This Regret

We’re both silent until Kellan is completely out of sight.

Then Kade turns to me and lowers his head, looking me in the eye. “So, you were with Kellan of all people?”

I reach out to touch his arm, feeling guilty. It’s not like anything happened with Kellan and it’s not like Kade and I are even dating. Somehow, I still feel like crap. We’re supposed to be friends.

“I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”

It was an honest answer, at least. Being with Kellan had made me forget everything. Almost.

He pushes away from my car and looks down at his phone. “Well, I was hoping to hang out tonight and maybe watch a movie like old times, but . . . “He holds his phone up. “Now, I have somewhere I have to be.”

He turns to walk away, but then stops. “Maybe we can continue this tomorrow. I’ve wanted to get you alone. It just seems like something or someone always seems to come up. ”

Leaning against my car, I reach for my purse to realize it isn’t there and that Kellan still has my keys. “Dammit!”

Kade stops and turns around. “What's wrong?”

I place my hand to my head and laugh, embarrassed. “Kellan has my keys. I left my purse hanging on his bike.”

Kade laughs before reaching into his pocket. “It’s a good thing I have another copy of your house key.” He holds a set of keys out and nods his head for me to join him. “I’ll take you home. We’ll work on getting your keys and purse back tomorrow, since no one seems to have Kellan’s number.”

“You sneaky dick," I grumble. “Just how many keys do you have?” He doesn’t answer so I follow him to his truck and hop in. “I ’m sorry, I really didn't mean to forget.”

He brushes his hand over my thigh and bites his bottom lip. Even though it still confuses me, I get butterflies from his touch. “I know. It’s hard to believe you would ditch me on purpose. You’re too good for that.”

“Right,” I say, not knowing if he means for blowing him off or for Kellan.

“Thanks again.” He closes the door and I lean into the seat just wanting to disappear. I feel horrible.

Chapter Nine

Phoenix

After Kade interrogated me, then dropped me off last night, I spent the whole night tossing and turning, not able to get Kellan off my mind. There are so many things I don’t understand and as much as I want to know the answers, I can’t bring myself to ask the questions. That will always be a problem when it comes to Kellan. He’s the only one that has ever made me nervous when it comes to feeling someone out to see what's on their mind. That’s exactly why I never told him years ago that I had the biggest crush on him. Also being the reason why I spent most of my time following him and Adric around. I was a love-struck teenager hoping to be swept away by my prince charming, even if he was too old and always had girlfriends that looked like Barbie. He’s always been gorgeous, so of course, why would he settle for less?

It still breaks my heart to think about those days, but I refuse to get stuck in the past again. That point, is exactly why I must move on and try to forget about the way being around him makes me feel. It’s amazing the way he can still take my breath away, with one look into those eyes and a flash of that dimpled smile. It scares me, though. That’s exactly the reason that as soon as I get my purse, phone and keys back, I’m going to stay as far away from him as possible. He obviously has a new life, and well, so do I.

I spent the whole afternoon pacing around my apartment, pretending to listen to my mother talk about her problems, but to be honest, I was thinking of all of the different ways to show up at the tattoo shop to retrieve my things. I had so many different scenarios in my head and different conversations planned out, that in the end, I decided to just let Kade deal with it. He said he would, but I have yet to hear from him.

It was a struggle to not just show up and demand for answers along with my things, so I put up a huge fight, until finally, it was time to leave for work. The good thing about that is, I’m stuck here now. Stuck working and stuck without my car. So, as far as I’m concerned, I’ve managed to make it through the day and keep my sanity as well. Now, it’s just a matter of making it through my shift.

“Excuse me.”

“Ma’am.”

“Ma’am.”

“I’m sorry, excuse me?” Looking up from the bar, I realize I’ve spent the last twenty minutes scrubbing the same spot and ignoring everything else around me. Maybe I didn’t manage to keep my sanity, after all.

A good looking guy in about his mid-twenties, short blond hair and a brown plaid shirt stares back at me from the other side of the bar. A smile pulls up on his thin lips as he leans over the bar and pulls out a stack of money. “If you’re done daydreaming, then I would like another drink please.”

Shaking myself back to reality, I quickly drop the towel and scurry over to grab a fresh glass. “Yeah sure, sorry.” Placing it down beside me, I scoop it full with ice and grab for our top shelf Whiskey. This guy has been spending tons of money on himself and his friends tonight. If I want to make enough tips to pay my rent on time, then I need to get my head in the game.

Pouring a little extra Whiskey into the glass to make up for my absence, I top it off with coke and place it down in front of him. “Sorry about that,” I apologize again, this time with a smile. “Next time just throw something at me. I’m a little off my game tonight.” We both laugh as I set his dirty glass into the sink.

His eyes look me over, stopping on my br**sts, while he stirs his drink with his straw. Somehow, that makes me regret wearing this tiny white tank top. Men like this is exactly why we need company t-shirts made. The look in his eye does nothing but make me feel dirty. “I don’t see how your game can ever be off, sweetheart.” He opens his wad of money and pulls out a twenty-dollar bill. He holds it out in front of me, waving it in my face, before slapping it down onto the bar top. “Keep the change, babe. I’ve been enjoying the view.”

Reaching for the money, I look up to see his friends looking my direction, laughing as he slowly backs away, staring at my br**sts. For some reason, this pisses me off. Hasn’t this moron ever seen boobs before? I don’t really see anything funny. Damn rich pricks just wanting to cause a scene.

About thirty minutes later, the business picks up, kicking my ass. I’m running around like crazy, barely even getting a minute to breathe. That’s when I realize Saline is over twenty minutes late for her shift. I should have known that tonight of all nights, she would be a pain and not show up.