He heard her gulp.
“But not tonight,” he said quickly.
“Good.” She breathed an audible sigh of relief. “I’ve never seen a naked man before, and tonight doesn’t seem like the time to start.”
He couldn’t even disguise the hoarseness of his voice this time. “Never?”
Lifting on her tiptoes, she peeked over the screen, looking at him over the painted wooden panels. Her eyes lingered over his bare chest as she purred, “Never.”
Kasimir didn’t breathe till she ducked back behind the screen. Her arms lifted as she pulled the nightgown over her head. The loose fit of his pants had never felt so uncomfortably tight before.
“Is it safe to come out?” she called.
“Safe as it will ever be,” he muttered.
Josie came around the screen in a silver silk nightgown, bias-cut in a retro style, which went to her ankles, but left her arms bare. “Thanks for this. It’s very retro. Nineteen forties.”
“I told my staff to ransack the vintage shops, and avoid designer boutiques. Warned them not to get all ‘fancy.’”
“I love this.” She stroked the silk over her belly. “It’s...soft.”
His fingers itched to discover that for himself. He didn’t let himself move. “Glad you approve.”
Their eyes met. His forehead broke out into a sweat. At the same moment, they both abruptly turned towards the water basin, causing their hands to brush.
Josie ripped back her hand as if he’d burned her. “You go ahead.”
“No, be my guest.”
“All right.” Keeping a safe distance, she quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth, then walked a semi-circle around him towards the bed. She was afraid to touch him, which meant she felt the same electricity, after all. Knowing she wanted him made this all the harder.
Or maybe it was just him.
As he brushed his teeth, out of the corner of his eye he watched her climb into bed, watched the silk of her nightgown move as sensuously as water over her curves. Putting down his toothbrush, he splashed cold water on his face, wishing he could drench his whole body with it.
Josie hesitated, biting her lip prettily as she glanced at him. “Do you care which side—”
“No,” he ground out.
She frowned. “You don’t have to be so rude...”
He looked at her, and something in his face made her close her mouth with a snap. Without another word, she jumped into bed and pulled the covers all the way up to her chin.
“Ready.” Her voice was muffled.
He put out the flickering lantern light. Stretching his tight shoulders, he climbed in beside her. They each took opposite sides of the bed in the darkness, neither of them moving as the wind howled against the canvas roof.
“Kasimir?” her soft voice came from the darkness a moment later. “What will you do...when all this is over?”
“You mean our marriage?”
“Yes.”
He leaned his head back against the pillow, folding his arms beneath his head. “I’ll have everything I ever wanted.”
“You mean the land?”
He exhaled with a flare of nostril. “Among other things.”
“But you’re not planning to live in Alaska, are you?”
Live at the old homestead? He inhaled, remembering nights sharing the cold attic room with his brother. Remembering the constant love of his hardworking parents, and how he’d bounded up eagerly each morning to start his chores.
As a boy, Kasimir had felt so certain of what mattered in the world. Home. Family. Loyalty.
“No, I won’t go back,” he said quietly.
“Then why do you want it so badly? Just because of your promise to your father?”
“It was a deathbed vow...” He stopped. He’d told himself that same lie for years, but here in the darkness, lying in bed beside her, he couldn’t tell it again. “Because I don’t want Vladimir to have it. He doesn’t deserve a home. Or a brother.”
“What about you?” Josie said softly. “What do you deserve?”
Kasimir looked away from her, towards his briefcase, which looked distinctly out of place in the corner of the tent. “Exactly what I will get,” he said. Retribution against his brother and the Mata Hari who’d caused their rift. Total ownership of both Xendzov Mining and Southern Cross. That would make him happy. Give him peace.
It would. It had to. Looking at her shadowy form in the darkness, he turned the question back on her. “What will you do? With your life?”
“I don’t know.” She swallowed. “Bree always talked about sending me to college, but even if we had the money, I’m not sure that’s what I want.”
“Why not? You’d be good at it.”
She gave a regretful laugh. “Bree should have been the one to go. She’s a planner. A striver. Though she dropped out of high school to help support me.” He could hear the self-blame in her voice. Then she laughed again. “But maybe she was glad. She was impatient with school. She’s always had an eye to the bottom line. If not for those old debts threatening us, she’d be running her own business by now.”
“I didn’t ask about Bree’s dreams,” he said roughly. “I asked about you. What do you want?”
She paused. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”
“Nothing you want is stupid,” he said, then snorted. “Except maybe stealing my horse and riding off alone into the desert.”
“Not one of my best ideas,” she admitted. For a long moment, they lay silently beside each other in the darkness. Kasimir started to wonder if she’d fallen asleep, then she turned in the darkness. Her voice was muffled as she said, “I never really knew my mother. She died a month after I was born. She was supposed to start chemo, then found out she was pregnant. She didn’t want to put me at risk.”
“She loved you.”
Her voice trembled. “She died because of me,” she said softly. “When I was growing up, my father and Bree were always away on their moneymaking schemes. I was mostly alone in a big house, left with a babysitter who got paid by the hour.”
Kasimir’s heart ached as he pictured Josie as a child—even more tenderhearted and vulnerable than she was now—feeling alone, unwanted, unloved.
“And from that moment, even as a kid, I knew what I wanted someday. And it wasn’t college. It wasn’t even a career.”
“What is it?” he said in a low voice.
He heard her shuddering intake of breath.
“I want a home,” she whispered. “A family of my own. I want to bake pies and do piles of laundry and weed our garden behind the white picket fence. I want an honest, strong husband who will never lie to me, ever, and who will play with our kids and mow our lawn on Saturdays. I want a man I can trust with my heart. A man I can love for the rest of my life.” She stopped.
Kasimir’s heart lurched violently in his chest. For a moment, he couldn’t speak.
“See?” she said in a voice edged with tears. “I told you it was stupid.”
He exhaled.
“It’s not stupid,” he said tightly. For a moment, he closed his eyes. Then he slowly turned to face her in the darkness. His vision adjusted enough to see her eyes glimmer with tears in the shadows of the bed.
I want an honest, strong husband who will never lie to me. A man I can trust with my heart.
Kasimir suddenly envied him, Josie’s future husband, whoever he might be. He would deserve her, give her children, provide for her. And she would love him for the rest of her life. Because she had that kind of loyalty. The kind of heart that could love forever.
The irony almost made him laugh. Kasimir envied her next husband. Because even though he was married to her now, Kasimir couldn’t be that man. He wasn’t her partner, or even her lover. Not even, really, her friend.
But he could be.
“After I pay you for the land,” he said, “you and your sister will be free of those old debts. You’ll be able to pursue your dreams.” He ignored the lump in his throat. “Whatever they might be.”
“You’re going to pay me?” she gasped. “I thought our deal was just a direct trade—the land for my sister.”
“And I always intended to pay you full market value,” he lied.
He heard her intake of breath. “Really?” she said wistfully.
No. He’d pay her double the market value. “Yes.”
“You don’t know what this means to me,” she choked out. “We won’t have to hide from those men anymore. We’ll be free. And if there’s any money left after the debts, Bree could use it to start her bed and breakfast.”
“Is that what will make you happy?” he said. “Using the money so your sister can fulfill her dreams?”