Phoebe didn’t believe that for a second. She wanted to point out that Lucy and Tommy were right here and available to adopt. Or, if not them, then there were hundreds of other children desperate to belong. But she didn’t say anything. C.J. already knew. Maybe she was one of those women who felt she could only bond with a baby or a very young child.
“Considering all you’ve been through, it was really nice of you and your husband to agree to take care of Tommy and Lucy for the week.”
C.J. shook her head. “I didn’t want to.” She laughed harshly. “Don’t I sound like a bitch? But it’s true. Thad talked me into it. Now that we’re here,” she said as she glanced at Phoebe, “I tell myself that we’re doing something nice, and that’s a good thing. But I can’t help being angry about how unfair it all has been.”
Phoebe wanted to say it was unfair for the kids, too. None of them had asked to be orphaned. None of them had asked to be alone. She still remembered every birthday she’d spent after her parents had died. That had always been the worst day.
Oh, sure, there was a party, a cake and a few presents, but it wasn’t the same. There hadn’t been anyone to hold her and talk about the future and love her. There hadn’t been cards from grandparents and dinners with aunts and uncles. No older cousins had teased her, no younger cousins had gotten in the way. There hadn’t been any family at all. After all this time, that was still true for her.
* * *
LATE THAT MORNING Phoebe found herself riding next to Zane. She wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened. Okay, maybe after they’d stopped for a bathroom break she might have maneuvered Rocky kind of close to Zane so that when they started out again, his was the horse Rocky followed. But she hadn’t been sure the plan would work. And now that she was bouncing along beside him, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say.
The day was still beautiful with clear skies and a slight nip in the air. She could smell the trees and caught occasional whiffs of cattle. Her butt hurt, but not enough to distract her from the pleasure of being so close to Zane. It was like being sixteen again and assigned to her crush’s study group. The afternoon practically crackled with possibilities.
She wondered if he was thinking about their kiss. Had he relived it over and over again, as she had? Not that there was a way to ask. She might find Zane a little more approachable than she had when she’d first met him, but he wasn’t exactly an open and friendly guy. Even if he was, she doubted she would be comfortable plopping down next to him and saying, “How about that kiss? Pretty amazing, huh?”
It had been amazing. Erotic, exciting, arousing and bone-melting. Kissing him didn’t just make her want to make love with him—although she was certainly becoming more open to the possibility—it made her want to get to know him. She wanted to find out about the man behind the handsome face. Who was Zane Nicholson and what did he dream about? What made him happy and what made him sad? Had he ever been in love or had his heart broken? Had he—
Phoebe mentally backtracked. Maybe she didn’t want to know about women Zane had loved. She had a bad feeling that when compared with them, she would come up short. Not that she wanted him to fall in love with her. She barely knew the man. But still, there was something about him. Something that made her wonder about the potential for more.
“You’re quiet,” Zane said.
As she wasn’t even sure he’d known she was riding sort of next to him and a little behind, she jumped slightly. Rocky turned around to glare at her, as if reminding her that it was his back her fanny thumped on.
She patted his neck by way of apology and considered Zane’s statement.
“I didn’t want to interrupt if you were thinking about something important.” Like them. Like what had happened last night. Like the fact that he’d had his hands on her bare ass and his fingers between her legs. A shivery tingle twisted low in her stomach at the memory.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.
For a second Phoebe was terrified that she’d spoken her thoughts out loud. Heat flared on her cheeks, and she ducked her head.
“You’d said you hadn’t been on a horse before. Do you like it?”
Cool, sweet relief trickled through her. Was she enjoying herself on the cattle drive? Of course.
She sucked in a breath, then exhaled slowly. “Rocky’s being very patient with me,” she said. “Sometimes when I mess up he gives me this look that tells me I’m annoying him, but otherwise we’re getting along.”
She glanced at Zane and saw he was staring at her with a look of incomprehension.
“Don’t you and Tango get along?” she asked.
“We’re best friends.”
She thought there might be a little sarcasm in his voice, but she ignored it. “Are the cattle doing okay? Is it healthy for them to walk this much every day?”
“Do you think they should be riding instead?”
“I don’t know. You’re the cattle expert.”
“They’re fine. As long as we keep the pace slow, they’ll even put on weight. They’re grazing on good quality land.” He smiled. “For them it’s a four-star restaurant.”
Phoebe’s heart hitched a little as Zane’s mouth curved up. His eyes crinkled at the corners, and his face relaxed.
“Do they have names?” she asked.
To his credit, his smile only wavered a little. “Just Manny. He’s the lead steer.”