Every Sweet Regret (Orchid Valley 2)

I swipe at my tears with my palms. “She’s the one he’s been confiding in. Not me. I told myself what was happening between us meant something because of those online conversations, but all we’ve been doing is screwing around.”

Dean’s jaw is hard. “I trusted him. I thought he cared about you. He’s supposed to protect you, and he’s been taking advantage of you.”

Savvy stands and takes Dean by the forearm. “Chill out, Bruce Banner. We don’t like you when you’re angry.”

He scowls at her. “I’m not hulking out. She’s my sister.”

“She’s also a grown woman who can sleep with who she wants.” She tosses her purse on the counter, then lowers herself back onto the floor with me. She holds my gaze as she talks. “You’ve been talking to Kace on Random, but until today you assumed he knew it was you because you didn’t know Abbi had changed your picture. And whatever you two have talked about on there has been part of the way you feel about him and part of your physical relationship—for you. But he . . . definitely doesn’t know you’re the girl he’s talking to? Do I have this right?”

“He definitely doesn’t know,” Dean says. “At least, he didn’t when he last talked to us about Itsy.”

I sniffle, and Dean hands me a tissue. “Thanks,” I whisper.

“You’re welcome,” he growls, and I almost laugh, because he does sound a little like the Hulk right now.

“Okay,” Savvy says, all calm and collected. I’m jealous of her chill. No, I’m jealous of her choices. She told Alec they could only be friends, and now she’s the one with a whole, healthy heart and I’m bleeding out. “I’m sorry I’m not understanding, baby girl, but why can’t you just tell him?”

“Just tell him.” Dean stops, blows out a breath, and nods. “Just tell him the truth. This doesn’t have to be a thing.”

Because I told him my secrets once, and if I tell him in person, it’ll be like confessing the truth all over again. Because he changed how he felt about Itsy after she told him—after I told him—about the videos. Because I’m a coward and don’t want him to know the truth now that I know how he’ll feel about it. Deal breaker.

“Stella?” Savvy whispers. “Talk to me.”

“I should tell him, but I’d do anything if it meant I didn’t have to.” I nod, and more tears spill down my cheeks. I swallow. “I thought he liked me, but he really liked her. Until he didn’t like her because of her secrets, and then he only wanted me, but not for anything but sex.”

“What are these big secrets, anyway?” Dean asks.

I shake my head. I just can’t go there with my brother. Not tonight. Not ever.

“So if I’m following,” Savvy says, “you’re jealous of . . . yourself?”

Dean frowns down at me like I’m a perplexing puzzle. “That’s fucked up, Stell.”

“What if he thinks I did this on purpose? What if he doesn’t believe that I thought he knew he was talking to me?”

“Oh my goodness, baby girl,” Savvy says. “You’re a wreck. He’ll believe it was a mistake.”

But what if he never looks at me the same because of what he knows about me now?

My phone buzzes beside me, and Savvy scoops it up, then hands it to me so I can unlock it. I numbly type in my passcode without taking it from her.

“It’s a text from Kace,” she says, cringing. “There are, like, four messages here. He says Amy’s gone. He wants to know when you’ll be there. Then he’s asking if you’re okay. He’s worried.” It buzzes again, and Savvy’s eyes widen and she coughs. “Well, okay.”

“What?” Dean asks. “What does it say?”

Savvy glares at him. “Stay in your lane.”

“She’s my sister,” he whines.

Savvy hands the phone to me so I can see Kace’s latest text. Please tell me you’re still coming over. An empty house means I finally get to hear you scream when I make you come.

Dean stoops behind me and reads over my shoulder.

Savvy sighs.

“Ugh!” Dean stands and then paces. “Imma fucking kill that bastard.”

“If you kill him, make it because he hurt Stell and not because he wants to pleasure her, ’kay?” She levels her calm eyes on me. “You also have a notification that BigHands69 has messaged you on Random. Should I open it?”

I shrug. Does it matter?

Savvy taps and swipes. Her face falls. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

I grab the phone to see the message.

GoodHands69: Hey, this isn’t an easy message to write, but it’s past time. I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, but I can’t split my attention between two special women anymore. I’m sure you’ll find someone good, someone who isn’t going to get hung up on your past. Don’t give up, okay?Meaning he’s hung up on my past, or meaning he just wants me? And what a stupid question when I already know the answer. I shove the phone back at Savvy and hug my legs.