I smirked at how fast he moved on, and how he'd brightened noticeably.
"Pool party and barbecue with our closest," I revealed. "Danny and Zane are hosting it at their beach house, so don't forget sunscreen."
Julian's eyes lit up, so I reckoned he approved.
*
Julian came to life the minute we stepped foot inside the beach house. We'd kept it small, though a couple additions had shown up after Sophie and I had seen Julian get along great with Lucia and Shawn from the set. Along with Tennyson, Sophie, Asher, Brooklyn, Daniel, and Zane, it was shaping up to be one hell of a day.
Tennyson and I were the grill masters while Sophie and Brooklyn flitted back and forth to fill the table on the terrace with condiments, salads, bread, drinks, and God knew what else.
Music poured out from the living room, the sun was dipping low, Julian and Zane were embarrassing Shawn and Asher at volleyball in the pool, and the last time I saw Danny and Lucia, they were discussing politics.
Old Noah would've been appreciating the sight of so many beautiful women in bikinis or other beachwear. Married and obsessed with their husbands or not, it was okay to look. Yet, every fucking five minutes, it was Julian my eyes sought out.
The kid who'd acted like an outta-breath smoker after a ten-minute jog was a lot more athletic these days, and it showed. He didn't run with me in the mornings all that often, but he liked going swimming. He certainly had the body for it.
"It's becoming glaringly obvious, my friend." Tennyson flipped a couple steaks and eyed me over the frames of his shades. I frowned at him, to which he chuckled and nodded at Julian. "You stare at him like I stare at Sophie."
I cursed and chugged my beer.
"You still believe it's wrong?" He turned to me, brow furrowed. "Initially, I understood your panic—somewhat, anyway. But you're way past that, Noah. If it had been an unhealthy attachment founded on the grief you share, it would've faded by now."
My jaw ticked, and I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up. But I couldn’t. He was the one person I'd told. He didn't know Julian and I had actually been intimate, but he knew more than Dr. Kendall. He knew my personal thoughts, and it was a heavy-as-fuck issue to carry.
No one was nearby, so against my better judgment, I opened up a bit.
"It's my sister." I needed something to do, so I took over for Tennyson and started putting the hot dogs and my tofu burgers on the grill. "Imagine if she knew? Hell, all of them. If they were alive and found out… James's folks? It'd kill them."
It made me wanna throw up.
"I won't sugarcoat anything," he replied, lifting a brow. "It probably would have gotten ugly. But your family, Noah—you were so close. Eventually, they would've accepted it. I firmly believe that. Same goes for Julian's grandparents."
I wasn't so sure.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of it being like pissing on their graves.
I'm sorry I lost y'all, but don't worry, Julian keeps me warm at night.
"Listen." Tennyson clasped my shoulder. "I'm the last person to push. It took Sophie and me three years to realize our fling was a lot more than that. I know what it's like not to be ready."
True. They'd had an on-set romance years ago, but with their differences—their ages being one—they'd walked away from each other, both depressed as fuck and hiding it poorly. Only, Sophie had ended up pregnant. They'd raised Kayden together from day one, but as single parents. Still…they'd practically been a couple, anyway. Nobody could come between them, even when they were too blind to see it themselves.
We'd had a bet going on to see when they'd finally get it.
"Picture yourself in my shoes," I told him.
"I have, actually." He pointed toward where Sophie was giggling about something with Brooklyn and Lucia by the table. "And I wouldn’t let anyone come between us. She and our children are everything to me."
Everything.
"Just run me the fuck over already." I needed more beer.
*
I lost count of the times we toasted to Julian. The alcohol made us merrier and forgetful, and after a while, he stopped squirming at the attention. He even butted in with his own digs when Tennyson and I were grilling Asher about the cardio he loved to brag about.
This from the only dude who wore a shirt to hide his love for beer and pizza.
Brooklyn threw her head back and laughed but was quick to kiss her hubby to show solidarity.
"I keep telling you to come with me and Sophie to RJ's, little brother," Tennyson told Asher. "Or go with Noah on his runs. Though, I hear he's a sadistic trainer."
I winked and tipped my beer bottle at Asher.