Noah bent over Ian’s knee. “Rowe, why don’t you jump on the laptop and see if Quinn is still up. You know he keeps odd online hours.”
“That’s a good idea.” Rowe reached out and hugged Ian then disappeared fast down the hall.
Noah had known his man needed a moment alone, and he’d given him the perfect reason to have one while also doing something constructive. He really was perfect for the rowdy, volatile redhead.
Rowe popped back a short time later with news that Quinn was indeed online and he’d agreed to start working on the ghost town location. With two glasses of whiskey in his belly, the throbbing in Hollis’s foot barely had time to start and stop. As they separated for the rest of the night, Hollis wasn’t sure which room to go into, but after Ian brushed his teeth, he took Hollis’s hand and tugged him into the room Hollis had been using. He shut the door behind him.
Hollis stood next to the bed.
Fuck, he was so afraid to touch Ian. His hands curled into fists at his sides. He knew he should go into the other room—maybe sleep in Ian’s bed. He shouldn’t want to lay Ian down in this one and make love to him. He just wanted to feel him safe against his body, be inside him and around him, and it made him feel like a selfish prick. But he was torn because leaving him alone to face the rest of the night seemed wrong, too. He could bring in some blankets. Sleep on the floor between the bed and the door. He’d know for sure if Ian started sleep crawling again that way.
“Hollis.” Ian’s voice was quiet but firm as he reached up to frame Hollis’s face with his hands. Hollis could feel the two bandage strips on his palms.
“I can feel your tension like crazy and can only imagine what’s going through your mind right now.” Ian stroked his thumb over Hollis’s lips. “What I shared tonight changes nothing that’s been happening between us. I’m sorry about last night. I was…humiliated. I’ve worked hard to get past my…past.” He smiled. “To have this thing happening while I’m asleep—it makes me feel helpless and I hate it. But when it comes to sex, I love it. I love sex. And you’re the first man who has made me feel safe enough to embrace it fully again.”
“But maybe right now, you need to…I don’t know…deal with those memories? Damn, Ian, just my imagination is killing me right now so I can’t even begin to fathom—”
Ian put a hand over his mouth. “Did you hear me? You’ve changed things for me. You don’t make me feel scared or worried. I trust you.” He moved his hand back to Hollis’s cheek. “I really am more together than I’m coming off here. We’re pulling up old memories, that’s all. I’ll be fine.”
“You said I’m the first to make you feel that way. What if there are others—”
And the hand came back over his mouth. “I don’t want others. It’s possible I will never want others. Do you understand what I’m saying? I want what all my friends have found and no, don’t think I’m jumping into a relationship with you so I can have that.” He ran his hands down Hollis’s neck, his shoulders, his arms. He grasped Hollis’s wrists and pulled them around him, stepping in close. He bent his head back and Hollis started to feel lost in those big, brown eyes. “Whatever this is between us isn’t only about safety and it isn’t only about sex. I want to be with you, know everything about you. I want to hear stories about your family, your childhood. Your first time with a boy.” He smiled. “I want to sleep on top of you, smell your skin, and take your breath into my lungs. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and I want more.”
Hollis closed his eyes and swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. “You’re killing me,” he whispered.
“I think maybe I’m loving you.”
Hollis’s eyes flew open.
“Yeah, I know. It’s soon.”
“It’s not. It’s been over a year.”
Ian’s laugh was rusty—probably from his being sick earlier. “I’ve been intrigued by you for over a year and just knowing you’d put yourself into danger because of me, let me know you’re a man worth keeping. The kiss in my office showed me that more. And since we’ve been here?” Ian’s grin was white in the moonlight. “The sex is superior and we haven’t even begun to explore how good we are at that.” He wrapped his arms around Hollis, pressed his palms to his back. “There is a dirty, dirty boy in me dying to experiment.”
Hollis kept staring down at him, still not sure it was cool that he again had a raging hard-on. He couldn’t stop them—not when Ian was anywhere in his vicinity.