“Not at all.” I shook my head and touched the side of his face. “What happened?”
“My parents died in a car crash and my grandfather was no longer interested in helping; at least not without a set of rules.”
“Like you getting married?”
“Yes.” He sighed. “I resisted as long as I could and I tried to use my own money, but my trust is tied up in so many ways and there are restrictions on how I can use the money. I don’t have full access to it until I’m 35.”
“Oh wow.”
“So I finally said, fuck it. If I need to be married to do what I need to do, then I need to get married. And then your sister needed a husband. So we came to an arrangement. It seemed smart. It seemed practical. And it was safe. There were no feelings to complicate matters or make anything messy.”
“That’s good.” I looked down, trying not to show him how hurt and confused I was again.
“I really like you, Liv.” His fingers grabbed my chin and he made me look at him. “But I don’t even know you, you know. I don’t understand why or how I could feel so close to you. Or how I could miss you that morning when you were gone. I’m a practical guy. A resourceful guy, but I don’t do relationships or emotions. Or feelings. They’re not to be trusted.”
“I understand.”
“Do you really?” His eyes searched mine.
“Yes.” I leaned forward and gave him a light kiss. “I understand Xander.”
“I can’t just let this craziness between us change everything. I can’t let my emotions influence this decision.” He sounded as if he were trying to convince both of us.
“You need to do what you need to do.” I pulled back slightly and blinked rapidly. I would not let myself cry in front of him.
“Will you spend the night with me?” He asked softly. “We don’t have to have sex. I just want to hold you in my arms. I just want to feel your heart beat next to mine. I just want to wake up with you still there next to me.”
“No, sorry.” I shook my head and stood up slowly. “I’m sorry, Xander, but like I told you before, I’m not that kind of girl. Thank you for explaining why you’re marrying Gabby, but that doesn’t change anything. You’re still her fiancé and she is still my sister and I’m still me. And I don’t want to be the other woman in any sense of the word.” I straightened my dress and looked down at him, trying to remember the look of hurt on his face. I was pretty sure I’d never see this side of him again. “You’re a great guy Xander, but you’re not my great guy. Good night.” I said and nodded my head and walked back across the lawn and into the house. Don’t trip, don’t trip was all I could think as I hurried away from him, with my heart racing and tears streaming down my face.
Chapter Ten
“Do you think your parents are going to be pissed?” Alice asked me as we crept into our apartment early the next morning.
“Nah, they most probably won’t even notice we aren’t there.” I lied.
“I’m glad you wanted to leave early as well.” Alice sighed. “I’ve got a splitting headache.”
“Me too.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “I didn’t want to deal with any of them this morning.”
“Yeah, me either.” She yawned. “It was a good idea to wake me up at four am so we could get out of there before anyone woke up, but I’m still tired.”
“Are you saying you want to go back to bed?” I laughed and she nodded.
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk about what happened last night.” She collapsed onto the couch.
“What do you mean?”
“I know something happened between you and Xander after we got back.”
“How?”
“I just do.” She wrapped her arms around her legs. “Now are you going to tell me or do I have to tickle it out of you?”
“Oh Gabby.” I groaned and sat down on the couch next to her. “It’s such a mess.”
“Oh no, what happened?” She looked at me with big eyes. “You didn’t sleep with him again did you?”
“No,” I shook my head. “We were in the backyard, Alice.”
“Did you give him a blowjob?”
“No Alice.” I rolled my eyes.
“Did he go down on you?”
“Nothing like that.” I giggled. “He told me that he’s raising money to help people in Africa so they can have clean drinking water.” I sighed. “He’s a really good man. Not as much of a jerk as I thought.”
“Huh?” She sat up. “I’m sorry, but what? I’m confused. Why is that bad? Isn’t that good? You found out that the guy you had a one night stand with is actually a really decent person.”
“It should be good right?” I groaned. “But it’s not good, that’s why he’s marrying Gabby. Supposedly by marrying her, he can gain access to more money at his family company and help more people or something.”
“So why can’t he just marry you then?” She shrugged. “Why does it have to be Gabby? I’m sure his grandfather didn’t say, you have to marry the biggest bitch you can find.”
“Oh Alice.” I giggled. “I think he feels a sense of obligation to her.”
“Hmm, okay.” Alice frowned. “So his problem is that he’s too nice a guy?”