That was until Joss had walked back into his life a week ago.
Round and round his mind went. He’d stop ruminating about her for a second, only to start thinking about her again. He sighed and rearranged the burgers on the grill for even cooking. Somehow, she had gotten under his skin. Maybe it was how she’d melted under his touch. Or how she’d responded so beautifully to him. For the last year, he’d searched for the same high he’d gotten with her, only to be let down time and time again. Others didn’t compare. Didn’t even come close.
As the food on the tray continued to vanish, he knew he needed to put a stop to this, and he had to do it tonight. She controlled him too much. He thought about her too often. This was his test, and he couldn’t fail. Surely, if he could stand being around her outside of work, he could gain control of the lust running rampant within.
With those thoughts on his mind, he gave the patties one last flip, then found Grey openly eye fucking Holly. “Please do your best to behave tonight,” he told him sternly.
Grey slowly looked at him, one eyebrow arching. “And do you plan to behave yourself?”
“You know I have to.”
Grey pushed away from the pole he leaned against and grinned. “Luckily for me, I’m not a cop, and I choose that sexy little blonde over there.” He pulled on the hem of his shirt, straightening it, and strode off, eyes set on Holly.
Maddox shook his head, yet wasn’t concerned. Years of friendship had taught Maddox to trust whatever Grey did. Even if he ended up taking one of Maddox’s rookies home, she’d leave his house feeling respected and satisfied. If it didn’t affect his job, Maddox didn’t care who screwed, and he never understood why the police department frowned upon relationships between cops.
Life happened, and so did love. Why fight a natural thing?
“May I?”
Maddox turned toward the sweet, soft voice, instantly captivated by Joss’s soulful green eyes. He went from semi-hard to rock-hard so fast, he fought off a groan. “Yes, of course. Please, help yourself.” He gave her a gentle smile, hoping to hide the carnal thoughts racing through his mind, those of bending her over and thrusting himself deep inside her sexy, lush body until she was quivering her release. He cleared his throat. “Are you enjoying the party?”
“Very much so, thank you.” She smiled, scooping up the burger onto the bun on her plate. “You have a lovely home.”
The smile she gave him was so fake, it narrowed Maddox’s eyes. He craved the realness he’d seen in her before. That’s what had captured his thoughts over the last goddamn year. That’s what was in his head every time his lips touched another woman. Their smiles weren’t honest like hers. She’d appeared to hide nothing of herself, bared everything as if she didn’t owe the world a damn thing. That transparency had mindfucked him.
He stared at her now, noting how she squeezed her plate tightly, knuckles turning white, telling him that she was doing her best not to shake. Another thing that had made his restraint even more difficult. She didn’t hide how much she still wanted him. Her desire was there in her rosy cheeks and her parted lips and her deep breaths.
“So…um…thanks for the burger…and for the party.” She lifted her head, and her light eyes met his.
The energy pinging between them was like a punch to his chest. His muscles tensed, breath halted. The softness, the yearning, the ache he so desperately felt, too, all crossed her expression, hardening him to steel. For a year, he’d forced himself to believe that he’d imagined this potent energy between them. That it was inconceivable to think their connection held this much power. Yet there it was, right there in front of him. Tangible. Intense. Real. His nostrils flared as he inhaled the sweet scent that had haunted him.
“Oh, shit,” she gasped, breaking eye contact.
Without saying anything more, but not needing to because her subsequent silence spoke volumes about her desires, she scrambled away.
Maddox clenched his jaw muscles, watching the way she stiffly walked away. Fuck, he understood the need coursing through her. The same urgency pulsed through him. Could he trust her? He’d read the reports and the glowing recommendations she’d received. She didn’t seem flaky or a woman out to screw over her superior.
Even if he could breathe again, the spell she’d cast over him wasn’t broken. The addiction ran wildly out of control in the same way it had when he’d first met her on that dance floor. That’s when he knew an undeniable truth.
This girl didn’t only make him want to break his rules.