This Regret

Clearly knowing her intentions, usually this would be where I take her somewhere private, remind her it's just sex and nothing more, then f**k her senseless. She’s not so lucky today. I have too much on my mind. Particularly, the girl to the left, dressed in that short, gray cotton dress. She has always had beautiful legs.

I watch as Phoenix stands up and grabs her plate before walking away, leaving my brother alone.

“Yeah, well it's a bad addiction. You should consider quitting." I brush past her. “If you will excuse me, Luna, I have words for my brother.”

I admit my actions were probably a little rude, but right now, I have my radar set on a certain someone. This conversation is happening whether he likes it or not.

I stride across the grass, my aim set on Kade, avoiding everything else around me. As soon as he notices my approach, he leans his head back and looks up, no doubt not happy to see me.

“What do you want, Kellan?” He motions around the empty picnic table, without bothering to look at me. “Can’t you see I’m busy here, trying to avoid you?”

I lean against the edge of the picnic table, cross my arms over my chest, and look down at him. “What’s going on with you and Phoenix?”

It's probably not the greatest way to start this conversation, but it will do. I might not get a chance to ask later.

He stops picking at the tablecloth and looks at me. “Are you serious? You came all the way over here to ask about Phoenix? You’ve been gone for eight years, eight f**king years Kellan and that’s the first thing you decide to talk to me about.” He laughs sarcastically. “You really have a lot of balls showing up here of all places." He motions around him, waving his arm at the various people having fun with their family and friends, "For everyone in town here to see you break mom's heart again. Cut the crap, you don't have to play games with me. Stop acting as if you plan on sticking around.” He studies my face, waiting for an answer. “You don’t, after all. Do you?”

A flood of emotions swarms through me and in this moment, I don’t know how to answer. How can I explain my f**ked up life? I can’t, so I don’t answer at all.

He snorts and stands, pushing my chest. “Just as I expected.” He pushes past me to walk away. “Oh yeah, and to answer your question," he pauses, standing there

stiff, but doesn’t look back. “We're f**king. See ya, bro.” He waves a dismissive hand at me and walks away.

That son of a . . .

Rage courses through my veins, my muscles tighten, and suddenly I want to hit something. I grip the edge of the picnic table, pick it up and slam it into the ground, before taking off in search of a much-needed beer. I’m going to end up choking someone today.

* * *

After saying goodbye to my parents and watching Kade speed off in his truck, I notice Phoenix by herself, packing something into the trunk of her little car. Most of the party has already cleared out and the only ones that seem to be left are Phoenix, Jen and myself. It almost seems as if she’s lingering around, trying to avoid something, or maybe someone. Who knows? She probably has plans to meet up with Kade when she leaves and the thought of that does not leave me happy.

I make my way over to my bike and lean against it, watching her from across the lot. She doesn’t seem to notice I'm still here, so I figure it won’t hurt to watch her and make sure she gets out of here safe. It’s starting to get dark now and who knows what kind of creeps linger around parks at night.

She gives Jen a hug and waves her off as she jumps into a Jeep and the driver speeds off, barely even giving her time to close the door. She leans against her car and places her face against the window, looking distressed before opening the door and getting inside.

I wait for the car to start but it never does.

Moments later, I hear her cursing loudly, slamming her hands against the steering wheel.

If she’s looking for someone to rescue her, then today might just be her lucky day.

Phoenix

__________

After watching Nathan speed off with Jen in the Jeep, I definitely got a feeling in my stomach I don’t like. His behavior has been way more off than usual and it’s driving me crazy. Every time I ask her about it, she just says he’ s stressed out from work and is just having a hard time handling it. I guess that could be the problem. I can only hope that is the only thing going on.

Now, I’m supposed to go home, freshen up and meet at Kade’s place in thirty minutes. Usually, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but after all of our flirting and kissing, this is definitely becoming more complicated than I’d hoped.

Cursing aloud, I slap my hand against the steering wheel to let out all of the frustration I have been keeping in for the last couple of days. I slap it repeatedly while leaning into the back of my seat. “Shit! Shit! I hate this.”

First, my parents start going all crazy. They're constantly leaving Zoe at my house to look after. Kade just had to make a move on me, causing me to question my feelings for him and now Kellan showing back up out of nowhere. Along with his return, bringing back all of the old feelings I had for him, but had never returned in the past. Maybe it was because he was too old back then or because I was his best friend’s little sister, but eventually I would’ve been old enough to make my move and hope he felt the same way. Because of his disappearance, I never got that chance and it crushes me to even think about the what ifs.

I’m sitting here, finally starting to calm down. Breathing out my frustration, out of nowhere, someone knocks on the window, startling me and causing me to scream. “Oh crap!”

I look up to see Kellan standing there with a smirk on his face, looking sexy and calm, with his knuckle pressed against the window.

I hadn’t even realized he was still around. I had just assumed he left after saying goodbye to his parents. Clearly, my brain's not functioning right at the moment, or else I would’ve noticed. How could I not?

Rolling down the window, I reach up with my other hand to brush my sweaty hair out of my face. “Kellan, I thought you were gone.”

He leans into the window and brushes away a piece of my hair stuck to my lip. “Nah, I was about to leave until I saw you. I just wanted to be sure you got out of here safe.”

I turn my head away embarrassed. Out of all the people that should be worried about my safety, it would be Kellan.

“Is something wrong with your car,” he questions.