“I’m not punishing you, Sophie.” His words were full of exasperation, and I could physically feel myself shrinking under that tone, something I promised myself I would never, ever do again.
“It feels that way.”
“Yeah well maybe for once in our friendship, I’m looking out for myself first, or did thought never occur to you? Did you think we could just go back to movie nights after I told you that I was in love with you? That it wouldn’t hurt one damn bit?”
I kind of did, but that was obviously not what he wanted to hear. “No, but I didn’t think it would mean…this.”
“Too bad. It took me a long time to decide to speak up about my feelings because, silly me, I thought there was a spark of something between us. Now that I know it was completely one-sided, I need time to get past that. I need to get back to a place where I can see you as just a friend.”
“But you’re not just my friend, Stone. You are so much more than that. We are.”
He shook his head. “No, we’re not Sophie. We are friends, best friends, but that’s all we are. And I’m trying to be okay with that.”
“So, we can’t see each other at all while that happens?”
“Sophie,” he growled. “Stop. Just stop. Please.”
“No, I don’t think I will.”
“Because it’s all about you, right? As always.”
I gasped at his words, falling back against my chair like he’d struck me. “What? No, it’s not about me, this is all about you.”
“No,” he turned and folded his arms across his wide chest and leaned against the sink, legs crossed at the ankles. “I’m asking you to respect my need for space after you shot me down, and somehow this is all about you and what you want. When is it ever going to be about what I want, Sophie? When are you going to put my needs first?”
“What? I…do.” Don’t I?
He laughed. “Even you’re not sure if that’s true. If I asked Mara out and she said no, do you think she would stop me on the street to find out why I’ve been avoiding The Bread Box? No, she would understand, and let it go. But not you.”
“But she’s not your best friend. I am.”
“If that’s actually true, why can’t you give me what I need right now? All I’m asking for is space, for awhile. Not forever.”
“It already feels like forever,” I pouted. “I don’t know what to do with my free time because I’m usually with you.”
“Then maybe it’s time you stop letting your parents’ shitty behavior influence your life and get out there, maybe find a guy you actually want to be with.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” He nodded and my stomach twisted into knots at his easy answer. “You’re dating?”
“I’ve always dated, Soph, I just don’t talk about it with you. For obvious reasons.” Stone shrugged and began drying the pots and pans. “But since that doesn’t matter anymore, sure. I met a woman a couple of nights ago. She was beautiful and smart and funny.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“On the surface, it was. But there was just no chemistry between us. It happens.” His broad shoulders rose and then fell in a casual shrug, as if he was enjoying himself.
“You’re trying to make me jealous, aren’t you?”
Stone barked out a laugh and took a few steps forward until only the kitchen table stood between us. He leaned down until we were eye to eye and flashed a bittersweet smile. “If I had the power to make you jealous, I would. But your feelings for me are strictly platonic, so what would be the point?”
He was right. Wasn’t he? “I don’t like this, Stone.”
“Neither do I, but this is where we are.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t believe that.” I was dying without my best friend. I didn’t like going days and days without seeing his face or hearing his voice. I didn’t want another movie night to pass where Stone and I weren’t together. “I need you.”
“Yeah, I get that Sophie, but I have needs too.”
“You’re talking about sex.” And just like that the image of Stone naked in my bathroom came back and heat flared in my veins. Desire pooled deep in my belly and I had to slam my knees together to stop the pulsing between my thighs.
“No, I’m talking about the future. I’m talking about falling in love like Eva and Oliver. I’m talking about expecting a child like Liam and Olive. I’m talking about everything that comes next. I want all of it Sophie, which means I can’t spend all my time with you and have that.”
“But I can help-,” I froze at the furious expression on his face.
“I don’t need or want your help, other than for you to give me the space I need to go after my hopes and dreams.” The pleading tone in his voice was like a blow straight to my chest. “I always thought you were going to be part of those hopes and dreams Soph, but you don’t want that. Not with me. I need to find a woman who wants me, Stone the man, not the trusted best friend.”