Heartbreaker: A Filthy Dirty Love Novel

Eric nodded. “Maddox had originally asked for a transfer, but earlier yesterday, the captain in the east stepped down. We both feel it’s also in your best interests for him to transfer out of the west. Did I make the wrong decision by allowing this promotion to happen?”

She let the pain roll through her once more before she stuffed it back into that place where all women stuff their heartache. “No, it’s the right decision, and he deserves to be captain.”

Everything was as it should be, at least from the outside. She was strong, taking control of her life, not letting a man lead her way. She fought for what she wanted, never accepting less than she deserved.

Even so, it didn’t mean she had to like it.

Being the woman she thought she wanted to be somehow felt all wrong without Maddox.

* * *

Later that night, Joss entered the Frisky Frikin’ with Emilia and Troy, right as the kickoff began on the television screens hung on the wood-paneled walls. She was ready to drink her sorrows away. Sometimes, that was all a woman could do after life disappointed her. Perhaps it was a bad time to realize how much she wanted Maddox in her life. Maybe, deep down, she had hoped that when she walked away, he would wake the hell up and change his mind about relationships. That had never happened. Not even after he transferred to a new station where the conflict lessened. Not even after Eric had so clearly given his approval of them being together. Love sucked. Relationships sucked. Men sucked. She began to regret coming to the pub.

Tonight, as they strode past the bar toward the tables, she found the pub full of cops that she’d met through her father either randomly or at some of the events the police put on in the community. There were a few cops from the west, too. Trying her best not to mope, she followed behind Emilia and Troy as they moved to an empty table. The ruckus from the crowd after the touchdown was a welcome blessing. She couldn’t get too lost in her dark thoughts.

Even though Maddox said drinking wasn’t a good idea, and she agreed with him, she knew she wasn’t drinking because of the death a few days ago. She drank because she had fallen for a guy with huge commitment issues when she’d promised herself that wouldn’t happen. Again, love sucked. Relationships sucked. Men sucked.

Troy stopped at one of the round tables and dropped down onto the first stool, followed by Emilia. Joss slid onto her stool across from them—a perfect third wheel. Depressing as shit, but she swallowed the discomfort and knew in half an hour she’d forget all about it with the help of vodka.

Emilia picked up the wine list. Joss stared at them, wondering how they did it, and how they made love look so damn easy. Before she could think better of it, she said, “You guys are so lucky, do you know that? I mean, for cripe’s sake, you’ve been together since high school, and have somehow made it work.”

Troy’s brows rose before he quickly looked away toward the TV screens, obviously the only amount of girl talk he intended to do tonight.

“Okay, that kinda came out of nowhere.” Emilia laughed, placing the wine list back on the table. “Things weren’t always so easy, you know. I think every couple has some complications along the way. Don’t you think, Troy?”

He gave a pinched expression and nodded, glancing back to the television screens.

Emilia rolled her eyes at her husband before saying to Joss, “Honestly, I don’t think there’s a magic answer here for why we’ve worked out. I know people believe in soul mates and all that jazz, and while I think there’s some truth to finding the person that makes your soul light up, relationships are all about putting in the hard work. You both have to choose to be in it one hundred percent and then the rest kinda falls into place.”

“Exactly,” Joss agreed, placing her chin on her hand, trying very hard not to pout. “But what if the other half of the equation doesn’t want to?”

“I don’t see the waitress anywhere. I’ll go grab us drinks.” Troy rose and hurried off.

Joss snorted a laugh. “I think we scared him off.”

“Please. Any kind of in-depth conversation scares him off.” Emilia glanced at her hubby walking toward the bar before adding to Joss, “But that’s okay, because that emotionally unavailable teddy bear is all mine.” She drew in a big, deep breath before she spoke again, giving Joss a measured look. “Okay, so listen, I know I said falling in love with Maddox would be the worst thing ever, but I’m going to take that back.”

Joss’s brows rose. “Huh?”

“Oh, don’t look so shocked.” Emilia grinned. “I’ve been watching him, even though he doesn’t know it. I am the best friend, after all.” She gave a big smile, causing her eyes to twinkle. “And let me tell you, girl, he seems different with you.”