She took a couple slow, deep breaths and looked up at me slowly. "Three."
"I'm sorry?" I asked, stroking a hand down her spine, feeling my cock stiffen slightly when she shivered at my touch.
"Three years."
"I'm gonna need more than that, honey."
"That's how long it's been. Since I've... you know."
"Been fucked?" I supplied, giving her a huge smile when she actually fucking blushed. "Like that you're sweet and everything, Dusty, but you're going to be constantly red in the face if the word 'fucking' makes you uncomfortable."
"It's not the word," she objected, giving me a strange smile I couldn't quite interpret.
"What then? The time?" I asked and her gaze dropped for a second before coming back up. So that was it. "I didn't figure you'd been having a ton of guys over to sleep with, Dusty. I knew it had been a while."
"A while is like... eight months, a year at the most..."
"By whose standard? Everyone fucks differently. Some will take home whoever the hell smiles at them and tells them they're hot. Others need to be in love. Some don't do it at all until they marry. What the fuck does it matter how long it's been? Because if this is some insecurity thing? Like maybe you think you're out of practice or some shit like that," I said, watching as she went redder. That was exactly it. Of all the asinine things. But that was what her anxiety did- it made mountains out of molehills. "Then let me go ahead and get this out of the way and ease your mind a bit."
"Ryan, no. It's fine..." she said, shaking her head.
"Nope. It's not fine. I got a woman in bed with me that I was just inside a couple minutes ago and she thinks she was somehow disappointing. That shit will never be fine. Look at me," I demanded, my voice a little more firm than usual, but she still didn't raise her eyes. I reached out and snagged her chin, dragging it up. "You're not out of practice. And you sure as fuck are not a disappointment. In fact, what we just had right here, that was the best I've ever had. And not just because the way you scream my name makes it hard not to come right then and there or that you have the sweetest pussy I've ever tasted, but because it meant something, okay? That meant something. So don't be going and tearing it down and making it ugly or something to be worried about. Okay? Dusty?"
She blinked hard a few times, trying to make the glistening I saw there go away before turning her face and kissing my hand. "Okay."
"So that's settled. Back to the original question. You want kids?"
She gave me a small smile at that. "Yes. I want kids."
"One or a litter?"
To that, she laughed. "As an only child who had very few friends growing up, I would want my kids to have siblings so they could always have a buddy around."
"Sounds like a good plan. So, not to kill the less tense mood we got going on right now. But I figure we need to get this out of the way. What's going on in your head about my job?"
She went thoughtful at that. "I know I'm supposed to be freaked about it..."
"But?"
"But, you've been nothing but good to me. Your brothers have been good to me. You're the first person I have come across in a long time who doesn't make me anxious. I think the good is outweighing the bad right now."
"I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into here."
"I understand the situation," she said, giving me a small nod.
"And you know it's not going to change," I pressed.
To that, she laughed a little. "I'm a big girl, Ryan. I have long ago figured out that you can't change people or situations. You have to take them as they are. And in you're case, I'd be happy to."
Oh, shit.
I knew right then and there that I was in trouble, that things had gotten serious. Because hearing her say she would be happy to take me as I was, yeah, there was a feeling in my chest that, while I hadn't experienced it before, I knew it for what it was.
"What's that look for?" she asked, head tipped to the side, watching me.
"What look?"
"You look... anxious," she said with a smile. "I know that look intimately. And you have it." Then her face fell a little. "Was that, um, too much? I mean, I can..."
"Shush," I said, reaching up and putting a finger to her lips. "It wasn't too much. It's just... new for me."
"Yeah, well, your apartment does seem to suggest that a woman hasn't stayed in it for more than a night or two."