Lover Awakened (Black Dagger Brotherhood 3)

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "If I... uh, hurt your feelings or something."

She glared at him. "I'm not hurt. I'm pissed off and sexually frustrated."

His head snapped back on his spine. Well... then. Okaaaaay.

Man, he was going to need a neck brace after this conversation.

"I'll say it again, Zsadist. If you're not into laying with me, that's okay, but do not try to tell me I don't know what I want."

Z planted his palms on his hip bones and looked down at the marble tile. Don't say a thing, ass**le. Just keep your mouth -

"It's not that," he blurted. As the words floated out into the air, he cursed himself. Talking was bad. Talking was a real piss-poor idea...

"It's not what? You mean you want me?"

He thought of the it that was still trying to claw a way out of his pants. She had eyes. She could see the damn thing. "You know I do."

"So if I'm willing to take it... hard..." She paused, and he had a feeling she was blushing. "Then why can't we be together?"

His breath shortened until his lungs burned and his heart pounded. He felt as if he were looking over the edge of a ravine. Good Lord, he wasn't actually going to tell her? Was he?

His stomach rolled as the words came out. "She was always on top. The Mistress. When she... came to me, she was always on top. You, uh, you rolled over onto my chest and... yeah, that doesn't work for me."

He rubbed his face, as much to try to hide from her as to relieve the headache he suddenly had.

He heard breath being exhaled. Realized it was hers.

"Zsadist, I'm so sorry. I didn't know - "

"Yeah... f**k... maybe you can forget I said that." God, he needed to get away from her before that mouth of his got flapping again. "Look, I'm going to - "

"What did she do to you?" Bella's voice was thin as a hair.

He shot her a hard look. Oh, not likely, he thought.

She took a step toward him. "Zsadist, did she... have you against your will?"

He turned away. "I'm going to the gym. I'll see you later."

"Wait - "

"Later, Bella. I can't... do this."

On his way out, he grabbed his Nikes and his MP3 player.

A good, long run was just what he needed right now. A long... run. So what if it got him exactly nowhere. At least he could have the sweaty illusion he was getting away from himself.

Chapter Twenty-one

Phury looked across the mansion's pool table with disgust while Butch measured his shot. Something was off with the human, but as the cop sank three balls with one cue stroke, it sure as hell wasn't his game.

"Jesus, Butch. Four wins in a row. Remind me why I bother playing with you?"

"Because hope springs eternal." Butch tossed back the tail end of his Scotch. "You want another game?"

"Why not. My odds can't get worse."

"You rack while I get a refill."

As Phury collected the balls from the pockets, he realized what the problem was. Every time he turned away, Butch got to staring at him.

"You have something on your mind, cop?"

The male poured himself a couple of fingers of Lagavulin, then took a long drink from his glass. "Not particularly."

"Liar. You've been giving me the hairy eyeball since we got back from ZeroSum. Why don't you get real and spill it."

Butch's hazel eyes met his glare head-on. "You g*y, my man?"

Phury dropped the eight ball and dimly heard it bouncing on the marble floor. "What? Why would you - "

"I heard you were getting close with the Reverend." As Phury cursed, Butch picked up the black ball and sent it rolling back over the green felt. "Look, I'm cool if you are. I honestly don't give a rat's ass who you're into. But I would like to know."

Oh, this is just great, Phury thought. Not only was he pining after the female who wanted his twin; now he was supposedly dating a frickin' symphath.

That female who'd walked in on him and the Reverend clearly had a big mouth and... Christ. Butch must have already told Vishous. The two were like an old mated couple, no secrets between them. And V would squeal to Rhage. And once Rhage knew, you might as well have popped the news flash on the Reuters wire.

"Phury?"

"No, I'm not g*y."

"Don't feel like you need to hide it or anything."

"I wouldn't. I'm just not."

"You bi, then?"

"Butch, drop it. If any of the Brothers are down with the kinky shit, it's your roommate." At the cop's bug-eyed look, he muttered, "Come on, you have to know about V by now. You live with him."

"Obviously not?h, hey, Bella."

Phury wheeled around. Bella was standing on the threshold of the room, dressed in that black satin robe. He could not look away from her. The glow of health was back in her lovely face, the bruises gone, her beauty revealed. She was... astonishing.

"Hello," she said. "Phury, do you think I could talk with you for a moment? After you're finished?"

"Butch, you mind if we take a breather?"

"That's cool. See you later, Bella."

As the cop left, Phury put his pool cue away with unnecessary precision, sliding the slick, blond wood into the wall rack. "You look well. How do you feel?"

"Better. Much better."

Because she'd fed from Zsadist.

"So... what's going on?" he asked, trying not to imagine her at his twin's vein.

Without replying, she went over to the French doors, the robe trailing across the marble floor behind her like a shadow. As she walked, the ends of her hair brushed against the small of her back and moved with the sway of her hips. Hunger hit him hard, and he prayed she didn't catch the scent.

"Oh, Phury, look at the moon, it's almost full." Her hand went to the glass and lingered on the pane. "I wish I could..."

"You want to go outside now? I could get you a coat."

She smiled at him over her shoulder. "I have no shoes."

"I'll bring you those, too. Stay here."

In no time he came back with a pair of fur-lined boots and a Victorian cape that Fritz, homing pigeon that he was, had pulled out of some closet.

"You work fast," Bella said as he draped the bloodred velvet around her shoulders.

He knelt in front of her. "Let me get these on you."

She lifted one knee, and as he slid the boot on her foot, he tried not to notice how soft the skin of her ankle was. Or how much her scent tantalized him. Or how he could just part the robe out of the way and...

"Now the other one," he said hoarsely.

When he had her booted up he opened the door, and they walked out together, crunching through the snow that covered the terrace. At the lawn's edge she tugged the cape in tight around her and looked up. Her breath left her mouth in puffs of white, and the wind teased the red velvet around her body, as if stroking the cloth.

"Dawn is not far," she said.

"Coming soon."

He wondered what she wanted to talk about, but then her face grew serious and he knew why she'd come. Zsadist. Of course.

"I want to ask you about him," she murmured. "Your twin."

"What do you want to know?"

"How did he become a slave?"

Oh, God... He didn't want to talk about the past.

"Phury? Will you tell me? I would ask him, but..."

Ah, hell. There was no good reason not to answer her. "A nursemaid took him. She sneaked him out of the household when he was seven months old. We couldn't find them anywhere, and as far as I was able to find out, she died two years later. He was sold into slavery at that point by whoever found him."

"That must have been so hard on your whole family."

"The worst. A death with no body to bury."

"And when... when he was a blood slave..." She took a deep breath. "Do you know what happened to him?"

Phury rubbed the back of his neck. As he hesitated, she said, "I'm not talking about the scars or the forced feedings. I want to know about... what else might have been done to him."

"Look, Bella - "

"I need to know."

"Why?" Even though he knew the answer. She wanted to lay with Z, had probably already tried to. That was the why of it.

"I just have to know."

"You should ask him."

"He won't tell me, you know he won't." She put her hand on his forearm. "Please. Help me understand him."