“All right. I just wanted to say goodnight.” I grind my jaw, trying my best not to cry.
“Okay, goodnight. I’ll try to talk to you tomorrow night. Right now is just bad timing. You should really be sleeping by now.”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “You’re right. I am pretty tired. Talk to you later.”
Pulling the phone away from my ear, I hit the end button and curl myself into Cale’s nice warm blankets. What I wouldn’t give to be wrapped up in someone’s arms right now. I make myself sick just for wanting it. I just really need an escape from myself right now.
What a shitty night.
Chapter Five
Slade
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I run my hands over my face and close my eyes. I didn’t sleep for shit as usual and I have a headache from hell. I’ve been sitting here, awake for the last two hours, but I can’t seem to bring myself to move from this spot. It’s eating at me deep today. The pain; it’s f**king killing me. Some days are harder than others and I really need to work to get my shit in check.
I let out a deep breath and slip on a pair of my boxer briefs before making my way down the hallway and downstairs. The house is still dark and I can hear Cale snoring from the couch. I’m not surprised, because I’m always the first one up. Like I said, I’m not much of a sleeper. It’s the one thing that comes difficult for me.
After slamming back a glass of water, I slip into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I stand there, staring at my reflection in the small, darkened room. The only light shining through is from the small beam coming from the slightly parted shades. It’s just enough lighting to let my eyes fall on the scar across my cheekbone. It’s not very big.
Fuck, it should be bigger.
Placing my hands in front of me, I grip the sink and lean over it. I feel my breathing pick up as the emotions swarm through me; awakening the madness that I keep buried deep. I have an urge to put my fist through this mirror to stop the pain, but I won’t. My hands are already scarred up enough. Anger and rage only douse the pain, but doesn’t stop it.
I get distracted when I hear a noise coming from the hallway and then the bathroom door is pushed open. I slowly tilt my head to the side to see Aspen standing there in only a T-shirt.
Shit. She is f**king sexy.
She takes a step back when she notices the look on my face. I would too. I’m a monster. The concern in her eyes makes my heart skip a beat and I have no idea why. She doesn’t even know me, but she’s looking at me as if I’m transparent; seeing straight through to my damaged soul. I don’t like it one bit.
“I’m sorry.” She pulls her eyes away from mine and tugs on the hem of her T-shirt, causing my eyes to trail down her legs and my grip on the sink tightens. “I didn’t realize anyone was in here. It was dark and the door wasn’t shut all the way.”
Pushing away from the sink, I get my emotions in check and walk toward the door. If I wasn’t feeling like shit, I would hit on her right now and tell her all the things I want to do to that beautiful body. I should, but I can’t. I’ve let my inner thoughts take over and pull me down; remind me of the piece of shit that I really am. I know it, everyone else knows it and I’ve accepted it.
“It’s cool. I was just going to take a shower, but I’ll let you have it first.” I wait for a response. When she doesn’t say anything, I stand and turn, now standing in front of her. I grip onto the top of the doorframe and look her in the eyes. I can’t tell which one I like more; the blue one or the deep green one. They’re stunning. “It’s all yours if you want it.”
Her eyes dart down to my chest and she swallows before shaking her head and turning away. “It’s fine. I can wait. I was just going to take a quick shower and see if Cale would run me to Kayla’s. It’s not a big deal. He’s still sleeping anyways. I’ll just go and let you-”
“I’ll take you,” I say, stopping her mid-sentence while gripping the doorframe tighter. “I have to go to the club here in a bit anyways. I’m filling in for Sarah behind the bar for a few hours.”
She looks a bit surprised and not sure if she wants to take me up on the offer. That bothers me for some reason yet I don’t know why. “It’s fine. You don’t have to. I’ll just wait. You were already in here anyways.”
Releasing the doorframe, I take a step closer and slowly run my hands down her sides, tracing every curve through the thin material. Fuck, she feels so good. My hands stop amidst her hips and I squeeze, pulling her body to press against mine. My c**k hardens against her stomach and she sucks in a deep breath, but doesn’t pull away. A part of her wants this and the more I look at her, the more I f**king want her; a distraction. Fucked up or not, I can’t deny that I need this f**king distraction, addiction, necessity or whatever else you may want to call it. I’ve gotten used to the harsh judgments of my lifestyle.
“We can take a shower together.” I brush my lips over her neck and whisper, “I can dirty you with my body and then clean you with my tongue.”
She tilts her neck and allows me to run my tongue up it as if that’s the pass code to her arousal. She likes it. I can tell by her soft moans. “Have you thought about what my c**k will feel like inside you?” I suck in her earlobe and bring my hands down to cup her ass. It’s the perfect fit. “I want to f**k you. I want you to know what it feels like to have me deep.” I lick my lips and breathe into her ear. “Inside you.”
Her chest pushes out as she takes a deep breath. “I don’t even know you.” She places her hands on my chest and backs away. “Plus, I don’t like you. Now, if you don’t mind. One of us has to take a shower first. You or me? Pick one.”
She presses her legs together and I can tell she’s trying to hide that I have her pu**y aching for my touch. She’s wet and ready for me. I don’t have to check; I just know. That’s okay ‘cause my c**k wants it just as much.
Enjoying watching her squirm, I smile and lean into the doorframe. “I’m going to take care of that for you.”
Her eyes watch mine as I look down at her black panties that are barely peeking out from under what I assume is one of Cale’s old shirts. For some reason, the thought of stripping her out of another man’s shirt turns me on; gives me a rush knowing I can.