“I know.” I hug her back. I’ve known PJ for eight months now and in that short time she’s become like a sister to me. I don’t know how I used to do shows without her. PJ was hired on the day before the incident last year where a man came rushing on stage. They buffed up my security after I’d gotten some unsettling mail and emails. I even had to change my number.
One second I’d seen the man charging me and the next PJ had him on the ground. Still it had scared the crap out of me. I went dark for almost a year. My contract has left me no choice but to come back. As they say, the show must go on. That doesn’t mean that I’m comfortable getting up there, but knowing PJ is here helps with that.
“Last show,” she whispers in my ear before I let her go. I nod. There have been whispers that this will be my last one ever. I haven't given anyone a confirmation on that. I had no idea when I started dancing how big it would become. I still find it hard to believe. I feel crazy walking away from it. I love dancing and playing. It has always been my escape, but slowly it has become a prison of its own.
“On in two, Bunny.” The stage manager alerts me as the opening act starts to finish. PJ grabs my violin for me. I shoulder off my robe, handing it to her. She drapes it over my case.
“You’re going to kill it and then we’re going to order room service.” I laugh because that sounds wonderful. “See you on the other side.” She kisses my cheek before darting off. I never know where she is but I know she’s close. One of the great things about being on stage is it’s hard to see the crowd. The lights are too bright to see anything. I can let myself get lost in the music. Let everything else melt away.
“You’re a go,” the stage manager whispers as the music starts to fade and everything goes dark. I count my steps out onto the stage. I close my eyes, tilting my head back. I feel the light hit my stage as the sound of the crowd rings out. Slowly I raise my violin, and the sound of the crowd fades away as I start to play.
I always start out slow at first. I feel the music start to move my body. Others start to join as I pick up speed. Everyone follows my lead as I take over the space around me, getting lost in what I’m doing. Everything around me fades away as I move. Feeling the music down to my soul.
My body lights up. Something is different today. For a moment I think it’s because it’s my last show but it’s not that. I feel alive. I speed up. One song bleeds into the next. I go off course but everyone else knows to follow me as I shift from one song to another. My creative juices are flowing or it could be my adrenaline. I make up a new song on the fly, letting my imagination run free for the first time in a long time. No one misses a beat as I continue to dominate the stage. My feet are moving faster than they ever have before to the music. Something else is driving me tonight and whatever it is, I want more of it.
I feel powerful. The stage isn't for everyone else tonight. It’s for me. I take it. I own it. I make it mine and mine alone. I move and play until there is nothing left. Until I’m bare, having left it all on the stage. My eyes open. Everything goes quiet. I feel as though I’m dreaming with how quiet it is. Then my eyes land on him. He’s all I can see through the lights. He has the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. I can’t take my gaze off of him. Something is pulling me to him. In this moment I realize where my inspiration came from tonight. Which is strange because I never laid eyes on him before this moment. How could he inspire me? The crowd explodes into cheers, breaking me from my thoughts. I jump back, causing my violin to hit the floor with a crash. I could care less. The only thing I can focus on is him.
I don’t budge an inch, my eyes still locked with his. The lights dim, giving me a view of the enormous crowd that’s giving me a standing ovation. Everyone but him. He doesn’t move. His eyes remain on mine. Then I’m pulled from the stage. PJ’s hand locks around my wrist. The last thing I see is him standing as the curtains fall, making everyone disappear. It was him.