Torch (Unbreakable Bonds 3)

“Why drop by now?”

Noah frowned as he got back to his feet, turning to face Rowe fully. “You really want to do the twenty questions before you have your first cup of coffee?”

“I’m not particularly looking forward to it, coffee or not,” Rowe grumbled.

“Which part? Asking questions or supplying the answers?”

Rowe snorted, reaching behind his back for the doorknob. He was less than thrilled about the prospect of talking about Mel’s death and what life was like without her constant shining presence.

He slipped back into the kitchen with Noah following behind him. The dogs were content to lounge in the yard a while longer. Rowe texted Andrei that he’d be in the office late and then fixed a mug of coffee. Noah was right behind him, freshening his cup before sitting down at the dinette.

“I left the Army,” Noah admitted as soon as Rowe’s butt touched the chair. Rowe held his mug with both hands, but didn’t drink it. He stared at his friend, seeing him a little more clearly in the daylight. He looked less exhausted and beaten than he had the night before, but there was something worn about him that pissed Rowe off. The Noah Keegan he’d known then was a source of boundless energy and optimism. It was more than time that had dulled that vigor.

But even with the passage of thirteen years, he had to admit that the added age agreed with him. His boyish good looks had smoothed into a quiet strength and dignity. There were flecks of gray in the short beard that lined his jaw and chin, giving him a slightly more distinguished appearance. But he still had those damn bedroom eyes that had earned him endless offers from both men and women when they were out. And for all Rowe knew, those offers had been turned down with a sweet but gentle smile.

“Why?”

A little smirk twisted Noah’s lips, his eyes locked on the travel mug in front of him. “Lost my love for it. It had become a job and not one that I enjoyed…not for a long time. And then I woke up on my birthday last year and realized that I would have completely forgotten it if it hadn’t been for that disgusting video greeting that you sent.”

Rowe chuckled at the memory. It had been particularly raunchy last year.

“And I realized that you were the only person left who gave a shit about me.” Noah paused, lifting his gaze to Rowe. “It’s not like I ever planned on the marriage, house, kids thing, but I thought I’d have friends who cared and a life where I saw them frequently. I thought I’d be able to bullshit about work and catch the game on Sunday. Maybe a few less bullets and a few more laughs. But I couldn’t do any of that stuck as a Ranger, moving from war zone to war zone. Who’d want a life like that with me? I got out, traveled around for several months, tried to figure out what the fuck to do with myself, then came here.”

He tried not to stare at Noah as he spoke, but Rowe realized that he wasn’t seeing fatigue brought on from days of travel, but that Noah was eaten from the inside out with years of weariness that came from a lack of joy and purpose in his life. Rowe swallowed back a knot of guilt. If he hadn’t gotten shot, he’d have been there for Noah, helped him when he got lost. Hell, he should have known something was wrong, reached out to him sooner. But he hadn’t. There was nothing to be gained from dwelling on what he should have done. He was with Noah now.

“What’s next?”

Noah shrugged and took a big gulp of coffee. “Not exactly sure. I just thought I’d go back to the last person I knew who gave a shit and try to figure it out from there. The only thing I do know is that I want to build a life that isn’t based on secrets and lies.” Noah frowned and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something then closed it again. Sliding to the edge of his chair, he pinned Rowe with his piercing blue gaze. “Look, I know I just kind of dropped in on you and I’m sorry. I wasn’t planning to stay long…I just—”

Rowe reached across the small table and wrapped his fingers around Noah’s forearm. “You’re welcome here as long as you want.”

“Thanks.”

Releasing Noah, Rowe took a drink of his coffee, trying to fight off the chill that was still biting at his arms after being outside. “Well, you might not be so grateful after a bit.”

“I think I can put up with you and a few dogs.”

Rowe frowned. He had to tell Noah, particularly if his life was going to be in danger while in his house.