“So you made it home safely, I see.” Xander’s deep voice interrupted my thoughts and I groaned out loud.
“You, again.” I turned to look at him and almost groaned again. He was bare chested again and just wearing his boxers. “What do you want?”
“I wanted to apologize.” He stood next to me. “I’m sorry about tonight.”
“It’s fine.” I shrugged and looked away from him.
“Can we go and sit on the grass?” He asked softly. “I feel weird standing while you’re sitting.”
“I don’t want to sit in the grass.” I said petulantly.
“I’d like to have a talk with you, Liv and I’d rather we both be in a comfortable position.”
“Fine.” I jumped up. “I have to go in and get a blanket then. I can’t sit on the grass in this dress.”
“I brought one with me.” He held it out in front of him. “Just in case you were out here.”
“You were waiting up for me?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “I felt like we needed to talk.”
“Okay then.”
“First, I want to apologize again for Aiden and I just showing up at the club. I know that was a bit of a crazy thing to do.”
“Yeah, just a bit.” I said sarcastically and watched as he lay the blanket down on the grass. Then we both sat down and got comfortable.
“It was a shock for me, you know, seeing you here.” He said, abruptly changing the subject and I looked down at my legs. He thought he’d had a shock? What about me?
“Yeah well, I wasn’t exactly over the moon to hear the news either.”
“It’s your fault that we’re even in this position.” He grabbed my hands. “Look at me, Liv.”
“It’s my fault?” My voice rose. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”
“You left me and when I woke up and you were gone, I felt empty, lonely and sad.” He sighed as his fingers played with mine. “I’ve never felt that way before.”
“What do you mean I left you? I’ve never left you.”
“Last weekend.” He made a face. “We made love all night in the hotel and when I woke up you were gone. No note, no number. I didn’t even have your name. And I was upset. I wanted to spend the day with you. I wanted to get to know you.”
“So you proposed to my sister because you were upset that I hit it and quit it?” I bit my lower lip to stop myself from laughing. I wasn’t sure why I had said ‘hit it and quit it’, but it made me want to laugh.
“Did you just say ‘hit it and quit it’?” Xander’s eyes were laughing at me.
“Yes.” I nodded and smiled. “I’m not sure why I said that.”
“Maybe because it’s true.” He grinned. “That is what you did, well technically I hit it, but you were the one to quit it.”
“Xander.” I raised an eyebrow at him and sat back. “You can continue with what you were saying.”
“Sorry, I got distracted.” He licked his lips. “I was just remembering how deep and hard I was hitting it. I was hitting all the right spots, wasn’t I?”
“Xander.” I blushed, not wanting to tell him that he had hit spots I didn’t even know existed before.
“Sorry.” He chuckled. “It’s hard to forget the best sex of your life.”
“I was the best sex of your life.”
“Yes.” He had a devilish look on his face as his thumb traced up and down my wrist and palm. “And I think that’s why it hit me so hard when you weren’t there that morning, no pun intended. I,” he paused and gazed into my eyes. “I was angry, Liv. I was angry that the first time I ever felt something the morning after a night of passion was the first time a woman had hurt me. I reacted rashly. It’s hard to realize that meaningless one night stands don’t always stay meaningless.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you were something different. What we had...that spark in the church and then in the hotel, well it was special. It made me feel different, weird, I don’t even know how to explain it. I didn’t like that feeling. I still don’t like that feeling. I don’t like being here with you and feeling like I’m flying. I don’t like touching you and feeling like we’re connected. I don’t like looking at you and feeling like smiling. I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t want these feelings. I’ve treated you poorly and for the first time in my life I’m ashamed of my actions. I’m ashamed of making you feel like a piece of meat. Because for the first time in my life, I realize that sex and women aren’t just there for my pleasure. You’ve made me feel that and I don’t know how to feel about that.”
“What are you saying Xander?” I breathed out, my heart racing fast. I’m going to be honest now and admit that I thought he was going to tell me he loved me. I know, I’m crazy, he barely knew me and yet, I wanted him to tell me he loved me. And if I’m even more honest, I wanted him to propose to me. I wanted him to say that he needed me so badly that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I even half thought that was coming.
“I met Gabby a few weeks before the wedding through Luke and well, the day after he called I met up with her, Luke and Henry.”
“Luke that just got married?” I frowned. “Luke from the wedding?”