Princes Waitress

That people and relationships were not always the way they appeared.

He wondered whether his loyal Head of Security had known Antonia had been sleeping with his brother.

‘Thank you, Emilio. I’ll deal with it.’

‘Will you still be attending the fundraising dinner, sir?’

Casper frowned. ‘Yes, of course.’

‘The car will be ready at seven-thirty, sir.’

‘One question, Emilio.’ Casper lifted a hand and the bodyguard stopped. ‘Which engagement did she cancel?’

Emilio met his gaze. ‘The opening of a new family centre for children from split families, sir. It was an initiative designed to give lone parents support and children the opportunity to spend time with male role-models.’ He hesitated and then bowed. ‘I’ll arrange the car for later.’

Casper stood still for a moment.

Then he cursed long and fluently, cast a frustrated glance at the volume of work on his desk, and turned his back on it and strode through the private apartments looking for Holly.

Holly lay on the bed with her head under the pillow.

She had to get up.

She had things to do. Responsibilities.

But her mind was so exhausted with thinking and worrying that she couldn’t move.

‘Holly.’

The sound of Casper’s voice made her curl the pillow over her head. She didn’t want him to see that she’d been crying. She didn’t want to see him at all. ‘Go away. I’m tired. I’m having a sleep.’

‘We have to talk.’

She curled up like a foetus. ‘I’m still trying to get over the last talk we had.’

She heard the strong tread of his footsteps, and then the pillow was firmly prised from the tight ball of her fists. ‘You’re going to suffocate yourself.’

Holly kept her face turned away from him. ‘I think better under the pillow.’

The pillow landed on the floor with a soft thud, and then she felt his hands curve around her and he lifted her into a sitting position. ‘I want to look at you when I talk to you.’ His fingers lifted her chin and his eyes narrowed. ‘Dio, have you been crying?’

‘No, my face always looks like a tomato.’ Mortified, she jerked her chin away from his fingers. ‘Just go away, Casper.’

But he didn’t move.

‘The staff tell me you’re not eating. They’re worried about you.’

‘That’s kind of them.’ Holly rubbed her hands over her arms. ‘But I don’t fancy anything to eat.’

‘You cancelled your engagement this afternoon.’

‘I really am sorry about that.’ She wished he wouldn’t sit so close to her. She couldn’t concentrate when he was this close. ‘But the subject was a bit—painful. I just couldn’t face it. I will go, I promise. The visit is going to be rearranged. Just not this week.’ Why was it that she just wanted to fling her arms around his neck and sob?

Terrified that she’d give in to the impulse, she wriggled off the bed and walked over to the glass doors that were open onto the balcony.

A breeze played with the filmy curtains, and beyond the profusion of plants she could see sunlight glistening on the surface of a perfect blue sea.

Although it was only early April, it promised to be a warm day.

And she’d never felt more miserable in her life .

‘Forget the visit.’ Casper gave a soft curse and strode across to her, pulling her into his arms. ‘Enough, Holly.’ His voice was rough. ‘This is about Rome, isn’t it? We’ve been dancing round the issue for two weeks. Perhaps I was a little too blunt.’

‘You were honest.’ She stood rigid in his arms, trying to ignore the excitement that fluttered to life in her tummy.

She didn’t want to respond .

‘You’re making yourself ill.’

‘It’s just hard, that’s all.’ Holly tried to pull away from him but he held her firmly. ‘Normally when I have a problem I talk it through and that’s how I deal with things.’

He cupped her face, his eyes holding hers. ‘Then talk it through.’

‘You make it sound so simple. But who am I supposed to talk to, Casper?’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘It’s all private stuff, isn’t it? I can just imagine what some of the more unscrupulous staff would do with a story like that.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘You’re learning about the media.’

‘Yes, well, I’ve had some experience now.’ She was desperately aware of him—of the hardness of his thighs pressing against hers, of the strength of his arms as he held her firmly.

‘This is your chance to get your revenge.’

‘You really ought to get to know me, instead of just turning me into some stereotypical gold digger. I don’t want revenge, Casper. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want you to love our baby.’ And her. She wanted him to love her. ‘And the fact that you can’t…’ The dilemma started to swirl in her head again. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘You’ve lost weight.’ His hands slid slowly down her arms and his mouth tightened. ‘You can start by eating.’

‘I’m not hungry.’

‘Then you should be thinking about the baby.’

It was like pulling the pin out of a hand grenade.

Erupting with a violence that was new to her, Holly lifted a hand and slapped him hard. ‘How dare you tell me I should be thinking about the baby? I think of nothing else!’ Sobbing with fury and outrage, she backed away from him, his stunned expression blurring as tears pricked her eyes. ‘From the moment I discovered I was pregnant the baby is the only thing I’ve been thinking of. When you turned up at the flat, that day you were horrid to me, I spent two weeks going round and round in circles trying to work out what to do for the best, but I decided that, as this is your baby, marrying you was the right thing to do. Even when you told me that you believe you’re infertile I didn’t panic, because I know it isn’t true and sooner or later you’re going to know that too. Then you told me that you couldn’t ever love me and that hurt—’ Her voice cracked. ‘Yes, it hurt, but I made myself accept it because I kept reminding myself that it isn’t me that matters. But when you said you didn’t know if you could love our baby—’

‘Holly.’ His voice was tight. ‘You have to calm down—’

‘Don’t tell me to calm down! Antonia did a dreadful thing to you. Really dreadful. But that isn’t our baby’s fault. And now I don’t know what to do.’ She paced the floor, so agitated that she couldn’t keep still. ‘What sort of a mother would I be if I stayed with a man who can’t love his own child? I always thought that the only thing that mattered was to have a father. But is it worse to grow up with a father who doesn’t love you? I don’t know, and maybe I’ve done the wrong thing by marrying you, maybe I am a bad mother, but don’t ever accuse me of not thinking about our baby!’

Casper muttered something in Italian and ran a hand over the back of his neck, tension visible in every angle of his powerful frame. ‘I did not say that you were a bad mother.’

‘But you implied it.’

‘Enough!’ It was a command, and Holly stilled, her legs trembling so much that she was almost relieved when he strode towards her and scooped her into his arms.