deal with that again. You getting involved with a criminal means there is a chance that you could get wrapped up in something and go away again."
"Fool, did you not hear that fine ass man say that he would never let her go down for his shit?" Thad asked, coming out of the bathroom with a burst of steam, rubbing oil over the top of his head and down his cheeks. It was his anti-aging miracle solution he mixed from four different oils. "My heart went pitter-patter at that shit."
"What he says and what he does are different things. I'm sure Tanner never told you he was going to let you go away for his crimes."
Tanner, I felt, was a sore spot not just because of what he had done to me. But because Colson had met him. Had been charmed by him just like everyone else. Had approved of me dating him.
The betrayal had to have hurt him as well. Filled him with guilt. He didn't want to feel that way again. He didn't want to think that his approval of a guy was a factor in why I dated them, why I may end up in prison because of them.
"I'm not asking you to approve of Ty..."
"Oh, he has a real name. Ty. I like that," Thad butted in, shameless in his eavesdropping as ever.
"But I am asking that you trust me to make my own decisions. I have no intentions of going to prison again for a guy I'm dating. Trust me."