Gladys shrugged. “When people live together, they clash from time to time. Chase is still a teenager. That can be a difficult time. Ephraim and I had three daughters, so I’m used to the yelling.”
“Three.” Zane didn’t want to think about that. He had enough trouble with one. Maybe girls were simpler.
“Kids are funny creatures,” the older woman said as she pushed a marshmallow onto a stick and held it close to the dying fire. “Or maybe it’s just folks in general. Some are easy to love and some are hard.”
She glanced at Zane and smiled. “Loving Ephraim was the easiest part of my life. That’s why they call it ‘falling in love,’ ’cause when it’s right, it’s as effortless as falling...” Her voice trailed off and she sighed.
“We were together since we weren’t much older than Chase. We grew up together, really, learning what worked and what made us want to kill each other. He yielded where I wanted to be stubborn, and he stood his ground when I wanted to bend. I trusted that man heart and soul. But kids. That’s a whole different kind of love.”
Zane shifted uncomfortably, suddenly aware that he was sitting on hard ground. Whatever Gladys had to say, he didn’t want to hear it. Not because he was afraid, but because he was uneasy. In his world, no one talked about anything more intimate than problems on the ranch and Chase’s latest screwup.
Gladys pulled off the toasted marshmallow and took a bite.
“We raised our three exactly the same,” she said when she’d chewed and swallowed. “Same house, same parents, same ideas, same schools. Yet they all turned out different. Two were just fine. But Natalie.” Gladys shook her head. “When she was little, Ephraim used to say she had a bit of the devil in her. I suppose that’s true. Not a day went by that Natalie didn’t try to raise some hell.”
Zane didn’t know what to say. He wished someone would join them and change the subject. Barring that, he tried to think of something relevant to add to the conversation.
Finally he cleared his throat. “That must have been hard on you and Ephraim.”
Gladys nodded. “She was our middle child. Folks said they were the easiest, the peacemakers. But not Natalie. She was stealing candy before she was eight and doing drugs by the time she was twelve. We tried everything. Rehab, tough love, jail time, threats, bribes. She’d get clean for a while, and then she’d fall back into it. We tried not loving her and loving her too much. She failed at two marriages, drove while high and killed her only child. I think that’s what pushed her over the edge. Knowing she’d killed her boy. Two weeks later, Natalie died of an overdose. That was in ’98.”
Zane opened his mouth, then closed it. He’d expected Gladys to give him some tired advice, not share such a personal tragedy.
“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling as lame as he sounded.
“It was a time of sorrow,” Gladys said. “The pain of it nearly ended things for me and Ephraim. There was so much guilt, so much need. We about sucked the life out of each other.”
“Your marriage was in trouble?” Zane said before he could stop himself. “But the way you talk about him...”
“We managed to find our way back to each other. It took time and hard work. I lost him in ’04, but I take comfort knowing that when he passed, he knew how much I loved him without a doubt.” She threw her stick into the fire. “Just like Natalie needed us to love her, no matter what. And we did. Even when we had to turn our backs on her. Even when she died.”
Gladys looked at Zane. “You love Chase. We can all see that. But he tests your patience. I know these seem like dark times, but he’s a good kid. He’ll get through it. Sometimes they take the easy road and sometimes they take the hard one, but either way, our job is to love them and to keep on trying.”
Zane didn’t know what he felt about his brother. He knew he wanted to protect Chase as much as he could, keep him from making the same mistakes that had screwed up Zane’s life. Was that love? He couldn’t relate to what Gladys said about her relationship with her kids.
“My old man wasn’t like you and Ephraim,” he said at last. “He was hard and distant most of the time. He chewed my ass on a regular basis. The only person who seemed to matter, who touched him, was my mom. He was devoted to her.”
Gladys drew her penciled-in eyebrows together. “I know the kind you’re talking about. They seem to only have room in their heart for one person. Parents do that some with their kids—love one and ignore the rest. I never could understand it.”
Zane swallowed. He didn’t talk about personal stuff, not with anyone and certainly not with one of the most notorious gossips in Fool’s Gold. Yet now that he’d started speaking, he couldn’t make himself stop.
“I could handle most of it,” he said. “What really got to me was that he would never let me apologize when I screwed up. That was the worst. The anger, the few times he beat the crap out of me, those didn’t matter as much. It was not being able to make it right.”
Those times still haunted him.
Gladys nodded slowly. “Forgiveness is a gift given by those with a full heart. To see a mistake and still love the person, I guess that’s the best each of us can be. I know I got it right with my other two kids. With Natalie...” She paused and stared into the fire. “I tried. Sometimes I made it work and sometimes I didn’t.”