This Regret

He walks over to stand next to me and stretches before reaching for my pistol. “It’s kind of hard to sleep through gunfire. Especially when you know the one firing the gun is so hot.” Without giving it too much thought, he turns and aims at the fourth can, shattering it on the first try, before aiming it at the last one, taking that down as well. “Man, that does feel good. It’s been a while since I’ve been out here.” He puts on the safety before shoving the pistol into the front of his pajamas, bringing my attention down to notice there’s no way he’s wearing any boxers under those things. The package is nice and visible, the whole shape of his penis pressing against the thin fabric, swaying whenever he moves. A certain excitement courses through me, making me feel dirty. “You look sexy as hell right now and all I can think about is trailing kisses over every inch of your body,” he says softly, his eyes focusing on my legs, then my br**sts.

My body stiffens and my breath comes out heavily from his words. As much as my mind won’t stay off Kellan, there’s still a part of my body that reacts to Kade.

Shit! This can’t be a good thing. Now I feel like some kind of slut even though I’m not sleeping with either. Hell, I’ve only kissed Kade, not Kellan and I probably will never get the chance anyway.

“Yeah, well I’m pretty sweaty at the moment. I doubt you want that all over your lips,” I say nervously.

He takes a step closer so his body is brushing against mine. “I’m sure everything on your body taste good.” He leans in pressing his nose into my neck, breathing slowly. “Even your sweat.” His arms wrap around my waist, before reaching down to caress my ass. “Why don’t you come to the pool house so we can play around a little and then get some more sleep. It’s early, but there are so many things I want to do to that sexy little body of yours, just not out here in the open.”

What fun is there in that? If I were to agree to have sex with Kade, then this would be the kind of place I’d want to do it. As dirty as it sounds, doing it out in the open has always been a fantasy of mine and extremely turns me on. I place my hands against his chest. “I’m really not up to it, Kade. I’m really stressed out at the moment. I just wanted a little alone time to blow off some steam.”

He presses his forehead to mine before speaking. “I can help you blow off some steam. I’m pretty good with that.” His lips crush mine, sucking and tugging on my bottom lip, begging for entrance as his hand snakes around my thigh, searching its way up my shorts.

I let myself get lost in the moment for a few seconds before his finger slips under my panties, running over the wetness that I hadn’t even realized was there. Clearly, my body wants him but nothing about this moment feels right. It’s all too confusing, this is the furthest he’s gotten to slipping a finger in me, and I’m not sure that it’s right. I wriggle my way out of his grip, claiming my lips back as well. “Kellan, not now,” I breathe.

The look on his face is almost as if I just slapped him. He huffs before running a hand through his curls and taking a step back. “Is that what’s been going on?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask a little confused. Is he really that upset I don’t want to make out with him right now? That’s pretty shitty.

He snickers while shaking his head and pursing his lips. “You really have no idea what you just called me do you?”

I lift an eyebrow, getting frustrated with his attitude. “Well, I’m going to say your name. I don’t remember me calling you anything else or anything bad for that matter. What is your deal, Kade?”

“Ah . . . now you get my name right, Luna.” He smiles and pulls my pistol out of the waistband of his pants. “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant Phoenix. How does it feel?” He holds out the pistol for me to grab it. “You’ve always had a thing for my brother. It was pretty clear back then and pretty clear right now.”

Reaching for my pistol, I lean my head back and exhale. I can’t believe I slipped and called him Kellan. This day is definitely not going much better than it was a couple of hours ago. “I’m sorry, Kade. Like I said, I have a lot on my mind. Of course, your brother is one of those things. He just showed back up after eight years. It’s kind of hard not to think about it, or why he left in the first place. You can’t be mad about that.”

He laughs as if I’ve missed something. “It’s pretty easy to see why he left. He took the easy way out so he wouldn’t have to deal with the both of us or people talking about Adric’s death over the next years in this crappy little town. It was his escape. Can’t you see that? He’s no good. I have no respect for him. He doesn’t care about us and probably never has. I gave up on him a few years after he left.” He stops to look me in the eye. “Maybe you should finally give up and open your pretty little eyes. If he wanted you, then he would’ve stuck around back then. I’m going back to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow for my father’s Fourth of July Party. That’s if you’re actually coming this year.”

My heart twists up into a painful ball of nerves at the mention of that day. Tomorrow will mark eight years since Adric passed. Eight long, painful years. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

My parents and I were heading home from the fireworks and I was furious that Adric and Kellan hadn’t shown up to watch them with me. They always watched them with me. Watching them alone, with my parents just didn’t feel right and I couldn’t wait to get home to yell at him for blowing me off.

We were driving through the neighborhood one block away from home when we noticed flashing lights coming from our street. My mother shook her head and turned back to speak to me. “See what happens when kids aren’t safe while using fireworks? I hope that’s not at our house. I’m going to have a talk with Adric to be sure he’s being safe.”

I just laughed at her comment and placed my face against the window. “Yeah, sure, mom. I’m sure Adric knows what he’s doing. He’s twenty. He’s smarter than you think.”

My mother rolled her eyes and patted my leg. “Not ‘til tomorrow. He’s still my baby and they’re still dangerous. You know how boys can be.”

“Whatever . . .”

My words trailed off as soon as we hit our street. An ambulance along with a couple police cars were parked right in front of our house, with two ambulance drivers carrying a stretcher toward the door.