“Nothing. Jealousy doesn’t mean a damn thing if she’s not prepared to do anything about it, and she’s not.” Not with me, anyway. And that’s what I had to keep telling myself, that it didn’t matter really how Sophie felt, because she wasn’t prepared to take the next step. She didn’t want my kisses, and she didn’t want a date with me. She wanted exactly nothing from me.
Which meant I needed to stop worrying about Sophie. “Care for a twirl around the dance floor?”
“You can dance?” The surprise in her question didn’t bother me.
“I can. Sophie was too shy to take classes on her own back in the sixth grade so I went with her. The lessons stuck.”
Babs put her hand in mine and stood. “Damn you really are just too good to be true. Too bad your heart belongs to someone else.”
“My heart belongs to me Babs, but tonight it belongs to you. Now let’s go cut a rug.” I was determined to enjoy myself, to let all thoughts of Sophie go, starting tonight.
Right this moment.SophieOf course he brought Babs. Of course he did! Even though I had no right to be upset about it, to really feel any kind of way about it, a red hot anger went through me at the sight of them together, laughing and smiling and having a grand ol’ time. Looking like the perfect little couple with their perfect bodies and straight white, perfect smiles.
And Babs looked incredible in a body hugging red dress that fell just below the knee in a nod towards modesty. Her shoes were killer and her hair and makeup were, what else, perfect.
That should be me. The thought came out of nowhere, and it pulled me up short. Should it be me? He wanted me and I turned him away, told him to go find someone who could give him what he wanted in life. And I’d meant it. I wanted Stone to have his big dreams of a wife and children.
I just didn’t realize it would hurt quite so much.
“Breathe honey, you look like you’re about to pop a blood vessel.” Eva’s voice calmed me as she rubbed soothing circles in the center of my back. “Two bourbons. Neat, please.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need a drink Eva.”
“I know. You need two. Drink up.” She shoved one glass in my hand and nodded for me to do as she said. “This isn’t healthy.”
“Yes, I’m aware. But they just look so damn perfect together!” I know how that sounded and still, I meant the words.
Eva let out a half-hearted laugh. “Would you rather she be hideous? Don’t answer that,” she said with a more genuine laugh. “This is what you wanted, what you basically asked for when you rejected him. Regardless of your reasons.”
“I know,” I told her as my shoulders fell in resignation. “But it still hurts. It totally sucks too.”
“I know it does,” she said gently. Almost too gently for the brutally honest friend I’d come to know and love. “But it’s what you wanted. Right?”
“Yes?” It was a simple enough question, yet the answer wasn’t quite as easy.
Eva laughed and squeezed my shoulder. “Try that again, this time with more certainty.”
I sucked in a deep breath and squared my shoulders before turning to sneak a glance at Stone and Babs for what felt like the millionth time that night. They were laughing and smiling, looking absolutely perfect.
“Yes, I said that’s what I wanted, but now I’m not so sure.”
“That’s better,” Eva said, her tone encouraging. “And?”
“And what?” I turned to her, brows furrowed at her question. Was there more after the uncertainty?
“And you want…?” She rolled her wrist as if I was supposed to complete the thought.
“I don’t know what I want, Eva. That’s the problem.”
She sighed, exasperated and grabbed my shoulders, turning my body until I was looking right at Stone twirling Babs around the dance floor.
“No sweetheart, the problem is that you think you have time. You’re so used to Stone being there, right at your side, that you never thought you’d lose him. I’d wager you didn’t even think it was possible. But look at that. Look at them.”
“I am,” I growled, feeling anger and jealousy grow in the pit of my stomach, a toxic concoction that turned my insides to acid. “I can’t help but look, they’re just so perfect.”
“They’re not,” she insisted. “They are just two good looking people having a good time together.”
“Thanks,” I grumbled and turned to glare at my friend. “That’s a big help.”
Eva rolled her gray eyes and sighed. Heavily. “This is my engagement party, Soph and I should be celebrating finding a good man to love. Instead I’m here with you, trying to convince you to do the thing you already know you should be doing. Go. Get. Your. Man.” She gave me a little shove and I almost fell over a passing server before I turned to give her a glare.