"It's alright. Breathe," I demanded, giving her arms a squeeze. "I just checked my phone before I got in here. Your mom is fine. She has Ashley with her. She's a nurse from Hailstorm. As well as three armed guards. She couldn't be safer, okay? And I don't think she was in danger anyway. But Jacob? And, by extension, you? That, we don't know about yet. So you need to stay here until you're safe. Reign might decide to haul you up to Hailstorm. But for right now, we are on lockdown."
"I have to work, Colson. I have a mortgage and bills. And next to no savings. I have to work."
"We'll figure that out, babe, but you can't leave for right now."
"How did my life get so fucked up?" she demanded, twisting away from me, pacing the small space.
"Eva, it's going to be okay, alright? I will help you figure it all out."
"Oh, my God. I can't ask that of you. You've already done too much for me. And now with my delinquent sociopath child, I imagine that once we are let out of here, you are going to ghost the fuck out of me. And I can't even blame you. Who wants to be a part of this?"
"Okay, alright," I said, walking over toward her, grabbing her arms, pulling her down on the side of the bed with me. "That's enough of that self-pity shit," I told her, getting a snort. "First of all, you're not asking for my help. I'm offering it. Secondly, Jacob is going to be fine. And lastly, I'm still in this."
"Christ. Why?" she asked, eyes wide as she looked over at me.
"There's something here, Eva," I said, shrugging. "And I have gone a long, long time without feeling there was something between me and a woman. So I think that is worth exploring. Even if your life is a mess," I teased, nudging her with my shoulder. "Listen, from what I have seen of life, it shakes out. All the shit you are stressing about today, it isn't going to last forever. Eventually, it will work out. It works out more than it doesn't. And I get that you're in a weird place. And I understand if you want some space right now, you want to put your house back together. But when you're ready, I'm here. And I'm still interested."
"What? Do you have a chaos fetish or something?" she asked, shaking her head.
"Couldn't be further from the truth. I like safety and stability in my life."
"Right. That's why you're an arms-dealing biker."
"Well, you just got a bad crash course into what it is like when things are chaotic. But they aren't like this. It's like a job, honestly. I spend most of my time being a glorified security guard or a handyman around here. It's not as exciting as it seems right now. And it has given me and Jelly a lot of safety and stability. Believe that or not."
"So, do you have, like, a belt?" she asked, glancing over at me.
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.
"For these handyman duties? Do you have a belt? You know with wrenches and screwdrivers and hammers?" she asked, lips twitching.
I felt my own curving up. "Yeah, I got one of those."
"You know what would be really great?"
"What's that?"
"If you just randomly walked around wearing that. Saying words like 'quick-hardening caulk,' and 'drill shaft lube,' and 'self-centering screw hole locator," she said, eyes bright.
A chuckle moved through my chest. "You're good at that."
"Sexual innuendos? I'm a pro, actually," she boasted.
"I meant finding something light in heavy situations. I haven't known you long, but you've managed it pretty much every time I've been around you."
"Well, I had to have one good coping mechanism," she said, shrugging.
"To go along with all that Cosmic Brownie eating."
"I'm still waiting on my lifetime supply of that, by the way. I haven't forgotten."
"It's my top priority," I assured her.
"Sure. Right after praying for your president. And protecting your clubhouse. And exacting vengeance, and teaching my son a lesson. And saving my ass again."
"It's an ass worth saving, babe," I declared, watching as that usually so confident smile of hers went almost shy. I wanted too much to push her back on the bed, to show her that there wasn't a damn thing to be shy about. But it wasn't the time. Or the place. "Come on," I said, moving to stand, slapping a hand on her thigh, urging her up too. "Let's make sure Huck isn't letting your kid watch some raunchy shit on HBO," I said, making my way toward the door.
"Well, at least it isn't porn," I said a moment later when we walked out to see Huck and Jacob watching someone get a leg sawed off.
"Oh, look at this bullshit," Huck said, waving a hand at the screen. "Diamond teeth don't work that well. Carbide all the way for cutting off limbs like that."