And every bit of that spoke to me more than I could have anticipated.
Then having to watch him start his life over from scratch so late, busting his ass renovating the building he had gotten on a song, building a clientele, burning the candle at both ends, well, that endeared him to me all the more. The way he craved to finally set down roots, build a life.
Then, well, there was the way he played with the Mallick kids, the way I would catch him looking at them with a paternal longing, like it was one of those other things he had needed to put on a back burner for so long that he wasn't sure if it was something he could have in his life.
A similar, somewhat buried, maternal yearning in me responded, made me want to give that to him.
"That'll be great," I murmured, trying not to let myself get too disappointed by a girlish fancying that was never going to be a reality.
Besides, it would be great to walk Padfoot. Between him and Hannibal, it might almost satisfy the need to have my own dog - something my schedule simply wouldn't allow.
"You look beat," Kingston commented, dragging me out of my thoughts. His plate was scraped clean, his fork snagging bits of veggies from mine.
"I am," I admitted. "It's crazy, actually. I can work seventeen-hour days then stare at my ceiling, unable to sleep. I haven't done anything today, and I'm exhausted."
"Think maybe it's that workaholic schedule finally catching up to you now that you have some downtime. Maybe you can consider this a little vacation. Lay around, watch TV, take naps, hang out with a cute dog."
"Sounds like the perfect vacation," I agreed, feeling the weight on my eyelids.
"So go get ready for bed. I have the clean-up," he reminded me, reaching for my plate before I got a chance to object.
And because I was wholly unused to anyone doing for me, always being the one to do for everyone else, and I realized how nice it was for anyone to do something even as little as the dinner dishes, I took a quick shower, climbed into my own pajamas - silently missing Kingston's clothes on me - and climbed into bed.
Alone.
Because King had called down to me to let me know that he was going to take Padfoot for a quick walk before bed, that the lock would be set, that he would be within eyeshot the entire time.
Padfoot barreled in a while later, warming my feet as Kingston turned the water for the shower on.
"Sorry," King's voice called a few minutes later when I jerked at the sound of the door pushing open. "I just need to grab some clothes. I'll be right back out."
Everything in me knew it would be torture to my poor system, but I couldn't resist the urge to turn, finding him standing there in one of his oversized bath sheet, slung so low on his waist that I could see the cut outs of his hipbones, the perfect slopes of his muscles, that little trail of hair to the only part of him that was out of sight.
"We agreed we were going to share the bed." There was no denying the airlessness of my voice. I wondered if he heard it, if he knew the source, or if he just figured it for tiredness.
"Savvs..."
"No. Don't Savvs me, we agreed. Look," I added, patting the empty space on the other side of the bed. "There's plenty of room." I watched his back as he dug through his dresser, finding pants and a white tee. "Don't make me feel guiltier than I already do," I added, knowing it was a low blow to someone like him, with his big heart, and not caring. Because I knew that it meant he would be in the bed with me because of it.
"You have nothing to feel guilty about, sweetheart," he assured me, turning away, sliding his pants up his legs from under his towel. Unfortunately, it only fell when he had already covered all the good bits. Flipping on his shirt, he moved to the side of the bed. "But I won't fight you. That couch isn't comfortable," he added, getting under the covers, sharing my warmth. "Thank you for dinner," he said a long moment later.
"Thank you for saving my life."
Despite thinking there was no way I could fall asleep with his body so close, so easily touched, fantasies just within reach if I, well, reached, sleep pulled at my eyes until I finally drifted off, body curled as close as I could get to Kingston and his warmth without actually touching him.
And then I slept with King.
In the most literal way possible.
I guess in the future when I begged the universe for things, I had to be a hell of a lot more specific.