Begin Again (Beautiful 2)

My eyes started to flutter shut my limbs started going numb. I whispered a ‘good-bye’, because really, that was all I had left to give, and the last thing I remembered was Dr. Bates yelling, “Miss. Rosemead, stay with me!” Everything went dark after that, and I felt nothing. I was consumed by a darkness that never ended.

IT WAS A few hours later when I started regaining consciousness. The harsh light above me hurt my tired eyes and I cowered away from it. My head was in a hazy fog and I fought it.

“Demi?”

I opened my eyes slowly, and saw that Huntley was standing above me, her face still red.

“What happened?” I croaked, rolling to my side to face her.

She sniffled and I saw relief flood her stormy blue eyes. “You passed out because of the amount of blood you lost, sweety. They had to do a blood transfusion. It was touch and go there for a while.”

“And the baby?”

Huntley looked down and started crying again. “She’s gone.”

“So it really happened?” I asked, feeling the onslaught of tears coming again. Huntley nodded and in that moment, it felt like the fight had left my body.

Huntley crawled in next to me and wrapped her slender arms around my shaking body. She carried the weight of my loss with me, and in some ways it helped lighten the burden. I found myself stuck in the darkness again, only this time I saw no way out. There was no light left. It was just an abyss of endless…black.

Demi crumpled to the floor in a sobbing mess and it took every bit of inner strength not to go to her. The need to comfort her came as naturally to me as breathing, but I’d decided that just this once depriving myself of that was the right thing to do.

“My baby?” I asked, my voice barely audible. Her head hung low but she still nodded. I fisted my hair and inhaled deeply. It was all I could do not to fall to floor myself. I looked around the dark house and tried to wrap my head around Demi’s admission. I thought back to all the times I’d seen her this week, remembering that I hadn’t once seen her with a baby. She cried harder and I took a step closer. A brown puppy was pawing at Demi’s legs, but even then Demi remained on the floor while her body shook. Her broken cries taunted my ears and as much as I wanted to pick her up and hold her to me, I wasn’t going to.

“Where is it?” My tone came out harder than I intended. “The baby, I mean.”

When Demi finally looked up at me, I saw the light leave her eyes and it made me afraid of the answer. I could tell it wasn’t going to be good. “Tell me, Demetria,” I pressed.

“She died,” Demi whispered. Time stopped just then, and I felt the air leave my own lungs. She?

“We had a daughter?” I swallowed and felt my eyes grow wet. When Demi didn’t say anything more I fell to my knees in front of her and gripped her forearms. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I yelled. Tears started sliding down my face but I didn’t care. I’d just been sucker punched and betrayed by the woman I’ve loved more than life itself since I was six years old. I think I deserved to fucking cry. Demi flinched, and looked away.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I yelled again, “I deserved to know!”

“Brody,” she cried, “I’m s-sorry. Y-you w-would have s-stayed for t-the wrong reasons if I had told you. I c-couldn’t keep you here, so I l-let you go!”

A sense of loss overcame me and collided with the anger and duplicity coursing through every fiber in my body. My blood boiled with it, my bones ached with it.

“I can’t believe you would hide this from me,” I said. Looking at her felt like looking at a complete stranger. I didn’t know her, not anymore, and that hurt me almost more than learning about our child.

She shook her head and I loosened my grip on her arms, still afraid that I’d hurt her. I was pissed, but I wasn’t about to hurt her physically.

“I t-tried to t-tell you,” she sobbed.

“When? I never heard from you!”

“I w-went to Chicago two months after she…” Demi swallowed, struggling with the words, “died, but I saw you with Sienna and thought you had moved on.”

I sat back and wiped my face. The gravity of the situation hit me square in the chest. It wasn’t only her fault. If I hadn’t left none of this would have happened.

“How did she die?”

“Oh God, Brody, please, I can’t take anymore right now!”

“Do Huntley and Grayson know?”

Instead of replying, Demi just curled further into herself and I realized that I wasn’t going to get the answers I wanted.

“If you can’t tell me, I’ll find someone who will,” I said standing up. Before I left, I turned around and looked at her one last time.

“I felt like shit for months after what I did. I was consumed with my guilt for months. Now, I find out you kept our child and her death from me! You are no better than I am, and you have to live with this. There’s no coming back from this, and this time it’s on you.”

I slammed the door shut, drowning out her cries, and walked with determination to her red Lexus. There was no way in hell I was going anywhere until I had some answers.

I pulled up the hand break and the car screeched to a halt on the dusty gravel of the parking lot next to Lake Dixon. There were fewer cars now, but when I spotted Grayson’s truck, I knew he was still here. The fact that it was his wedding didn’t stop me. Nothing would.

I found him standing on the side, talking to Huntley, Jeff, his parents, Coach Morgan and his wife. They all laughed, and smiled, but when Grayson spotted me his smile fell.

“Brody, what’s wrong?” he asked, right before I knocked him on his ass. I ignored the pain, since I’d hit him with injured hand. It didn’t compare to what I was feeling inside.

“What the fuck?” Jeff yelled, moving to pin my arms behind me. Huntley bent down and helped Grayson to his feet while everyone glared at me.

“You sonofabitch! How could you not tell me?”

“Tell you wha - ” Grayson snapped his mouth shut and I saw realization flicker across his face. I would apologize for hitting him later, when I wasn’t so angry.

“She told you,” he said quietly, barely above a whisper.

Everyone went quiet, and their expressions morphed from shock to a combination of sheepishness and sympathy…

“You all knew, didn’t you?”

No one replied and they could barely look me in the eye.

“Fuck,” I muttered, pulling away from Jeff. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”

“No,” Huntley replied. She opened her mouth to say something more but I cut her off.

“I called you,” I looked at Grayson, “every day for three fucking months, and you didn’t think to mention any of this to me?”

“It’s not that simple,” he replied.

“Why not?” I shouted. “You’re my best friend, and you betrayed me! Every fucking one of you betrayed me!”

“Demi wanted to be the one to tell you,” Jeff said from behind me. I spun around to face him, itching to hit him too.

“And how would you of all people know that?” I snapped, stepping closer. Coach Morgan and Grayson’s father, Richard, also take a step forward, flanking Jeff on either side. I didn’t care. I would punch all of them if I had to.