Pops was no help when it came to him either. Proud as fuck that he was mouthing off in the first place, not taking shit from anyone. Except him. I didn’t want Noah to grow up and be a troublemaker like I was. I wanted a better life for him, but there was only so much I could do. I wasn’t around a lot, I had to travel all over the place to make sure other chapters under Devil’s Rejects were running smoothly. Just when I thought things might slow down and I could find a balance, some goddamn normalcy, unexpected shit would happen, and I would be back on the road again. It had been two years since I became VP, and I was on the road more often than not.
Noah needed a role model in his life, someone to look up to. The scary thing was, I knew he wanted to be just like me.
“Why do you worry so much? All I do is walk into the clubhouse, go into your room, and wait for you. I barely see anyone on my way in and let’s face it, no one’s going to mess with me anyway, Creed. They know I’m yours,” she said, pulling me away from my thoughts.
“You ain’t mine, Autumn. You ain’t my property. I haven’t claimed you and ain’t plannin’ on doin’ it either. Not gonna fight wit’ you about this again. You’re beatin’ a dead fuckin’ horse,” I argued, taking off my cut, throwing it on the couch.
I had my own room at the clubhouse now, complete with a kitchenette and en suite bathroom. It wasn’t much, but it was mine, even though most nights when I was in town, I went home. Wanting to see how Ma was coping, and check on Noah. It was pointless really. I didn’t even recognize her anymore. She had aged at least ten years, her hair speckled with gray, wrinkles all along her once flawless face. She couldn’t have weighed more than a hundred pounds.
There was nothing left of the mother I used to know.
Now she was just a drunk.
Adding to the guilt that was buried deep in my fucking heart. I hadn’t walked back through the woods behind the clubhouse since the night that Luke was buried there so undignified. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
The dreams never stopped.
They became worse.
Only tallying all the lives, I had taken since.
Autumn walked over to where I stood by the counter, pressing her hands against my chest. Looking up at me. “That’s only because you’re so freaking stubborn. If you would just let us happen, you would see that we could make it work. I know your life story. I know what you do. I know exactly the kind of man you are, and I love you for it. Always have. I’ll wait as long as I have to, Creed Jameson. You’re worth it to me.” She stood on the tips of her toes, pecking me on the lips. Beckoning my mouth to open for her. Sliding her hands down my chest, toward my cock, never taking her eyes off mine.
I caught her wrists, pushing her back. “Ain’t gonna happen.”
She scoffed out, rolling her eyes. “Right. I forgot. You don’t need me for that. Do you?”
“I’m a man, Autumn,” I simply stated, causing her to pull her wrists from my grasp, and take a few steps back. Not expecting my reply. “Made you no goddamn promises. Not one. Don’t fuckin’ try me. You won’t win.”
She grimaced, taking a deep visible breath. “You don’t love those women.”
“Don’t need love to fuck, babe.”
“You’re being an asshole!”
“An honest one,” I paused to let my words sink in. “What you want from me is somethin’ I can never give you. Why can’t you understand that? It’s why I won’t take you to bed. I respect you for more than what’s between your legs. So stop fuckin’ throwin’ it at me. If I want pussy, all I have to do is step outside. Ya feel me?”
“Yeah, Creed… I feel ya. I feel the way you look at me sometimes when you think I can’t see you. I feel the way you become calm when I’m around. I feel the way you worry about me when I’m not close by. I feel the way you need me to comfort you, support you, fucking love you. And I feel the way you love me too! Is that enough fucking feels for you?!”
“Always been my best friend, Autumn. Always will be.”
She shook her head, disappointed with my response.
It was the truth. Every last word that fell from her lips was the goddamn truth, and I wasn’t going to argue with that. So, I gave her the only answer that was as real to me, as she was. Even though I knew it would do nothing, but hurt her. She needed to realize that all I would do was cause pain.
I was no good for her.
“I sit around and wait for you. Do you know that? I wait for you to call, to tell me that you need me. To tell me you miss me. To tell me all the bullshit that comes out of your mouth when you’re lonely! You’re leading me on! And I’m the fool for letting it happen. I’m not doing that anymore, you dick! I’ll go date. Sleep around. Be with other men, like you are with other women! How about that, huh? We will see who was right and who was wrong!”
“Don’t fuckin’ threaten me,” I warned. “Not leadin’ you on, you just keep comin’ back,” I blurted, regretting my words immediately.
She gasped. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened, instantly watering. Autumn was never much of a crier. She had tough skin, so I knew I fucked up.
I took a step in her direction. “Babe…”
She turned and left, slamming my bedroom door behind her, without another word.
“Fuck!” I yelled, pulling my hair in a frustrated gesture. Wanting to rip it the hell out. I didn’t know what to do when it came to her. What to say, or how to handle her.
Not one damn thing.
I needed to figure out how to make it better, without making it worse. I paced around my room like I would suddenly find the answers written on my walls or some shit.
I was at a loss.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge, twisted off the cap, and threw it on the counter. Chugging it back as if it was water, needing something to calm me the fuck down. I slammed the empty bottle down onto the counter when I was done. Looking at the door where a huge piece of my life, had just walked out. A faint shadow caught my attention from the corner of my eyes, reflecting on the wall.
The rest played out in slow fucking motion.
I dropped to the ground, covering my head with my arms, ducking behind the counter. Using it as a shield, going in for cover as best as I could as bullets suddenly sprayed throughout my entire bedroom. Destroying everything its wake. Casings busted through the drywall, ricocheting off the metal appliances. Shattering windows everywhere, causing shards of glass to lodge into my skin.
I pulled out my gun from the back of my jeans, standing without a second thought, returning fire in the direction of the shooter. Hearing a hard thud seconds later. The motherfucker fell to the ground, dead. I ran over to my drawer, grabbing another Glock, and throwing extra clips in the pockets of my jeans. I hauled ass to my door, peering down the hallway before running out of my room. Brothers flew out of theirs, shooting in all directions. Ready to kill without a moment’s notice. Acting on pure adrenaline and fury that someone was disrespecting us in our fucking home.
The warehouse was under fire.
The club was decorated with fucking bullet holes everywhere. An all-out war had broken out. Women were screaming bloody murder, running from rooms half-naked, trying to seek cover as best as they could. Some were not so fortunate.
“AUTUMN!” I shouted, stepping over bodies, searching around for her. Fear quickly taking over my body the longer it took to find her.
I sprinted down the hallway into the living room, trying to ignore all the bodies, gore, and blood surrounding me. Fucking praying to God I wouldn’t find Autumn amongst them. Opening fire, shooting men I didn’t even know or hadn’t ever seen before. There was an endless stream of bullets coming at us from all directions. Our clubhouse unrecognizable from the mayhem, and the sons of bitches, who were bombarding our joint. Blood flying everywhere, not knowing if it was theirs or mine.
I was numb.
“AUTUMN!” I called out, again. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!”
“Creed! Behind the bar! I saw her behind
the bar!” Diesel yelled as he took out two more men. Nodding a silent gesture to go to her, that he was covering my back. He threw an assault rifle at me, knowing I was going to need it. Chucking one of my empty guns to the ground, I tucked the other one in the back of my jeans. Darting toward the fucking bar.
A rush of adrenaline coursed through my veins, throbbing into my bloodstream. Taking over every inch of my fucking body. My heart pounded against my chest as I tried to make my way over to her. Diesel and I took down every motherfucker who was in our way. No one was going to stop me, they could try, but they’d fucking lose.
“Fuck! They’re swarming the club! Like fucking cockroaches! GET SOME!” Diesel seethed, bullet after bullet, after fucking bullet.
My vision tunneled, seeing nothing but red the closer I got to her. “AUTUMN!” I screamed over the bloodshed, turning the corner into the bar area.
She was sitting in the furthest corner behind a keg barrel as if she was trying to become part of the wall. Her head tucked in between her legs, her hands covering her ears. Rocking back and forth.
I’d never seen her look so fucking terrified.
It rocked my core.
I was over to her in two strides, crouching down in front of her as Diesel took position to lay out any motherfucker who came near.
“Babe,” I coaxed, slowly reaching for her, needing her to see it was me.
I didn’t care that the air was still filled with rapid fire. I needed to make sure she was responsive, and not going into fucking shock.
“Creed…” she bellowed, her eyes lighting up with fresh tears when she saw me. Grabbing my hand, she threw her arms around my neck. Holding me as tight as she could. “You’re alive. I thought you were dead. I thought they killed you,” she cried. Her body convulsed in my arms from the distress.
“Shhh…” I murmured to the side of her face. “Shhh… I’m here.” Trying to get her to calm down as best as I could.
“Creed, come on! I got a prospect to guard her!” Diesel shouted from my right.
I pulled away, jerking out my gun from the back of my jeans, handing it to her. “Anyone not wearin’ our colors comes near you, you fuckin’ shoot. Point blank, in the goddamn head. You understand me?”
She fervently nodded, taking the gun into her shaking hand. Still clutching onto me like her life depended on it. I roughly tore her out of my arms.
“Creed!” she wept, scared for me.
“Be right back, babe. Right fuckin’ back,” I reassured, nodding to the prospect to come switch places with me. Threatening his life if he let anything happen to her.
Diesel and I held our guns high, waiting for the next string of fire to ring out. I looked around the corner to my left, while he did the same to his right, making sure the coast was clear before we left the safety of our spot behind the bar.
“See ya on the flip side, brother,” he declared, taking off in the opposite direction.
I made my way over to the game room, the commotion getting louder with each step I took. Pausing at the door, I listened before kicking it in. Shot after shot erupted from my hands as I stepped into the room, bullet casings flying past my face, one right after another.
Ruthless and unforgiving.
Perpetrators falling to their deaths, all for the name of the fucking colors on their cuts.
Sinner’s Rejoice were making their presence known, letting us experience that they weren’t fucking around. Not only did they want our territory, they wanted our goddamn souls. Coming into our club, trying to show us who was boss, only to realize that their MC ain’t got shit on us. I lost count of all the men I’d killed, put to ground that day. I wasn’t any fucking better than they were. Fighting for my brothers with my last breath, if I had to.
Bottom line.
It was who I fucking was now.
Taking a deep breath for the first time since the first shots rang out, the smell of blood assaulted my senses. Nothing but the sounds of Harley’s taking off in all directions could be heard, fire ceasing all around me. They were riding out from the hell and anarchy they brought to us. With fewer men than they walked in with. It didn’t matter. This wasn’t over.
It was far from fucking over.
It had only just begun.
I walked back into the living room, stopping at the doorway. Diesel, Pops, a few other brothers stood there with their weapons down, silently staring at a man that was lying in a pool of his own blood, in the center of the room. Pops turned around when he heard me, revealing it was one of our own.
Phoenix.
Memories of the first tattoo he ever gave me immediately played in my mind, and each one since then. My father crouched down, closing Phoenix’s eyes.
He did the sign of the cross over his body, stating like always, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and all that fucking shit.”
I peered up, locking eyes with Autumn across the room, who was walking in with the prospect. A smile lit up her face when she saw I was alive, but it was quickly replaced with a frown when I didn’t return the gesture. She followed my stare, taking in the sight of Phoenix’s dead body. They had killed one of ours.
“I’m sorry,” she mouthed from the distance between us.
A shadow appeared out of nowhere. I saw it before it actually happened. The man I knew in my fucking gut was Marcus, reached up behind Autumn.
Aimed his gun and pulled the trigger.
“NO!” I shouted, running as fast as I could. Images of Luke’s death flashed in front of my eyes. The screaming, the blood, the chaos all coming back, hitting me like a ton of fucking bricks.
A blood-curdling scream snapped me out of one nightmare into the following.
The next thing I knew I was lying on the floor, the brothers all around me. Blinking away the throbbing pain. Realizing very fucking quickly that I just took a goddamn bullet…
For my father.
ELEVEN
CREED
“Just fuckin’ do it,” I ordered, tossing back the bottle of whiskey. Sweating and shaking profusely from the bullet lodged in the right upper quadrant of my abdomen. I was lying on the right side of my bed, propped up with a few pillows.
“Creed, just let me numb the site, so I can extract the bullet, and stitch you up. You won’t feel—”
“Won’t feel shit with a few more swigs of this shit either. Do it,” I interrupted Joseph, the doctor we had on payroll. Taking another drink from the already half-empty bottle.
“Goddamn it, Creed Jameson! Why are you being so stubborn? You’re not Superman. Let him numb you up!” Autumn demanded, worry evident in her tone. Eyeing me up and down from the place she sat next to my bed.
“Don’t need babyin’.” I took three more swigs from the head. “Not gonna tell you again.”
Joseph sighed, nodding before pouring rubbing alcohol on my open wound.
“Argggghhh!” I gritted out through clenched teeth, arching my back off the bed. “Motherfucker! Little warnin’ next time.”
“Diesel, I’m gonna need you to hold him down,” Joseph ordered, ignoring me. “He can’t move, or I won’t be able to find the bullet.”
Diesel grabbed the whiskey out of my hand, taking a few swigs himself, placing it on my bedside table when he was done. Joseph positioned my right arm across my chest, pushing me onto my left side for better access. Gesturing for him to get ready. Diesel knelt on the bed, hovering over me, putting one hand on the arm on my chest, securing it. The other on my waist, to hold me down.
“Here goes nothing,” Joseph said before slicing the blade into my wounded skin.
I could hear my skin tearing as he reached in the wound, digging for the bullet. “Fuuuuccccckkkk,” I groaned out.
The prospect in the room stood, rushing over. Grabbing the whiskey bottle off the nightstand and placed it to my lips, letting me chug the amber liquid down till there was nothing left.
“Ugh!” Autumn grumbled, standing up. “I can’t watch this! You’re fucking ridiculous! You all
are! Unbelievable! I can’t believe he’s doing this. Such a fucking idiot. Thinks he’s Tarzan…” she continued, hurrying out of the mess that was now my bedroom. Glass crunched beneath her feet. I could still hear her bitching down the hallway.
“Women,” Diesel stated from above me. “Can’t live with them. Can’t live without ‘em. I’ve tried. My hand gets too fuckin’ tired.”
I chuckled, the liquor finally taking over. Numbing the skin where the bullet went in.
“How ya feeling?”
I shrugged. Mostly hurting from the fact that Phoenix was gone. We didn’t walk away unscathed, losing a few other good men as well.
“Took a bullet for your old man. Not gonna lie. Didn’t see that shit comin’.”
“Me and you both, brother. Can’t even say it was a surprise. Knew it was comin’… didn’t want him to die.”
“Which is why we gotta talk, Creed.”
“So fuckin’ talk. Ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
“Got it,” Joseph chimed in, throwing the bloody bullet on my chest like a goddamn souvenir.
Diesel let me go, walking over to the kitchen.
“Clean hit, too. Didn’t nick any nerves, sliced right through the muscle between the ribs. I’ll stitch you up. Should close within a week. You’re lucky. Could have been a few inches above.” Joseph pointed to my heart. “I left my dressings in the car. Be right back.”
Diesel nodded toward the door to the prospect, silently ordering him to leave too. Kicking the door closed behind him, and walked back over to the bed.
“Gonna need this after you hear what I gotta say,” he advised, handing me a new bottle of whiskey.
“I’m listenin’,” I muttered, taking back a few swigs.
He sighed, taking a deep breath. Sitting in the chair Autumn just vacated. “Been brothers along time. Even before you were patched in. Yeah?”
“Not a pussy. Don’t need to make sure I’m wet, Diesel. Out with it.”