This Regret

I cover the paper with my hand and then shove it into my pocket. “You’re such a distraction. Doesn’t your wife ever wonder where you are?” I turn around to grab him a bottle of beer before twisting the top off and setting it down in front of him. “Plus, aren’t you too old to be here every day? All of this drinking is going to make you croak on me.” I slap his fluffy chest and smirk. “Then what would I do?”

He pulls his hat off his balding head and places it over his knee. “You’re shitting me, right? That old broad can hardly remember her own name. What makes you think she can remember me?” He sips on his beer and slaps his round belly. “I won’t be croaking anytime soon and I won’t be stopping until this baby has had enough.”

“Ah ha. I see.” I turn to walk away so I can get back to concentrating on making my list. “Now I see why no one else will serve you.” I flash him a hard look and point at him. “You’re what people call an old, angry fart.”

He tilts his beer back and smiles as he presses it against his lips, the bottle almost getting lost in his crazy beard. “Just get back to work,” he growls.

I lean against the bar, wave my arm at Martin and study what I have of the short list so far. Two . . .

I jump when I feel Kade’s hand wrap around my waist and pull me against the firmness of his body.

“You didn’t think I forgot about our kiss, did you?” He presses his face into my neck before running the fullness of his lips under my chin, his warm breath giving me chills. “I would like to do a lot more to you than that.” His husky voice is full of want, making it hard to concentrate.

I lean my neck back and moan getting lost in the moment. Then realization of the situation sets in, causing me to jerk my neck away. I open my eyes to see Martin watching us and I have to fight myself to shake off the pleasure that Kade’s touch is bringing.

Before I can let myself further enjoy the feel of his touch, I wriggle my way out of his grip and turn around to face him. I need to be tougher and keep my head on straight. “We have a lot of work to do, Kade.”

My eyes focus on the hardness in his jeans before his hand pushes down on it and he runs his tongue over his lips. “You like to torture me. You have been doing it for years.” He smiles and reaches for a towel. “Okay. Let’s get to work then. We’ll play some more later.” He winks.

I swallow hard as I watch him take control of the bar. Then, I lean in and speak next to his ear to be sure he can hear me over the soft music. “I would take it easy if I were you, buddy. No one said we were doing anything later.”

He smiles as if he thinks I’m only joking. “My place or yours?” He pushes a beer across the bar top and some guy reaches out to catch it. “I’m not letting you get away so easily.”

I have a feeling that you won’t. I’m guessing that’s not a good thing either.

Chapter Two

Kellan

The tattoo gun buzzes beneath my fingertips, giving me a sensation unlike anything else can bring. I run the tip of the gun along the smooth lines of the angel I drew up just less than an hour ago; its wings wrapping around my forearm and the angel in a crouching position, weeping. One arm rests on her forehead, while the other one rests on the ground beside her. The ground that is threatening to fall from beneath her and crumble her world to pieces. A feeling that has haunted me for years.

At the moment, I just need a distraction and the feel of the needle in my hand always takes my mind away from things, but the feel of the needle digging in my flesh, is even better, making me feel more alive, giving me the breath, I cannot seem to catch.

I can feel Tyler’s presence even before he opens his mouth to speak. Not to mention the fact he’s chewing with his mouth open, leaving trails of crumbs forming on the ground by my foot breaking my concentration. Nothing new there.

“What’s up, man?” He watches me intently while pulling his beanie off and shaking his hands through his shoulder length hair. “Having another bad day?”

I hold the tattoo gun out in front of me and nod my head, showing him, that once again, he is right. He’s figured me out pretty well in the last six months and I only have myself to blame for that. “I guess you can say that.”

He takes a seat in his worn out leather chair, spins it around a few times and then twirls back around to face me. “You’re going to run out of room someday, then what?” He shoves the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and quickly chews before speaking again. “You need to find another distraction, my man.”

I shrug my shoulders before tilting my head up so I can see him. “I have other distractions.”

He runs his arm over his mouth and leans forward in his chair, his arms out in front of him. “Oh yeah? Like what?” he challenges.

I set the tattoo gun down on the tray beside me, and pull off my rubber gloves, before looking over at him. “Just stuff . . .” I flip my arms over, looking for an empty spot in between the various tattoos that cover both of my arms. I point at the tiny space right by my left armpit. “I guess I’ll have a little bit of time to figure out what else.”

He’s silent for a moment as his eyes study me, looking as if he’s got something more to say.

“What was that call about earlier?” he finally asks.

The thought of it causes my blood to boil and I have to fight the urge to throw something across the shop. “It was nothing important,” I say, my voice as steady as I can keep it. “It was just . . . someone from my past.”

I look up, my jaw clenched, before pushing the drawer to my desk closed and looking up to face Tyler, neither one of us speaking. I have nothing more to say about it.

The neon Open sign on the door flickers, catching both of our attention for a moment, before finally staying lit.

“Where did you buy that shitty sign from again?” I question trying to change the subject. “That thing’s been pissing me off. I’m about ten seconds away from breaking it.”

Tyler looks my way and nods his head, before walking over to take a seat in the stool in front of me. “From that crappy little pawnshop down the street.” He twirls his keys around his finger, the familiar sound working me back up, causing my heart to pound heavily in my chest. “So you’ve told everyone that you’re back, then?”

I look away and run my hand through my hair, pushing the old thought from my mind. I really don’t care to discuss the subject and I wish I could forget about it all together. “Nah. It’s been a long time.” I pause to swallow, trying to keep my cool. “Trust me, no one is looking for me. If I see them, I see them.”