This Regret

“I don’t know . . .” My words trail off as he takes a step toward me, his nostrils flared and his jaw clenched as he pulls me into the office, shutting the door. He turns me, facing the closed door and walks again until my back is pressed against the desk. “I can’t think of anything good enough to make this day any better,” I whisper, unable to breathe. Him being this close is almost too much to handle.

A look of hurt flashes in his eyes before he grabs my waist with force and pulls me to him so we’re only a breath apart from kissing. “I almost hate myself for what I’m about to do to you.”

I swallow hard as my eyes connect with his. They are so full of a passion I’ve never seen before and he’s breathing so hard, I’m afraid he’ll have some kind of asthma attack like when we were kids. “What,” I swallow hard losing myself. “What are you about to do to me?”

He runs his hand up my side from being cupped around my waist, stopping right beneath my breast, then over my heart, and the pain in his eyes deepens. His breath comes out in heavy bursts and I can feel his heart beating fast against my chest. “Make you fall in love with me.”

I gasp as he presses his lips against mine; his lips searching mine as if he’s been holding back for years. His lips are soft and smooth and the feel of his lip ring is foreign against my skin, making my body feel as if it’s on fire. He runs his tongue over my lips before sucking in the bottom one, nibbling and tugging, begging for entrance I instantly grant. In this moment, I feel as if I could die in his arms, as his tongue smoothly rolls around with mine, both of us breathing each other in.

His hands cup just under my ass, picking me up, setting me on the edge of the desk. This causes both of us to gasp and before I know it, one hand slowly trails its way up my thigh, underneath my skirt, until my panties are twisted around his strong fingers. “I love the way you taste and I want to pleasure you in ways you have never known,” he breathes into my ear, making me wet. “Running my tongue along every inch of your body has been flooding my thoughts for days and I promise you I would do things you never even imagined.”

He leans back in claiming my lips again and as he presses his body between mine, spreading my legs wider, I can feel the stiffness of his penis digging into my body. It causes my body to tremble under his touch as he runs his fingers up the inside of my thigh, inching its way closer to my pu**y. All I have to do to feel his fingers inside me, is move just a little to the left and the anticipation is killing me. I want him inside me. My body is screaming for his touch.

Pulling away from the kiss, he bites his bottom lip while thrusting his hip further between my legs so his stiffness is rubbing my swollen clit, making me moan. “If only I could do these things without a guilty conscience but I can’t.” He pulls away suddenly looking terrified. “Shit! What the hell am I doing? You’re Adric’s little sister and I’m no good for you. For anyone.”

I sit there fighting to catch my breath as I watch him run his hands over his face before running his fingers through his hair, tugging it.

“That’s all I’ll ever be to you, isn’t it? Adric’s little sister,” I say stiffly. “I’m not a child anymore and I have taken more pain than you know. You think you’ve been hurting over the years, well f**k you Kellan because I’ve been hurting worse.” I stand up from the desk and pull my skirt down. I’m in so much heartache right now, especially after getting to feel those lips on mine, just to take the feeling away and never give it again. It hurts like hell, but I refuse to show it. “Oh and don’t ever kiss me again. I don’t think your brother would like his lips to be where yours has been.”

The look on his face is as if I’ve just slapped him. Kade had given me the same look when I called him by his brother’s name. I don’t even know why I just said what I said. Maybe I want to hurt him just as bad as he has hurt me over the years.

He rubs a hand over his mouth and looks me in the eye. “You’re right. I don’t think he would like that either.” He stares me in the eyes while walking over to stand in front of me. His eyes trail down to my lips as he speaks again. “But I think I f**king hate his lips on yours more.”

Before I can speak, his lips crush mine again as he backs me up against the wall. This time he doesn’t even ask for entrance, he just takes it. He places his hand on my chin and pushes my head back, causing me to gasp as he slips his tongue into my mouth. His tongue hungrily caresses mine and this time, I feel the coolness of the steel in his mouth as he swirls his tongue around mine, before sucking it into his mouth. “Fuck the rules and f**k what Kade wants. Here’s to making this day better. Today, you’re mine.”

I look at his mouth as he runs his tongue over his lip and looks me in the eye. “Kellan, you don’t have to-“

“Come with me,” he breathes. “I have places I want to take you.”

His Adams apple bobs as he looks at me waiting for a response. “What about the party and your family?”

“Screw the party, Phoenix. This day is about you and being sure you never have to suffer on this day again. Give me a chance to change your mind.”

He looks at me pleadingly and I can’t help but to give in. A part of me doesn’t even care where he’s taking me as long as I’m with him. “Okay, take me anywhere you want.”

I hope this is the right decision or I’m in for a world of hurt.

Chapter Twelve

Phoenix

I follow him down the stairs and back into the hallway. Just as we reach the door, Jen comes in view from the kitchen.

She looks at Kellan, who is just about to reach for the door knob, before she turns her attention to me. “Going somewhere?” She looks behind her as if she’s looking to see if she’s alone. Then she turns back around and stares at me, waiting for a response. “Well?”

I look at Kellan and he angles his head towards the door. “I’ll be outside.”

I watch him walk out the door, before I turn to face Jen. “I can’t stay here, Jen. I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. I just have . . . I have to go.”

She laughs as if I just said something silly. “So you just run off with Kellan like when you were a kid? You weren’t even going to say anything were you? How is going off with Kellan any better than being here with your friends?”