"Yeah, but you're not here anymore. I have to live without you."
Her chest ached at the tone of his voice and the fact that there was nothing she could do to relieve his suffering. It also hurt because she had lost him as well.
"I'm really going to miss you," she said.
"Me, too." He rubbed his face again. "I mean... I miss you already. I'm sick from it. On some level... hell, I thought we were going to end up together, you and me. Felt like destiny. Shit, you were the only woman I knew who was as strong as I was. But yeah... guess it wasn't meant to be. Plans of mice and men and all that shit."
"There's probably someone out there even better."
"Oh, yeah? Gimme her number before you go back to heaven."
Jane smiled a little, then got serious. "You're not going to do anything stupid, right?"
"You mean kill myself? Nah. But I can't promise you I won't get sloppy drunk a lot over the next couple of months."
"Just do it in private. You have a reputation as a son of a bitch to uphold."
He smirked a little. "What would the department think."
"Exactly." There was a stretch of silence. "I'd better go."
He stared across the room at her. "God, it feels like you're really here."
"I'm not. This is just a dream." She let herself start to fade as tears landed on her cheeks. "Bye, Manny, my dear friend."
He lifted his hand and spoke through what was clearly a tight throat. "Come back and see me sometime."
"Maybe."
"Please."
"We'll see."
Funny, though, as she dissipated, she had the oddest sense that she was going to see him again.
Yeah, it was weird. Just like that vision of the car accident as well as the feeling she'd had that she wasn't going to be at St. Francis anymore, she knew that she and Manny Manello were going to cross paths once more.
The thought eased her. She hated leaving him behind. She really did.
Epilogue
One week later...
Vishous took the hot chocolate from the stove and turned the burner off. As he poured the cocoa into a mug, he heard a yelp and an, "Oh, my God!"
Across the mansion's kitchen he saw Rhage standing halfway inside of Jane, as if she were a pool he'd waded into. The two of them leaped apart just as Vishous bared his teeth and growled at his brother.
Rhage held his hands up. "I didn't see her! Honest!"
Jane laughed. "It's not his fault. I wasn't concentrating, so I faded - "
V cut her off. "Rhage is going to be more careful, aren't you, my brother."
The implication being either the male would be, or he'd end up in traction.
"Yeah, absolutely. Shit."
"Glad you see it my way." Vishous picked up the mug, took it to Jane, and handed it to her. As she blew across the surface, he kissed her on the neck. Then did a little nuzzling.
To him she was just as she always had felt, but to others she was a thing of a different sort. She wore clothes, but if she wasn't keeping herself solid and someone bumped into her, the fabrics compressed like nothing was inside of them, and the person who was in her path basically stepped through her.
It was a little strange. Plus, if it happened to be one of his brothers, V's territoriality got triggered like you read about. The thing was, though, this was the new reality, so everyone had to deal. He and Jane were both making the transition to her new situation, and it wasn't always easy.
But who the f**k cared? They had each other.
"So you're going to Safe Place today?" he asked her.
"Yeah, my first day at my new job. Can't wait!" Jane's eyes shone. "Then I'm coming back here to put in equipment orders for my clinic. I've decided to take on two doggen and train them as nurses. I think that's the best thing to do for security purposes..."
As Jane talked about her plans for the Brotherhood's clinic and what she was going to do for Safe Place, V started to smile.
"What?" she said. She glanced down at herself, brushed her white coat off, then looked behind her.
"Come here, female." He pulled her up against him and dropped his head. "I mention lately how sexy your brain is?"
"You were mostly interested in something else this afternoon, so no."
He laughed at her wry smile. "I was a little preoccupied, wasn't I?"
"Mmm, yes."
"I'm going to stop by Safe Place later, true?"
"Good. I think Marissa's got a network problem she wanted to talk to you about."
Without even being aware of doing it, he tucked her in close and just hugged her. This was exactly what he'd wanted, this intermingling of lives, this closeness, this common purpose. The two of them, together.
"Are you okay?" she said softly so no one else could hear.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." He put his mouth next to her ear. "It's just... I'm not used to this."
"Used to what?"
"Feeling... shit, I don't know." He pulled back, all weirded out that he was so sappy. "Never mind..."
"You can't get used to feeling like things are okay?"
He nodded because he didn't trust his voice.
She put her hand on his face. "You'll get used it. Just like I will."
"Sire? I beg your pardon?"
V glanced over at Fritz. "Hey, my man, what's doing?"
The doggen bowed. "I have what you asked for. I left it in the foyer."
"Excellent. Thanks." He kissed Jane. "So I'll see you later?"
"Absolutely."
He could feel her eyes on him as he left, and he liked it. He liked everything. He -
Well, shit. He was just full of the joys of spring, wasn't he?
As he emerged into the foyer, he found what Fritz had left for him on the table by the foot of the grand staircase. At first he wasn't sure quite how to handle the thing... he didn't want to break it. In the end he held it gently in his hands and went into the library. He shut the double doors with his mind and sent a request to the Other Side.
Yeah, sure, he wasn't following the rules of proper dress, but then, he was a little preoccupied with what was in his hands.
When permission was granted, he dematerialized to the Scribe Virgin's courtyard and was greeted by the same Chosen as the last time he'd been there. Amalya began to bow, but looked up as a chirping sound came from his carefully cupped palms.
"What have you brought?" she whispered.
"Little present. Nothing much." He walked over to the white tree with the white blossoms and opened his hands. The parakeet leaped free and took to a branch as if it knew that was its home now.
The brilliant yellow bird shuffled up and down the pale arm of the tree, its little feet gripping and releasing, gripping and releasing. It pecked at a blossom, let out a trill... brought a foot up and pedaled its neck.
V put his hands on his hips and measured how much space there was between all the blossoms on all the branches. He was going to have to bring over a shitload of birds.
The Chosen's voice was rife with emotion. "She gave them up for you."
"Yeah. And I'm bringing her new ones."
"But the sacrifice - "
"Has been made. What's going on this tree is a gift." He looked over his shoulder. "I'm going to fill it up whether she likes it or not. It's her choice what she does with them."
The Chosen's eyes gleamed with gratitude. "She will keep them. And they will keep her from her solitude."
V took a deep breath. "Yeah. Good. Because..."
He let the word drift and the Chosen said gently, "You don't have to say it."
He cleared his throat. "So you'll tell her they're from me?"
"I won't have to. Who else but her son would do such a kindness?"
Vishous glanced back at the lone yellow bird in the midst of the white tree. He pictured the branches filled once again.
"True," he said.
Without another word he dematerialized back to the life he'd been given, the life he was leading... the life he now, and for the first time, was grateful he'd been born into.