Not that he was getting ahead of himself or anything.
He put his hand on the knob, then paused. Best to prepare for the other likelihood. That she had started her period and was here to set his mind at ease. Or the other, other option. That she was pregnant but didn’t want to keep their baby. His stomach twisted to the point of nausea. Surely, God wouldn’t let that happen to him twice. If she didn’t want to have this baby, he’d have to convince her. He wouldn’t lose the opportunity of fatherhood. Not again.
If there was a baby.
He walked in to find Kimber at his kitchen table, waiting for him like he’d asked. A can of Sprite with a straw sticking out of it stood in front of her. Late-day morning sickness? Avoiding caffeine for the baby?
Could you jump to any more conclusions?
He dropped his things on the kitchen table and pulled up a chair. “Hey,” he said much more casually than he felt.
She sent him a small smile. “I’d ask you about your meeting but you probably don’t want to talk about it.”
He shook his head. Tried to read her expression. Failed. He wanted to lean forward and touch her somehow. Put his hands in her hair, wind his fingers around hers, tug her chair closer. But he didn’t.
“Not unless you want to. Pretty boring stuff.” He relaxed his back against the chair while his insides churned.
She surprised him by standing. “I want to show you something.” He took her outstretched hand, longing flooding his body on contact. He’d really missed her. The kiss he gave her at his office had left him wanting more. Of all of her.
She led him through the hallway, around the corner, and into her old bedroom. Then into the bathroom.
Pregnancy tests were scattered from one end of the sink to the other. His heart collided with his rib cage and his knees actually weakened. He held on to the door frame and stared.
Unopened. The boxes were unopened. He shot her a questioning look. What’s going on?
“I’m late. A week or so. But I didn’t want to get the results until you were here. I didn’t want to steal this moment from you. I wanted you to have the same amount of time to process once we find out. Together.”
She didn’t know if she was pregnant or not. And he didn’t know if that made him feel better or not. He nodded, dazed. “Okay.”
“You look sick.”
Because he had no idea what she was thinking. He barely knew what he was thinking.
“I’ve been downing water and soda since I got here. So I have to pee.” She laughed lightly. Lightly, during one of the heaviest moments of his life. “I’m going to take as many of them as I can so we’ll know for sure. And then we can talk.”
He braced one foot against the door to keep from passing out.
Kimber came to him, feathering her fingers into his hair. “I won’t do anything without you. No matter what the tests say.”
Her words cracked him open, split him in two like a dividing continent. The offer meant more than she knew. Rachel had robbed him of the opportunity to decide with her the best thing for all of them. She hadn’t waited for him to offer any alternatives. She’d taken the option from him like he hadn’t had a vested interest in their baby.
Kimber may not know how deeply her offer affected him, but he meant to show her. Straightening, he speared his hands into her hair and kissed her. A deep, intimate kiss, thanking her, drinking her in, and letting her know he’d be here for her as well.
She ended the kiss with a wiggle. “Gotta go.” Reluctantly, he released her and stepped aside, allowing her to shut him out of the bathroom.
At the edge of the bed, he sat, elbows on his thighs, thumbs pressing against his closed eyelids. Dear heavenly Father, came the automatic thought. It was the way his mother had always started her prayers. Only he didn’t know what to say next. He didn’t know whether to pray for positive or negative results on those tests. And he didn’t know if Kimber was behind the bathroom door hoping for the opposite of whatever he prayed for.
Mind a confused canvas of colors and shapes, Landon blew out a breath, lifted his chin to take in the ceiling above him, and, on a sigh, uttered a simple, “Help me do the right thing.”
* * *
Kimber lined up the three tests she’d managed to saturate. She’d recapped the lids and washed her hands, leaving them to rest. She checked her teeth, straightened her clothes, and fluffed her hair.
The stalling wasn’t necessary. Every package said to allow two to five minutes for results, but her results had appeared instantly. She ran a finger along the bottoms of the sticks. Two lines, two lines, and this one actually read Pregnant, in case she’d misinterpreted the whole double-line thing.