Sickening.
I wanted it.
Paris was the topic, so it was easy to catch up.
"Are we doing a dinner when we get there?" Sophie asked. "I've only shot with Little Paul, so some bonding with my fellow cast wouldn’t hurt."
We had two Pauls on the set, so the kid who portrayed April's son had been nicknamed Little Paul. He was a great actor; Tennyson had found him.
"Well, you'll meet them next week," Tennyson said pensively.
I nodded. "We're shooting the scenes where your family packs your belongings."
Sophie pouted. "Is it wrong I'm on April's side?"
That was the whole mindfuck of the movie. It was about April's love for her son, and parallel to that, we had a devastated but determined family searching for her. 'Cause she was, despite all her love for her son, unfit to care for him, and her family was on a quest to take him away from her.
"I'm on April's side, too," Julian said quietly. "I get that she can't be the mother he needs, but damn. She loves him so much. Who wouldn’t want that?"
I hummed. "Sometimes it's not about what you want, though. Needs come first."
I was beginning to worry I was mixing the two up, though. For a year, I'd tried to do what was best. Tend to needs and not only desires. But what if what I desired was also what I needed?
As the others continued discussing the film, I distracted myself by keeping it about Paris with Julian. He'd only been there once on a school trip.
"I'm guessing you did all the boring museums then," I murmured.
"It wasn’t boring." He chuckled quietly and traced patterns on my shorts. "I heard it would take a whole week to see everything at the Louvre."
I almost forgot he'd majored in art. "You wouldn't mind that, would you?"
"No, it would be a dream come true." He grinned tiredly and shifted in his seat. His legs ended up over mine, and he snatched up a blanket before leaning back against the armrest. "When will the car be here?"
"An hour." I fanned out the blanket some more and stroked his calf. I couldn’t not touch him anymore. "Please your boss in Paris, and he might give you some time off to have fun at the Louvre."
I'd make sure he regretted thinking hiring him was a favor. On set here in LA, he focused on the music. He and Tennyson worked closely together, so I hadn't heard anything. But in Paris, Julian would be my bitch. He'd work harder than the other PAs just so he'd learn nepotism wasn’t always a perk.
"Should I call you sir, too?" He smirked and found my hand under the blanket. He played with my fingers absently, resting our hands on his stomach. "Or maybe Professor. You did promise to teach me the weird slang you use around sets."
Fucking hell. Images of me giving him assignments and tests flooded my brain. I did remember his fantasies. Professor and student was one of them. So was boss and employee.
"We can start right now if you want." I racked my brain for a common term as I brushed my thumb over his abs. His eyes darkened, and he swallowed hard. "What's an over?"
"Um." He drove me fucking insane with his expressive eyes. "Over easy, how you like your eggs in the morning?"
I chuckled darkly, my mind screaming at me to stop.
"Yeah, Brooklyn told me Peter's springing for a private plane for the cast and the big shots," I heard Zane say. "That’s great. Daniel and I will be waiting by the phone for a call from the adoption agency that can come when-damn-ever, and you're all going to Paris in first class. I'm stoked for y'all."
I saw my exit. I didn't wanna take it, but if Julian and I went any further, I'd attack as soon as we were home.
"Hey, guys, I'm trying to teach Julian some on-set slang," I said, clearing my throat. "He doesn't know what an over is. Any guesses? Not you, Tennyson."
He hmphd.
"I know," Sophie sang. She faced Julian. "It's an angle. Like, if I have my back to the camera and they film the person I'm talking to—over my shoulder."
I nodded and sat up a bit, 'cause I needed a break from Julian before I mauled him. "That’s right. So you get an F on that one, kid." I gave his leg a squeeze and then stood up. "I'll go pack up your gifts."
He'd received a bunch things for his cat from Brooklyn and Asher, gift cards from Danny and Zane, and studio time with a well-known music producer from Tennyson and Sophie. And I figured carrying out cat furniture to the front of the house would work better than baseball stats.
*
The problem was, when we got in the car to go home, I was back to not being able to stay away. He was so fucking sweet, talking excitedly—albeit sleepily—about Paris, working on a film set, seeing the sights, and being back in Europe, that I couldn’t manage any distance between us anymore.