I stood there for a long time, lost in my own little revelation until I felt Breaker walk up behind me, slipping his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“Fuck you doin' out here?” he asked and I rested the side of my face on the side of his.
I closed my eyes tight against the discomfort I still felt at sharing my feelings, then opened them, looking out at the water.
“Realizing for the first time that I'm really happy to be alive,” I said honestly.
His arms squeezed me tight. “Oh, doll...” he said.
Then he gave me soft and sweet. Right there on the moonlit beach.“Why don't you just admit you hate the fuckin' bathing suit as much as I do?” Breaker said, sitting on the edge of our (yes... our!) bed, watching me as I slathered aloe onto the painful chafe burns under my boobs.
“Because you don't get to win that easily,” I shrugged.
“Easily? Doll, you've had burns on your tits for months. What the fuck is easy about that?”
“They're my tits,” I reminded him.
“Yeah and I'd like to get my hands on them without you wincing for a change. Buy a new suit.”
“Maybe I'll give the nude beach a try,” I said instead, giving him a wicked smile.
“You do that, you better prepare to be dragged into police custody.”
“Why?” I asked, brows drawing together.
“'Cause you do that, Al, I'm gonna be forced to fuck you silly right on that beach so everyone knows who you belong to. Which would probably get us both locked up for public ludeness.”
“Do they arrest you for public ludeness in Mexico?” I asked, still not knowing nearly enough about the place that had been our home for half a year.
“Fuck if I know. Just sayin'. You on a nude beach means you suddenly find yourself very into exhibitionism.”
I laughed, slipping a soft white sundress over my head, still smiling at him as I walked over to the bed, putting my knees on either side of his hips until I moved to straddle him, his hands going around my back.
“You know what, Bryan Breaker...” I started in a serious tone that he must have picked up on because he started shaking his head.
“Nuh-uh, doll. I got something to say first.”
“What? Um. No. I started first. I get to finish first. Not my fault you were pussy footing around.”
“Shut up and let me speak, woman,” he said, shaking his head.
“No. You're not going to pull the bossy card. I started speaking first. I finish first. Case closed.”
So yeah.
That was totally us.
Arguing over who got to talk first.
“Alex Miller,” he said, pressing his hand over my mouth, effectively shutting me up, making my eyes lower at him. “You are the biggest god damn pain in my ass. And I swear you can pick a fight with me over the sun coming up in the morning, then another one about it going down at night. But there ain't no one else in the world I'd rather fight with.”
I felt the tears stinging my eyes because I hadn't expected that. Whatever I thought he had been preparing to say, that was not it.
I didn't expect words like that from him.
And I wasn't prepared for it.
I blinked at the tears and he kept talking.
“You're smart and stubborn and determined and I've never met someone who I wanted to give soft and sweet to before you. I didn't think I had that. You brought that out of me. You showed me things about myself I didn't know were there. You gave that to me when you gave yourself to me,” he paused, his other hand moving up to swipe the flowing tears away. “I love you, doll.”
Holy hell.
I mean...
I knew it.
I had known it for months.
But I had never heard it.
And the words landed like a punch. Knocking out all my air. Making my heart speed up into dangerous levels.
A warmth spread through me, foreign, yet somehow comforting. Like it blanketed all my insides. Like it would never allow the cold in again.
“Okay. Now you can go,” Breaker said, giving me a small smile as he moved his hand away from my mouth.
“Gee... thanks,” I said, lowering my eyes at him, but my heart wasn't in the fight.
“You gonna tell me you love me or keep trying to fight with me?” he asked, lips twitching. He knew me too well.
“I'll fight with you later,” I promised, cradling his face in my hands, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips before pulling back and looking into his eyes. “Right now... I need to tell you, Mr. Macho Man Badass Bryan Breaker...” I started and his eyes warmed. “That night you stormed into my apartment, pointing your gun at me...” I reminded him and he shook his head at the memory, but he was smiling, “that was the first day of my life. There was nothing before that. Not really. That day was the day I started living. And I'm pretty sure it was also the day I started loving you.” His eyes closed, staying that way as he took a deep breath before looking at me again. “I love you,” I finished, throwing my arms around his neck.
There was a slow clap coming from behind us and we both swiveled our necks to see Shooter standing in the doorway, eyes soft, huge smile on his face. “About fucking time,” he said, nodding at us. “Didn't mean to interrupt. But I wanted to stop by and tell you guys that I am heading back.”
“Back?” Breaker said, stiffening in my arms.
“Yeah. It's time. Things have calmed down. No one has heard from Lex. Evidence points to him being dead. His empire is gone. It's time.”
He was right.
I looked down at Breaker and saw the same realization there.
We had a nice vacation. Cocooning ourselves away. But it was time to go back. Not just for Shooter. For all of us.
I nodded at him. “Good. Get things settled. We'll be following soon too,” I supplied and Breaker squeezed me tight.