To Catch A Player
Page 52
“Well? What is all this?”
“This—” He glanced around the kitchen with a smile. “This is the beginning of an apology. A much-needed one that you do deserve, dammit.”
I shook my head, unsure what else to say about a moment that was quickly spiraling out of control. “Jackson, seriously.”
“No, dammit, it’s your turn to listen.”
My mouth snapped shut at the authority in his voice and I felt my body respond immediately. The traitor. “I’m listening,” I told him, and made a big display of walking around the kitchen table so my back was against the wall as I listened.
“I was wrong a year ago for not reaching out to you and telling you what was going on with me. It was childish and stupid and, honestly, I really believed I learned my lesson.”
A snort of disbelief escaped at those words. “Impossible.”
“It’s true,” he insisted and took a step forward, stopping short when I raised a hand to keep some distance between us.
“You brought Jarrod to Tulip and still decided to ignore me. To say, screw Reese, she’ll understand. She doesn’t matter.”
“You do matter!”
I smiled. “I don’t, Jackson. I don’t matter to you, and you know what? That’s all right.”
“The hell it is,” he growled and stepped forward until only my kitchen table was between us. “You matter to me a lot. A hell of a lot, actually, and that’s why I, apparently, didn’t learn the lesson good enough.”
“You’re not making any sense, and it’s been a long day. Really, a long few weeks, so…” I stood, hoping to get my point across, and when Jackson didn’t budge, I did. Heading toward the front door. The exit.
Toward goodbye forever.
“I went to check on Ma and Steve.” He let the words sink in until my feet stopped moving before he went on. “He’s still ornery and a terrible patient, but he made me see things in a different light.” A bitter laugh escaped. “Turns out he’s a better boyfriend than me.”
My brows arched. “Boyfriend?”
“Wishful thinking?” He asked, and I shrugged playfully. But my mind wasn’t fully made up yet, no matter what my heart thought. “Ma and Steve’s relationship messed me up worse than I realized, and in Mexico I knew I wouldn’t be any good to you unless I could let it go.”
“You went there… for me?”
“That’s what I’m saying, Reese.” Jackson’s deep voice was a mixture of exasperation and affection, and the look in his eyes caused butterflies to take flight in my belly. “I care about you. A lot. I’m pretty sure this nauseous feeling in my belly is love.”
I snorted and shook my head even as the butterflies moved north, fluttering like crazy in my chest and my throat. “That’s how you tell me? That being in love with me makes you sick to your stomach?”
“That’s not… no. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying I love you, Reese. I’m in love with you, full stop. End of sentence. End of sentiment.”
Jackson Slater was in love with me. How could that be true? It just didn’t seem like something that was true, that could even be true. “Are you sure this isn’t guilt? Or desire?”
“I’m sure. I feel like an asshole for making you worry and think the worst. I always want you, Reese. Every damn second of every damn day, I think about feeling your bare skin against mine. About seeing you smile up at me and wrap your legs around me as ecstasy pours through your body. That’s a constant feeling, just like the love I have for you. Here.”
“Jackson.” His words were sweet and kind, exactly the kind of words a girl like me longed to hear all her life. “Don’t say it if you’re not sure.”
He growled and braced his forearms on the kitchen table. “I’m sure as shit, Reese. I love you. Want me to take out an ad in the Gazette? Better yet, I’ll tell the whole world.” He pulled out his phone and I watched in morbid fascination as his thumbs flew over the on screen keyboard. “There you go.”
I leaned in and squinted at the small words. “Dear Meddling Matchmakers, congratulations. Your meddling has worked. I am madly in love with Reese St. James. Waiting to hear if she feels the same. Will post status updates as they occur.” I flashed a look at him at the last sentence.
“That’s a pretty big declaration.”
“It’s not big enough, Reese. I would do anything—hell, I will do anything you need to believe that my heart belongs to you. Anything.”
I believed him. Not because I wanted to, even though I really did. I believed him because the love in his hazel eyes was more intoxicating than any I’d ever seen aimed in my direction. All those times I imagined a man admiring my girl-next-door looks or extra curves and never once had they ever looked like that.